Please, Do Not Do This To A Child #NAPCAN

The current climate of the world today is, at best, volatile. There is so much hate, anger, killing, and sadness. Worst of all, every second is broadcast through the media 24/7. People are talking in grocery store checkout lines about death tolls rising. Parents on playgrounds are expressing their disgust with a teacher or another parent, or worse, a child. Teenagers are repeating their parents and peers opinions about world politics, presidents, terrorism, the neighbors.

Anymore, it's hard to escape the hate and gossip. This is never more true for children, who are stuck at the feet of an adult or peer.

I beg you, let children be children for as long as possible. Censor their exposure to hate and horrible images. This world is definitely a big shitty place at times, but there is no reason for a child to know it. And trust me, children know WAY more than their given credit for. They also pick up on EVERYTHING. It's how they learn and navigate this big world. Unfortunately, they don't have a filter or self-censor to protect their mind, body and soul from the horrible things they shouldn't know about, yet. 

To drive home my point below is a very dark PSA that at one time was rumored to be banned due to its very blunt nature. It wasn't. It's just that in-your-face honest.

Australia’s National Association for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect, NAPCAN, created this profound and thought provoking 90-second public service announcement, Children See, Children Do, to show the impact your behavior has on a child. 

WARNING: The video starts out innocent enough with a child mimicking an adult walking through a town square talking on a mobile phone, but then the behaviors copied gradually intensify to smoking, racism, animal neglect and even domestic violence. This is not easy to watch, but it will change you.

           

  

Children See, Children, Do.  Make YOUR Influence Positive. PLEASE, do not do this to a child. They are our future, fill them with love, not hate.

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**I received exclusive rights from NAPCAN to use this video on my blog. The Australian government organization, Children’s Guardian was present during filming to ensure children were not exposed to harm in any way. The domestic violence scenes had adults and children filmed separately, then placed together in postproduction. The scene with the child smoking, the cigarette and smoke were added to her shot in post production.

Pediatric Experts Agree, THIS Is The Best Toy To Give A Child

**Today, I'm partnering with the Cubbie Lee Toy Company, to talk about the number one, Pediatric Expert recommended toy.  All opinions are my own.

While doing research for a parenting app I was on the writing team for, I repeatedly came across research showing open-ended toys where the very best toy a child could play with. So what exactly are, open-ended toys? According to, Colleen D. Multari, LMSW, director of early learning at The Early Years Institute in Plainview, NY:

"Open-ended toys result in open-ended play. This type of play can evolve over time while also encouraging children to create and problem-solve as they explore the world around them. Open-ended play with peers encourages social development and social interaction while also developing cognitive skills. Children have to discuss and negotiate how to use the multipurpose toy. The social and developmental gains made by open-ended play far exceed those made by directed play."  

What usually comes to mind first when talking about classic open-ended toys are building blocks and shape sorters. These toys are made up of bright colors and shapes and almost always, gender neutral.







Needless to say, the one toy most all children play with are the stackable blocks made up of many, many different shapes and sizes. In fact, I'm still finding hidden cylinders that doubled as steam rollers under the furniture.

Looking back, if I could only buy my son only two or three toys, it would be the blocks, shape sorter and block puzzles. Oh, he loves his block puzzles! 

Probably the best testimonial I can give to the staying power of open-ended toys, is my son and his best friend, both five-years-old, tearing into the toys I was sent from Cubbie Lee Toys for quality verification. (I review and partner with only the best!) Even at five, these traditional "baby toys" not only still appealed to the boys, but they played with their toy for about fifteen minutes solid, then switched!

If you're about to have a baby, a child's birthday or any other occasion to buy a toy for a child, make sure you consider the importance of classic open-ended toys, before buying the plastic, trendy piece-of-crap that ends up broken in five minutes or less! 

A little about Cubbie Lee Toys, a family owned company, all products are educational, made with sustainable harvest timber and handcrafted to the highest standard. Their toys are made for babies aged 6 months to children aged 5. All toys come with a 30 day no quibble return policy AND a 5 Year Cubbie Lee Toy Company Warranty! 

Want to get more information about Cubbie Lee Toys, the Family behind these sustainable gems or order your child a toy that will last a lifetime, click here!

How To Meditate Your Way To Peace and Calm #MondayMotivation

Ten years ago, a physical therapist recommended meditation as a way to heal and help with pain management after a car accident. So, I gave it a try. Many, many tries.

I've tried focusing on my Breath.

I've tried saying 'ONE' over and over again.

I've read the books.

I've tried guided meditation on my iPhone with an app.

I've tried everything, but my brain won't shut the Phuck up long enough for me to get the job done.

The trouble is, I have such a hard time quieting my anxiety brain long enough to reach the inner peace I hear so much about. I've also been pretty random about meditating. I try for a few weeks, and then I give up when I get frustrated.

Then, I get into a rut in my life where I'm desperate to try anything to find some inner peace, so I try meditating again.

After 10 years, I still haven't given up.

Why?

Because, I've managed to actually pull it off a few times, and just like everyone said, it was amazing.

Between the testimonials and my experience, I will try to conquer meditation for the rest of my life if I have to. There really is something to it, and being that I've declared 2016 the year I push negativity out of my life and fill it with positivity, I'm making meditation a priority. The spiritual and scientific proof is too overwhelming not to.

MANTRA:  I will learn to meditate in 2017

I'd love to know if you meditate, How you do it? Have you been meditating for a long time, do you love it? Are you new to meditation? Are you having the same problems that I am?

5 Tips to Prepare Your Child for a New Baby

It’s an exciting time in your life when you’re preparing to welcome a new baby into the world. It’s a whole new experience when you’re a first-time parent, but what if you have a child or two already? This is another experience altogether. It’s important that while you’re preparing for a new baby that you remember to help your other child or children understand what’s going on. Welcoming another member of the family can be challenging when your little one (or ones) already like things the way they are. Here are five tips to help prepare a child for a new sibling.

1. Answer Questions Simply

Your child may have lots of questions about the baby, so be ready to answer them. Keep the answers simple and phrase them in a way your child will hopefully understand. Be as honest as possible, but you don’t need to go into details. It’s not necessarily time for “the talk” just because your three-year-old asked where babies come from. Let your child know he or she can ask any questions, and you will do your best to answer.

2. Explain What to Expect

Children understand more than many adults give them credit for, so don’t underestimate explaining to your child just what to expect. You can talk about what happens when mommy goes to the hospital (and if your child will be staying with a friend or relative) and what will happen when the baby comes home. This is good to start well in advance so your child knows what’s coming before it actually happens.

3. Involve Your Child in Preparations

If you need to go shopping for baby clothes and other items or ready a nursery for your new little one, let your child help with the preparations. He or she can help pick some of the new clothes the baby will wear or assist (as well as he or she can) in setting up the new baby’s room. Your child might even feel a sense of pride in helping to get everything ready.

4. Introduce the New Baby Soon

As soon as possible after the baby is born, you should introduce your child to the new baby. As an added gesture of love, you can have a special big brother or big sister present from the baby to your child. If possible, maybe get mom, dad, and all children together alone for some bonding time with their new little family.

5. Enlist Your Child’s Help in Caring for the New Baby

You can help your child adjust to the new baby at home by involving them with different tasks to help you. This can be something as simple as sitting with you while you’re feeding the baby or grabbing a diaper during changing time. Your child might feel special by contributing help for mommy and the new baby.

Every child adjusts differently to having a new sibling. Be sure to take the time to still let your child know you love him or her. Take it step by step, be patient, and listen to your child to address any concerns. It might “take some time, but eventually, you all should be able to effectively transition to your new normal

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6 Things All New Mothers Should Know To Survive The First 6-Months

 If only I knew all of this, and followed it, when I was a new mom...

I have no doubt that every mother will agree with me when I say, during pregnancy the only thing you get more of than stretch marks and bad gas, is parenting advice.  Between the always ready to share been-there-done-that mothers, parenting books and online resources, the information available today for new mothers is overwhelming. What's more, you never know what to believe since one book will contradict the next, and what one mother swears by, another mother will insist did not work for her baby. Weeding through all of the advice can be daunting, to say the least.

Looking back, I wish I was given more advice on how to deal with becoming a mother, and less on the three million different ways to rock a baby to sleep. I needed to know about the self-doubt and failures that came along with motherhood, or that having a baby would take a huge toll on my marriage and personal life if I let it. After talking with numerous other mothers, I realized we all struggled with the same issues; things it seemed no one bothered to warn us about in between lessons on feeding, changing and rocking our newborn to sleep.  I've put a list together of the top six things all new mothers to know.  Things we wish we didn't have to learn the hard way.

Can you believe Summer '17 is almost over? Like all summers, it went way too fast. While, spring and summer are my favorite seasons, Autumn isn't really that bad. After all, its a time for football, chili cookouts, boots, cozy sweaters, hoodies and leggings and eleven other things you will never believe!  Keep reading for Autumn fun facts totally worth knowing...

DID YOU KNOW:


1. Levels of testosterone in both men and women are at their highest in the fall. Scientists speculate the surge may be a result of ancient mating instincts (e.g., the fall “rutting season”) or that decreasing daylight somehow triggers it.

2. According to NASA, autumn is “aurora season” because geomagnetic storms are about twice as frequent as the annual average during the fall.

3. Cooler temperatures and less light during the autumn months signals the tree's leaves to stop producing chlorophyll, or the green pigment that helps capture sunlight to power photosynthesis. As the green fades, the leave’s other pigments shine through. 

4. Red and purple leaves are caused by the presence of sugars from sap that is trapped inside of the leaves.

5. The word “harvest” comes from the Old Norse word haust, which means “to gather or pluck.” As people moved to the cities, “harvest” fell out of use and city dwellers began to use “fall of the leaf,” which was shortened to “fall.

6. The shorter days and cooler nights tells the animals to begin storing food in their nest/dens and fat on their body, before winter's death freeze arrives.

7. Research suggests that low levels of vitamin D (the sunshine vitamin) can lead to weight gain during autumn and winter. Lack of vitamin D reduces fat breakdown and triggers fat storage. Take a supplement before even consider sunbathing. It's safer, faster and healthier.

8. Autumn holidays include Labor Day, Grandparents Day, Patriot Day, Autumn Equinox, Columbus Day, Halloween, Veterans Day, Remembrance Day and Thanksgiving.

9. Each autumn, monarch butterflies migrate from the U.S. to Mexico and some parts of Southern California. They fly at speeds of 12 to 25 miles per hour. Monarchs are the only insect that migrates during the winter to a warmer climate...  2,500 miles away!

10. The autumn equinox, or the 'First Day Of Fall' signals the aurora borealis--the Northern Lights--geomagnetic storms are twice as likely to occur during the fall due to cool evening weather.

11. The pumpkin was first named, Pepon, which means “large melon, by the Greeks,”

FYI: How a Pumpkin grows!

What's your favorite thing about Autumn, Fall, Harvest?

Creating Balance In Your Parenting Partnership

NOTE: This is the conclusion to yesterday's post, The Mistake So Many First Time Parents Make, where I shared a back and forth email between myself and a reader exposing the ugly truths behind control-freak (first-time) moms, and dads either not sure what to do or are getting away with doing the minimum. Today's post is a continuation of the email exchange, and the magic that happens when you communicate with your parenting partner to create a better balance.

Now, where we left off yesterday was me telling Kate, "It's important to be open with Will about feeling overwhelmed, but also know you take on too much by your own accord. 

This is what happened when Kate talked to her husband: 

KATE: Guess what?! Hubby is currently upstairs putting George to sleep for the first time... Fingers crossed.

ME: Yaaaaaaaaaay!!! Bravo. Small steps. I'm so happy for you!! Let me know how it goes!

KATE: 8:08pm, George is asleep, kitchen is cleaned up and I am sitting on the couch!!! Heaven! 

I look back to the first year of parenting where I was a scared, control freak first-time parent. I was so full of anxiety, I couldn't sit down. I was constantly rushing around doing one thing or another to ensure my son was well fed, cared for and in a sterile safe environment. Then, at the end of the day, I would plop down on the couch exhausted, resenting the hell out of my husband for not helping me. 

He insisted he would help if he knew what to do or I didn't bitch at him for doing things wrong. He also expressed frustration about me constantly standing over him telling when and what to do with his son because of the, "routine".

It's true, that routine was everything to me and having everything just right was important to me, too. Even though the new-parent anxiety was plentiful enough to keep me on the move, mentally and physically I was falling apart. 

What's sad is that my husband is an exceptional father, and fought me every step of the way to prove that. I just struggled so much with how his ways were not like mine, and at the time, I thought my ways were the best. I was such a bitch! (Sorry, baby. I love you!)

Please learn from me on this one, if you resent your parenting partner because you carry the majority of the load, take a look at the reason why. Is it because you won't let your partner do anything? Or when you do, you critique everything to the point of berating their parenting ways?  Or is your partner a lazy shit that needs a fire lit under their ass?

Regardless, if you are worn out and need help and it's sitting on the couch in the other room, speak up, step back, delegate. Something. Find a way to open the line of communication, like Kate did, to create a better parenting balance. Trust me, your entire family will benefit from you relaxing a little. 

7 Stereotypical Moms You Meet During Back-To-School

With back-to-school in full-force, I have been reintroduced to a few of those stereotypical moms I want to throat punch. You know those moms who take it to the top to prove something, but exactly what, no one knows? (Think: Bad Moms Movie)

I know you should never say never. Especially, when it comes to anything related to parenting, however, the following Seven Types of Mom I sincerely hope I never become.

The PTA Princess- You know the perfect, perky, all smiles Pinterest Princess bouncing around in yoga pants jacked up on Starbucks. That chick, I will never be. More power to her, because someone needs to make perfect Minion cupcakes for the Bake Sale.

The Soccer Socialite- One place you will never catch my ass is hovering over my child in sports. I want him to love and excel at sports, in his own way on his own time. While I'll encourage and support him, I will never push him. It's his life. Not mine. I also have no desire to get in a snack rotation pissing contest. I've heard horror stories of soccer mom riots over a shitty snack.

The Tech Tyrant- Technology is the future. No freaking way am I going to restrict my child from it. Yes, I know the "child experts" attribute a slew of mental and developmental issues to tech-time. Yes, I know they warn that video games can turn children into psychopaths, but...well... NEWS FLASH: elementary school can do that too.

There are some brilliant educational apps available, and I love them. I attribute a part of my son's early vocabulary burst, hand-eye coordination, and problem-solving skills and flawless dance moves to educational apps and YouTube Kids videos.  (I don't care, tell me to burn in hell, I'm not sorry!) TECH RULES!

The Blind Blamer: There is nothing I can't stand more than the mom who blames everyone else's child for their child's behavior. WAKE UP! Your child is not perfect. Kids act crazy. ALL KIDS! So, before you go blindly blaming a playdate for your child's moody behavior or for biting, "when she's never done that before", shut up and see your child for what she is, normal! Not, perfect. No kid is.

The Holistic Hippie- While I admit I sometimes sway this way, I will never hug the tree completely for one simple reason, FOOD IS GOOD! I am all for dodging hormones, GMOs, processed foods and refined sugar, but I'm not going to go all nutty about it. A life without McDonald's fries, Chick'fil-A chicken, Taco Bell Crunch wraps and Movie Theater popcorn just ain't livin'! (Sorry food allergy people. I'm lactose intolerant, so I know how it sucks to miss out on this stuff.) But for the parents out there forcing their child to eat black bean cupcakes when all the other kids get to eat Walmart cupcakes is, well, shitty.  No it's not organic and sugar-free, but seriously, get over yourself, one bloody cupcake is not going to make your child grow a third ball. Let the little guy eat cake once in a while!

Society's Sweetheart- This is one type of mom I refuse to be. I can't be her. I tried to mother according to society's rules and ideas, but the onslaught of pediatric opinions, medical journals, parenting books, forums and the latest "expert advice" were impossible to keep up with. Not to mention, rarely worked for my newborn. Thankfully, I stopped trying to be Society's Sweetheart Mom and followed my own Mother's Instinct. What a difference that made. Suck it society! It turns out, I know WAY more about my child than you.

The Crazed Competitor- I am fiercely competitive in sport and challenges, however, when it comes to mom-pissing-contests, I'm out. I have no desire to be the room mom, drive the best SUV, have the bounciest ass, or brag about providing the most organic locally sourced snack. If your kid beats mine in a race, cool, it happens. As far as I know, The Mom of the Year is not a real contest. Not that I would want to win. Competing with another mother is stupid.

So what type of mom am I?

The MomMe I try to be the best mother I can by being, Me. I love my son with all of my heart, spoil him rotten, but also am firm when needed. I encourage him to grow and challenge himself daily. Instilling  a strong faith in God, kindness, love, understanding, openness and humility is my mom-mission. I'm not perfect. I screw up daily. I slip and cuss in front of my son, let him play Lego Star Wars on PS4, have really crappy days and totally understand when he does too. I'm laid back and that's my parenting style. Neither of us is in a race or competition at this life thing, so enjoying each moment is my daily mantra. Being a mother is the greatest gift of my life. Letting mommy-wars, society, insecurities and pissing contest stop me from being my best MomME is pure dumbassery.

TIP: Be your own kind of MomMe and be proud of it!

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What The Parenting Books Are Afraid To Say

There's no doubt about it, the parenting books seem to leave out the scariest parts of parenting.  I get it, freaking out a pregnant chick is not the best thing to do, but making a first-time parent think parenting is easy if you follow the steps in the book, is crap too!

In an effort to do the job the parenting books won't, and in honor of top 10 Tuesday, below are 10 Things The Parenting Books Are Afraid To Tell You.

This Should End The Mommy Wars...

The other day while talking with a friend about the ridiculousness of the so-called "Mommy Wars", I realized that regardless of whether a mom is working out of the home or in the home, they are both essentially spending their day doing the same things. 

Below are 10 undeniable Ways Working Moms and Stay-At-Home Moms Have The Exact Same Day... 

1. Mornings SUCK. Every morning, every mom, is up way too early to have enough time to make breakfast, pack lunches and get everyone dressed and started on their day... Then spend whatever time is left trying to make herself look fabulous presentable.

2. Both wipe asses all day. Whether it's a kid or a boss, someone needs their ass wiped.

3. Both clean up messes all day... that they didn't make. Whether it's a kid or a coworker, someone is making a big mess that needs cleaning up.

4 Ways To Make Money From Home

Parenting is the most important job you’ll ever do. It’s also the most labor-intensive. Raising a child means dropping whatever you’re doing whenever your baby needs you. It’s an overwhelming task, and you’ll discover it’s that much more difficult if you try to work from home at the same time. Trust me, I know!

Look at that face! 

There was no way I was going back to the Ad Agency.

Zip. Zero. None.  

If staying home with your child and earning a little extra money on the side sounds like a plan to you, keep reading for a few ideas on how to make money as a full-time parent.

The Day I Took My Eyes Off A Toddler

While I get over the latest crapy virus to pass through Pre-K and into my home, I'm reposting an old favorite; A tale of the day I took my eyes off a toddler. 

Last Friday, while Ollie was having lunch in front of Sesame Street, I decided to mop the kitchen floor. After mopping, I ran to the basement to switch the laundry. When I came back upstairs, I found Ollie dragging a mop through the house. A very wet mop...

Ollie: Look, Mommy, I'm Helping!

Me: How did you get that mop so wet?

Ollie: In there!

He runs over to the bathroom door and points. I follow him to where he is standing over the toilet and pointing in the bowl.

Me: You put the mop in the toilet?

Ollie: YES! I'm helping mommy mop the floors.

Even though I wanted to lose my shit, I couldn't. He genuinely thought he was helping.

ME: In the calmest tone possible, I said something to my child no parent ever should... Honey, we don't mop the floors with toilet water. 

I looked behind me at the trail of toilet water leading from the bathroom, through the breakfast room, down the hall and into the living room. I didn't know if I was going to cry or throw up, or both. I may have done both. I'm not sure since I've nearly blacked out the horrifying scene...

I was so thoroughly grossed out, I called FTD and whined into the phone, Ollie just mopped the floors with toilet water. ALL OF THEM! 

He was speechless. The man couldn't even make a joke.

Ollie stole his thunder like never before.

I immediately soaked the mop head in bleach, made Ollie sit in his highchair instead of his big boy chair to finish his lunch, then proceeded to mop every square inch of the floors in my house.

Every. Square. Inch.

I wanted to yell and cry, but I couldn't. All those times I got him to, "Help mommy Swiffer the floors", and then praised him for his hard work, backfired. I created this monster. In a VERY small way, it was part my fault he drug the mop covered in toilet hell through the house.

Please, my friends, if you learn nothing else from my stellar parenting, take these three valuable lessons with you...

1. Don't leave the mop out.
2. Helpful toddlers are just as dangerous as Silent toddlers.
3. Be very afraid if your child says anything remotely close to, Look, Mommy, I'm Helping!  

Seven Tips For Surviving Cold And Flu Season

Being that we are in the throws of cold and flu season, I thought I would share a few of my best tips for caring for a sick sad face. a.k.a your family and yourself when down and out with the flu. Below you will find my best tips for caring for littles, with facts, studies and recommendations for keeping the entire family healthy year round!

1. Resist the urge to reduce a low grade fever.  It's not a coincidence a fever is usually the first sign illness, especially in children. A fever is the body's first line of defense, and should not be treated when below 102 in children. I know it's hard, but when your child has a low grade fever  (anything below 102F), CTFD (Calm the f#ck Down) and let the fever do its job. Below is a recommendation from the Mayo Clinic on how to treat fevers in children:

Is This Mom Guilt Or Fear Of Change?

After agonizing for months, and a fair amount of encouragement from educators, I decided to put my three-year old in Pre-Kindergarten. Being that I work from home, I went back and forth with whether or not it was really necessary to start him in "school" so early. After all, by law, my son can't start school until he is six. Why push him into school so early?

In then end, I decided to send him to school for the structure, social development and discipline, but only three days a week. While I'm fairly certain the first day of school was harder on me, it turned out to be the very best decision. He got everything I hoped for out of school, and then some!

When we met with his teacher for the first conference, she recommended moving to five days a week. Ollie was learning at a great pace, had loads of fun at school and should I decide to move him to Junior Kindergarten next year, he would be ready for the five day weeks.

Again, I agonized over what was best.

I struggle because I want my kid to be a kid for as long as possible. There is absolutely no need to rush him along.

However.

My darling child is bat-shit crazy, always into something, on a constant quest for knowledge and needs to learn how to share and get along with other children. And, well, his school is only 3.5 hours.

That all being said, I still can't help but feel a sort of tightness in my chest when I think about my son starting school 5-days a week! Play school is one thing, but structured learning five days a week at three years old? Am I doing the right thing? Is my fear of change and my baby growing up causing this anxiety?

It's so hard watching my little guy become a big guy. Between starting school five days a week and turning four, i realize that it's time to get some sort of a grip, because I can't have a panic attack every time my kid reaches a milestone! otherwise, at this rate, I'll need a padded room before he makes it to kindergarten.

I swear, parenting is hard enough, the fact that I compound it with my own insecurities and anxiety is just plain dumbassery.

It's Time For The Great Toy And Crap Clean Out of 2015

With Christmas only a few days away, it's time for my annual, Great Toy Clean Out! For the third year in a row, I'm decluttering my child's toys before new ones arrive. After a year of playing and growing, many of the toys are no longer age appropriate or haven't been played with in months. 

Beside the fact I can't stand the unnecessary clutter, there are many children who would love the toys my child no longer does, so, Annual toy clean out it is! I'll also gather old clothes, blankets, hats and gloves to donate as well.

This 3-in-1 Baby Chair Should Be On Every New Parent Wish List

** I wrote this review/blog post while participating in the Ingenuity Blogger Campaign and received monetary compensation and/or free products to facilitate my review.  Views and opinions are my own.

Like everything FTD and I review on the blog that requires assembly, FTD was tasked with assembling the SmartClean Trio 3-in-1 High Chair. Once together, it’s his job to test the product’s structure and strength, for the review process. (Yes, he totally tried to sit in it!)

But things didn’t go as they usually do. Not even close…

I'm Trying To Get In A Lifetime Of Hugs In Less Than Five Years.

There is absolutely nothing I love more than cuddling with my son. I love holding him close and smelling his sweet baby scent. I love the way my heartbeat slows and my entire body fills with beautiful energy. It's pure momma lovin' bliss. What's not momma lovin' bliss, is knowing soon my son will be totally grossed out by the thought of sitting in his mommy's lap for cuddle time.

<Insert momma meltdown>

When I think about this loss of cuddle time, I find myself holding my son a little tighter, and for longer. I find myself trying to get a lifetime of hugs in before he turns five.

It's total crap that I only get a short time in my son's life to hold him tight for as long as I want. It's not fair that the beautiful moments of affection we share throughout the day, will be gone before I know it. I'm dreading the day I go to hug my son, only to get the hand out stopping me followed by, "Mom! Gross."

Damn that day!P

It seems like five was the magical age for my nephews to not want to be held during movies, or happily hug me when I came and went. Now, at 7 and 8 years old, they run like hell when they see me coming for hugs and kisses. Not that it stops me from chasing them all over the house and then clobbering them with hugs and kisses when I catch them. Sadly, I know this will be gone soon too.  Soon, it will be creepy of me to chase them for cuddles. I will have no choice but to learn to love the ass out hugs, and take them when I can get them.

I know this will be the case with my son at some point too.

I think about how it must suck even worse for dads, since their time to hug and cuddle seems to be cut even shorter. I might be wrong, but it does seem like after four, my nephews were only going to their dad for comfort after a fall, or fight with their sibling. Whereas before, they would crawl in daddy's lap whenever it was free.

 I know it will kill FTD; he loves cuddling with Ollie as much as I do.

                                             
While I know I will not go hug-less after my son's fifth birthday, the cuddles will slow down and become few and far between as he gets older. In order to not completely go mental over this, everyday I try to get in a lifetime of cuddles, kisses and hugs. Everyday, on many many many occasions, I hold my son tight and tell him I love him, so in a few years when he is completely grossed out by momma cuddles, I will know I didn't waste one chance to experience one of the most beautiful gifts of motherhood; holding my child tight and telling him how much I love him.

Finding The Balance Between Nap Time, Rest Time and Screw It...

A few months ago I posted about Ollie showing signs of being ready to drop his nap.  Being that I had heard from multiple parents to expect the nap to go away after Ollie turns three, I was ready for it. Not to mention, that study I posted about saying, After two, naps can spoil sleep. (I called BS on it, and I was right!  Ollie was the exact opposite!)

What I wasn't ready for was the internal struggle over whether or not to let him drop the nap.

At first, I let him go without naps.  Since so many parents told me it would happen, I just went with it. But after just a week of letting nap time go, I noticed that it was making my child a miserrbal brat from 4pm on, and a terrible sleeper at night!  Sure, he went to sleep by 7pm without issue, but he tossed and turned all night, waking at least three or four times.

Rather than force him to take a nap, I tried to make him have "Rest Time" in his room.  He could play quietly in his room for an hour.

This kind of proved to be worthless too.

We went back to taking naps the next week...

For those of you facing the nap transition period, I thought I would outline the difference I see in my child between Naps, Rest Time and  saying, Screw it.  Because, to just make the blanket statement, "children stop having naps after three," is TOTALLY CRAP! Just like with every other big change with your child, you have to find a comfortable balance to make the transition as smooth as possible.

NAPTIME

Ollie is nearly three-and-a-half and still NEEDS his naps. His nap begins after lunch between 12-1pm and lasts about two hours.

He wakes up refreshed and happy. And stays that way until bedtime at 7pm. I try to get him up to the bath by 6:30 but due to he and FTD playing and him getting a little older, I let it slide until 7-7:30. He is asleep by 8:30 every night. Though I shoot for 8pm.

Naps, by far, make for the best day for both Ollie and I.  Sure bed time is a little more difficult, but to have a nice guy all day, and a GREAT sleeper at night, it's worth it. When Ollie has his nap, he sleeps at night from 8pm-7am.

REST TIME

Rest time is that in-between nap and screw it phase. I usually resort to rest time when Ollie is being SUPER difficult about taking his nap. Or, we have had a crazy busy day that kept us out past nap time. I stick him in his room for an hour to play, which he rarely protests, since he is already tired from missing his nap.

Rest time only nets me an early easy bedtime that starts at 7pm. He tosses and turns all night long, and wakes up four or five times crying.

Needless to say, even though the early easy bedtime is awesome, it's not worth the horrible sleep we both get. Rest time is my last resort. Ollie falls asleep around 7:30pm and wakes around 6:30am

SCREW IT

Screw happens on the rare occasion that nap time and rest time are impossible.

No nap or quiet rest time results in a demon toddler. Think: Mean as hell, almost like a Godzilla toddler. He throws toys, temper tantrums, his food and anything he can find to toss at Professor the Cat.

                                               

Being that screw it, results in complete and utter toddler dumbassery, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, my three year old is FAR from not needing a nap.

Bottom Line:  Every child is different, and just because every kid on the street stopped having naps after turning three, doesn't mean your toddler will be the same. And even though I love an easy, early bedtime, it's not worth the last three hours of the day when my toddler melts down, only to toss and turn all night.

Besides, I need his nap time to recoup too, so as long as my child needs a nap, I will give it to him!