Please, Do Not Do This To A Child #NAPCAN

The current climate of the world today is, at best, volatile. There is so much hate, anger, killing, and sadness. Worst of all, every second is broadcast through the media 24/7. People are talking in grocery store checkout lines about death tolls rising. Parents on playgrounds are expressing their disgust with a teacher or another parent, or worse, a child. Teenagers are repeating their parents and peers opinions about world politics, presidents, terrorism, the neighbors.

Anymore, it's hard to escape the hate and gossip. This is never more true for children, who are stuck at the feet of an adult or peer.

I beg you, let children be children for as long as possible. Censor their exposure to hate and horrible images. This world is definitely a big shitty place at times, but there is no reason for a child to know it. And trust me, children know WAY more than their given credit for. They also pick up on EVERYTHING. It's how they learn and navigate this big world. Unfortunately, they don't have a filter or self-censor to protect their mind, body and soul from the horrible things they shouldn't know about, yet. 

To drive home my point below is a very dark PSA that at one time was rumored to be banned due to its very blunt nature. It wasn't. It's just that in-your-face honest.

Australia’s National Association for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect, NAPCAN, created this profound and thought provoking 90-second public service announcement, Children See, Children Do, to show the impact your behavior has on a child. 

WARNING: The video starts out innocent enough with a child mimicking an adult walking through a town square talking on a mobile phone, but then the behaviors copied gradually intensify to smoking, racism, animal neglect and even domestic violence. This is not easy to watch, but it will change you.

           

  

Children See, Children, Do.  Make YOUR Influence Positive. PLEASE, do not do this to a child. They are our future, fill them with love, not hate.

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**I received exclusive rights from NAPCAN to use this video on my blog. The Australian government organization, Children’s Guardian was present during filming to ensure children were not exposed to harm in any way. The domestic violence scenes had adults and children filmed separately, then placed together in postproduction. The scene with the child smoking, the cigarette and smoke were added to her shot in post production.

Pediatric Experts Agree, THIS Is The Best Toy To Give A Child

**Today, I'm partnering with the Cubbie Lee Toy Company, to talk about the number one, Pediatric Expert recommended toy.  All opinions are my own.

While doing research for a parenting app I was on the writing team for, I repeatedly came across research showing open-ended toys where the very best toy a child could play with. So what exactly are, open-ended toys? According to, Colleen D. Multari, LMSW, director of early learning at The Early Years Institute in Plainview, NY:

"Open-ended toys result in open-ended play. This type of play can evolve over time while also encouraging children to create and problem-solve as they explore the world around them. Open-ended play with peers encourages social development and social interaction while also developing cognitive skills. Children have to discuss and negotiate how to use the multipurpose toy. The social and developmental gains made by open-ended play far exceed those made by directed play."  

What usually comes to mind first when talking about classic open-ended toys are building blocks and shape sorters. These toys are made up of bright colors and shapes and almost always, gender neutral.







Needless to say, the one toy most all children play with are the stackable blocks made up of many, many different shapes and sizes. In fact, I'm still finding hidden cylinders that doubled as steam rollers under the furniture.

Looking back, if I could only buy my son only two or three toys, it would be the blocks, shape sorter and block puzzles. Oh, he loves his block puzzles! 

Probably the best testimonial I can give to the staying power of open-ended toys, is my son and his best friend, both five-years-old, tearing into the toys I was sent from Cubbie Lee Toys for quality verification. (I review and partner with only the best!) Even at five, these traditional "baby toys" not only still appealed to the boys, but they played with their toy for about fifteen minutes solid, then switched!

If you're about to have a baby, a child's birthday or any other occasion to buy a toy for a child, make sure you consider the importance of classic open-ended toys, before buying the plastic, trendy piece-of-crap that ends up broken in five minutes or less! 

A little about Cubbie Lee Toys, a family owned company, all products are educational, made with sustainable harvest timber and handcrafted to the highest standard. Their toys are made for babies aged 6 months to children aged 5. All toys come with a 30 day no quibble return policy AND a 5 Year Cubbie Lee Toy Company Warranty! 

Want to get more information about Cubbie Lee Toys, the Family behind these sustainable gems or order your child a toy that will last a lifetime, click here!

How To Meditate Your Way To Peace and Calm #MondayMotivation

Ten years ago, a physical therapist recommended meditation as a way to heal and help with pain management after a car accident. So, I gave it a try. Many, many tries.

I've tried focusing on my Breath.

I've tried saying 'ONE' over and over again.

I've read the books.

I've tried guided meditation on my iPhone with an app.

I've tried everything, but my brain won't shut the Phuck up long enough for me to get the job done.

The trouble is, I have such a hard time quieting my anxiety brain long enough to reach the inner peace I hear so much about. I've also been pretty random about meditating. I try for a few weeks, and then I give up when I get frustrated.

Then, I get into a rut in my life where I'm desperate to try anything to find some inner peace, so I try meditating again.

After 10 years, I still haven't given up.

Why?

Because, I've managed to actually pull it off a few times, and just like everyone said, it was amazing.

Between the testimonials and my experience, I will try to conquer meditation for the rest of my life if I have to. There really is something to it, and being that I've declared 2016 the year I push negativity out of my life and fill it with positivity, I'm making meditation a priority. The spiritual and scientific proof is too overwhelming not to.

MANTRA:  I will learn to meditate in 2017

I'd love to know if you meditate, How you do it? Have you been meditating for a long time, do you love it? Are you new to meditation? Are you having the same problems that I am?

5 Tips to Prepare Your Child for a New Baby

It’s an exciting time in your life when you’re preparing to welcome a new baby into the world. It’s a whole new experience when you’re a first-time parent, but what if you have a child or two already? This is another experience altogether. It’s important that while you’re preparing for a new baby that you remember to help your other child or children understand what’s going on. Welcoming another member of the family can be challenging when your little one (or ones) already like things the way they are. Here are five tips to help prepare a child for a new sibling.

1. Answer Questions Simply

Your child may have lots of questions about the baby, so be ready to answer them. Keep the answers simple and phrase them in a way your child will hopefully understand. Be as honest as possible, but you don’t need to go into details. It’s not necessarily time for “the talk” just because your three-year-old asked where babies come from. Let your child know he or she can ask any questions, and you will do your best to answer.

2. Explain What to Expect

Children understand more than many adults give them credit for, so don’t underestimate explaining to your child just what to expect. You can talk about what happens when mommy goes to the hospital (and if your child will be staying with a friend or relative) and what will happen when the baby comes home. This is good to start well in advance so your child knows what’s coming before it actually happens.

3. Involve Your Child in Preparations

If you need to go shopping for baby clothes and other items or ready a nursery for your new little one, let your child help with the preparations. He or she can help pick some of the new clothes the baby will wear or assist (as well as he or she can) in setting up the new baby’s room. Your child might even feel a sense of pride in helping to get everything ready.

4. Introduce the New Baby Soon

As soon as possible after the baby is born, you should introduce your child to the new baby. As an added gesture of love, you can have a special big brother or big sister present from the baby to your child. If possible, maybe get mom, dad, and all children together alone for some bonding time with their new little family.

5. Enlist Your Child’s Help in Caring for the New Baby

You can help your child adjust to the new baby at home by involving them with different tasks to help you. This can be something as simple as sitting with you while you’re feeding the baby or grabbing a diaper during changing time. Your child might feel special by contributing help for mommy and the new baby.

Every child adjusts differently to having a new sibling. Be sure to take the time to still let your child know you love him or her. Take it step by step, be patient, and listen to your child to address any concerns. It might “take some time, but eventually, you all should be able to effectively transition to your new normal

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6 Things All New Mothers Should Know To Survive The First 6-Months

 If only I knew all of this, and followed it, when I was a new mom...

I have no doubt that every mother will agree with me when I say, during pregnancy the only thing you get more of than stretch marks and bad gas, is parenting advice.  Between the always ready to share been-there-done-that mothers, parenting books and online resources, the information available today for new mothers is overwhelming. What's more, you never know what to believe since one book will contradict the next, and what one mother swears by, another mother will insist did not work for her baby. Weeding through all of the advice can be daunting, to say the least.

Looking back, I wish I was given more advice on how to deal with becoming a mother, and less on the three million different ways to rock a baby to sleep. I needed to know about the self-doubt and failures that came along with motherhood, or that having a baby would take a huge toll on my marriage and personal life if I let it. After talking with numerous other mothers, I realized we all struggled with the same issues; things it seemed no one bothered to warn us about in between lessons on feeding, changing and rocking our newborn to sleep.  I've put a list together of the top six things all new mothers to know.  Things we wish we didn't have to learn the hard way.

Can you believe Summer '17 is almost over? Like all summers, it went way too fast. While, spring and summer are my favorite seasons, Autumn isn't really that bad. After all, its a time for football, chili cookouts, boots, cozy sweaters, hoodies and leggings and eleven other things you will never believe!  Keep reading for Autumn fun facts totally worth knowing...

DID YOU KNOW:


1. Levels of testosterone in both men and women are at their highest in the fall. Scientists speculate the surge may be a result of ancient mating instincts (e.g., the fall “rutting season”) or that decreasing daylight somehow triggers it.

2. According to NASA, autumn is “aurora season” because geomagnetic storms are about twice as frequent as the annual average during the fall.

3. Cooler temperatures and less light during the autumn months signals the tree's leaves to stop producing chlorophyll, or the green pigment that helps capture sunlight to power photosynthesis. As the green fades, the leave’s other pigments shine through. 

4. Red and purple leaves are caused by the presence of sugars from sap that is trapped inside of the leaves.

5. The word “harvest” comes from the Old Norse word haust, which means “to gather or pluck.” As people moved to the cities, “harvest” fell out of use and city dwellers began to use “fall of the leaf,” which was shortened to “fall.

6. The shorter days and cooler nights tells the animals to begin storing food in their nest/dens and fat on their body, before winter's death freeze arrives.

7. Research suggests that low levels of vitamin D (the sunshine vitamin) can lead to weight gain during autumn and winter. Lack of vitamin D reduces fat breakdown and triggers fat storage. Take a supplement before even consider sunbathing. It's safer, faster and healthier.

8. Autumn holidays include Labor Day, Grandparents Day, Patriot Day, Autumn Equinox, Columbus Day, Halloween, Veterans Day, Remembrance Day and Thanksgiving.

9. Each autumn, monarch butterflies migrate from the U.S. to Mexico and some parts of Southern California. They fly at speeds of 12 to 25 miles per hour. Monarchs are the only insect that migrates during the winter to a warmer climate...  2,500 miles away!

10. The autumn equinox, or the 'First Day Of Fall' signals the aurora borealis--the Northern Lights--geomagnetic storms are twice as likely to occur during the fall due to cool evening weather.

11. The pumpkin was first named, Pepon, which means “large melon, by the Greeks,”

FYI: How a Pumpkin grows!

What's your favorite thing about Autumn, Fall, Harvest?

Creating Balance In Your Parenting Partnership

NOTE: This is the conclusion to yesterday's post, The Mistake So Many First Time Parents Make, where I shared a back and forth email between myself and a reader exposing the ugly truths behind control-freak (first-time) moms, and dads either not sure what to do or are getting away with doing the minimum. Today's post is a continuation of the email exchange, and the magic that happens when you communicate with your parenting partner to create a better balance.

Now, where we left off yesterday was me telling Kate, "It's important to be open with Will about feeling overwhelmed, but also know you take on too much by your own accord. 

This is what happened when Kate talked to her husband: 

KATE: Guess what?! Hubby is currently upstairs putting George to sleep for the first time... Fingers crossed.

ME: Yaaaaaaaaaay!!! Bravo. Small steps. I'm so happy for you!! Let me know how it goes!

KATE: 8:08pm, George is asleep, kitchen is cleaned up and I am sitting on the couch!!! Heaven! 

I look back to the first year of parenting where I was a scared, control freak first-time parent. I was so full of anxiety, I couldn't sit down. I was constantly rushing around doing one thing or another to ensure my son was well fed, cared for and in a sterile safe environment. Then, at the end of the day, I would plop down on the couch exhausted, resenting the hell out of my husband for not helping me. 

He insisted he would help if he knew what to do or I didn't bitch at him for doing things wrong. He also expressed frustration about me constantly standing over him telling when and what to do with his son because of the, "routine".

It's true, that routine was everything to me and having everything just right was important to me, too. Even though the new-parent anxiety was plentiful enough to keep me on the move, mentally and physically I was falling apart. 

What's sad is that my husband is an exceptional father, and fought me every step of the way to prove that. I just struggled so much with how his ways were not like mine, and at the time, I thought my ways were the best. I was such a bitch! (Sorry, baby. I love you!)

Please learn from me on this one, if you resent your parenting partner because you carry the majority of the load, take a look at the reason why. Is it because you won't let your partner do anything? Or when you do, you critique everything to the point of berating their parenting ways?  Or is your partner a lazy shit that needs a fire lit under their ass?

Regardless, if you are worn out and need help and it's sitting on the couch in the other room, speak up, step back, delegate. Something. Find a way to open the line of communication, like Kate did, to create a better parenting balance. Trust me, your entire family will benefit from you relaxing a little. 

7 Stereotypical Moms You Meet During Back-To-School

With back-to-school in full-force, I have been reintroduced to a few of those stereotypical moms I want to throat punch. You know those moms who take it to the top to prove something, but exactly what, no one knows? (Think: Bad Moms Movie)

I know you should never say never. Especially, when it comes to anything related to parenting, however, the following Seven Types of Mom I sincerely hope I never become.

The PTA Princess- You know the perfect, perky, all smiles Pinterest Princess bouncing around in yoga pants jacked up on Starbucks. That chick, I will never be. More power to her, because someone needs to make perfect Minion cupcakes for the Bake Sale.

The Soccer Socialite- One place you will never catch my ass is hovering over my child in sports. I want him to love and excel at sports, in his own way on his own time. While I'll encourage and support him, I will never push him. It's his life. Not mine. I also have no desire to get in a snack rotation pissing contest. I've heard horror stories of soccer mom riots over a shitty snack.

The Tech Tyrant- Technology is the future. No freaking way am I going to restrict my child from it. Yes, I know the "child experts" attribute a slew of mental and developmental issues to tech-time. Yes, I know they warn that video games can turn children into psychopaths, but...well... NEWS FLASH: elementary school can do that too.

There are some brilliant educational apps available, and I love them. I attribute a part of my son's early vocabulary burst, hand-eye coordination, and problem-solving skills and flawless dance moves to educational apps and YouTube Kids videos.  (I don't care, tell me to burn in hell, I'm not sorry!) TECH RULES!

The Blind Blamer: There is nothing I can't stand more than the mom who blames everyone else's child for their child's behavior. WAKE UP! Your child is not perfect. Kids act crazy. ALL KIDS! So, before you go blindly blaming a playdate for your child's moody behavior or for biting, "when she's never done that before", shut up and see your child for what she is, normal! Not, perfect. No kid is.

The Holistic Hippie- While I admit I sometimes sway this way, I will never hug the tree completely for one simple reason, FOOD IS GOOD! I am all for dodging hormones, GMOs, processed foods and refined sugar, but I'm not going to go all nutty about it. A life without McDonald's fries, Chick'fil-A chicken, Taco Bell Crunch wraps and Movie Theater popcorn just ain't livin'! (Sorry food allergy people. I'm lactose intolerant, so I know how it sucks to miss out on this stuff.) But for the parents out there forcing their child to eat black bean cupcakes when all the other kids get to eat Walmart cupcakes is, well, shitty.  No it's not organic and sugar-free, but seriously, get over yourself, one bloody cupcake is not going to make your child grow a third ball. Let the little guy eat cake once in a while!

Society's Sweetheart- This is one type of mom I refuse to be. I can't be her. I tried to mother according to society's rules and ideas, but the onslaught of pediatric opinions, medical journals, parenting books, forums and the latest "expert advice" were impossible to keep up with. Not to mention, rarely worked for my newborn. Thankfully, I stopped trying to be Society's Sweetheart Mom and followed my own Mother's Instinct. What a difference that made. Suck it society! It turns out, I know WAY more about my child than you.

The Crazed Competitor- I am fiercely competitive in sport and challenges, however, when it comes to mom-pissing-contests, I'm out. I have no desire to be the room mom, drive the best SUV, have the bounciest ass, or brag about providing the most organic locally sourced snack. If your kid beats mine in a race, cool, it happens. As far as I know, The Mom of the Year is not a real contest. Not that I would want to win. Competing with another mother is stupid.

So what type of mom am I?

The MomMe I try to be the best mother I can by being, Me. I love my son with all of my heart, spoil him rotten, but also am firm when needed. I encourage him to grow and challenge himself daily. Instilling  a strong faith in God, kindness, love, understanding, openness and humility is my mom-mission. I'm not perfect. I screw up daily. I slip and cuss in front of my son, let him play Lego Star Wars on PS4, have really crappy days and totally understand when he does too. I'm laid back and that's my parenting style. Neither of us is in a race or competition at this life thing, so enjoying each moment is my daily mantra. Being a mother is the greatest gift of my life. Letting mommy-wars, society, insecurities and pissing contest stop me from being my best MomME is pure dumbassery.

TIP: Be your own kind of MomMe and be proud of it!

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What The Parenting Books Are Afraid To Say

There's no doubt about it, the parenting books seem to leave out the scariest parts of parenting.  I get it, freaking out a pregnant chick is not the best thing to do, but making a first-time parent think parenting is easy if you follow the steps in the book, is crap too!

In an effort to do the job the parenting books won't, and in honor of top 10 Tuesday, below are 10 Things The Parenting Books Are Afraid To Tell You.