First Time Mom and Dad

Thanksgiving Dad Jokes That Are So Good, It's Annoying

Would it even be Thanksgiving without family dysfunction heavily crop-dusted by terrible dad jokes and farts?

Below are 10 of the most annoyingly good Thanksgiving Day Dad Jokes and a few Knock-Knock jokes Turkey Day wouldn't be complete without!

Thanksgiving Day Dad Jokes

1. Q. Why did the pie go to the dentist?

A. It needed a filling.

2. Q.What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?

A. Lucky

3. Q. Why don’t turkeys trust each other?

A. Too much fowl play

4. Q. Why did the cranberry blush?

A. It saw the turkey dressing.

5. Q. Did you hear about the scarecrow who won first prize?

A. It was outstanding in its field.

6. Q. What sound does a turkey's phone make?

A. "Wing, wing."

7. Q. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?

A. Quack, quack!

8. Q. What do you call a running turkey?

A. Fast food

9. Q. Why did the mashed potatoes cross the road?

A. To get to the other sides

10. Q. What does a turkey give thanks for on Thanksgiving?

A. Vegetarians

Thanksgiving Day Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Honeydew

Honeydew who?

Honeydew we have more cranberry sauce?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Anita.

Anita who?

Anita bigger pair of pants after all that food!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Tamara.

Tamara who?

Tamara is Black Friday, let’s go shopping!

Happy Thanksgiving, and remember: It's not only you... It's all of us and Jimmy too...

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Thanksgiving Humor, Jokes and Dysfunction That Will Make Your Family Seem Normal

To get you in the spirit of family fun and of course, heaps of dysfunction, here are a few Thanksgiving day laughs to get you going...

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Try These Super Simple Ways To Beat Holiday Weight Gain Before It Beats You

I LOVE the holidays... the food, family and friend togetherness, presents, cozy weather, and of course, the traditions. And by "traditions" I mean, Halloween candy, Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas cookies.

What I don't love is how every year at the end of December some asshole elf sneaks into my closet and shrinks my fu*king clothes.

In other words... It's time for a 30/30 Challenge!

So what is the 30/30?

Spending 30 days (in a row) being mindful of your health and physical activity.

Why do it?

In 30 Days you can lower heart attack risk, lose weight, add years to your life, sleep better and of course, better your overall health and mood. Don't believe me? Here's the actual clip from the Doctors Show:

How much will it cost?

NOT A DAMN THING!

I love that the 30/30 Challenge requires no gym membership, diet or personal trainer screaming at you. No excuses. Just you and a short 30-day goal focusing on a problem area or areas.

Just think... in two weeks you could be sleeping better, reducing your cholesterol and chances for a heart attack, losing weight, and become a healthier, happier person. How could you not want to at least try?

Where to start?

For a FULL mind, Body and soul makeover, do the 30/30 walking challenge. It's the ultimate 2019 weightloss resolution jumpstart. All you have to do is walk for 30-minutes for 30-days in row.

The key is to find a way easily incorporate 30-minutes of walking into your day- You can walk twice for 15-minutes or 3 times for 10 if that's eaiser. That will help make the walking stick after the 30/30 is over.

TIPS:

Take public transportation to work? Leave 15 minutes early and walk to the next stop or station. (I know, for those non-morning people this is a stupid suggestion)
At lunch walk 15 minutes away from your desk, eat, then walk back--maybe even the long way back.
On the weekends, go explore a new (historic) town or nature trail with the family.
New mothers on maternity leave, make it a point that this challenge is CRUCIAL for you. Go for a walk by yourself every evening when your partner gets home. Of course, you can take the baby, but getting out for some alone time will kill two birds with one stone for you!
Only need a couple things from the store? If one is close enough, walk there!
Walk the kids to school for the month.
On rainy days, clean or organize a closet for 30 minutes, better yet, go to an indoor mall for some retail therapy--Again, kill two birds with one stone!
Go walk through an outdoor mall.
For a week straight, walk out of your front door and take a different street or path and see what you find!
Download an awesome mystery ebook to listen to while you walk. TIP: Only let yourself listen to the book when walking, this might get those walks stretched out well past 30 minutes.

Once you decide to commit to the 30/30 Challenge, tell as many people as you can that you are doing this to add accountability. Get a support group to help encourage and hold you accountable! YOU CAN DO THIS! It's just 30 minutes for thirty days. It's not hard, or an on going commitment. This is a challenge that you know you can do.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

Don't need a full body workout, but have problem areas? Try a 30-day targeted challenge for but, thighs or abs. Below are a few of my favorites!

If you want to target more than your butt and core, the following 30-day workouts will give you all over results, inspire you to work out every day and only take a minute a day!

Want a Brazilian Butt? Try this:

Thighs keeping you down? Try this:

Do your abs make you sad? Try this:

Are your arms causing your self-esteem harm? Do this:

Butt AND Gut have you in a rut? Never fear, help is here!

Looking for a whole-body 30-day tone every ounce challenge plan? Look no further...

If you already have a workout routine, here's a more advanced program that starts Day-1 with higher reps.

or, this one:

Here is a four-month plan you can follow each month, or combine into one month:

If you have injuries or physical limitations, and none of the above will work, here is a 30-day food challenge. If it's too restrictive for you, break it up and try to avoid one-or-two foods for the day or week...

Don't forget to Pin or print your favorite challenges!

These Halloween hairstyles for the whole family will scare, mystify, and even melt a few hearts.

Halloween Hair Styles For The Whole Family

I'm so thankful for those crafty people out there who not only figure out how to create these styles, but make it look easy, too!

Create an adorable kitty cat face bun with felt, hot glue, and bobby pins!

Start with a ponytail, then wrap the hair around a mummy, spider, doll... you get the point.

Turn your child's hair into a spooky spiderweb. Create asymmetrical parts and tie off with small rubber bands as you go. The clip plastic spider rings around the rubber bands.

This is a super cute bun style that could work for many holidays and parties!

Homemade toll hair!

Wrap wire around a headband then tie strips of tulle to the headband and bring everything together at the top!

Here's a fun last-minute school or outing idea!

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Super fun and easy HALLOWEEN Makeup For The Whole Family

Whether you're going for super scary, super cute, or super slutty, these Pro Tips For Party Perfect Halloween Hair + Makeup are super easy to pull off. And fun too! Just make sure you use safe, fresh makeup so you don't look scarier after you wash your face!

HALLOWEEN MAKEUP

These makeup ideas are so cool and so easy!

1. Considering the mermaid or reptile look this year? Use a cheap pair of Dollar Store fishnet stockings to get the scales you've always wanted!

2. Take your kitty cat costume to the next level with a big-mouth Cheshire Cat look. Draw the outline above and below your natural lip line and then fill in the big teeth!

3. Want a more menacing cat mouth? Same as above: use your upper lip line and chin as a guide for an open mouth!

4. Want big eyes? Use white to draw an exaggerated outline under your lower lash for cartoon eyes, and finish the look with thick eyeline and glue fake eyelashes along the thick black eyeliner line!

5. Need to get a full Spider-Man face? Use liquid eyeliner to make precise lines that last! You could honestly create any face mask thanks to the endless range of liquid eyeliner colors available today!The possibilities are endless.

6. For the crazy eye look, without wearing irritating contacts, incorporate design on eyelids. Hold closed for photos and shock factor.

ABOVE ALL!!! Make sure the makeup you use is safe for little faces. Crappy makeup can end a Halloween before it starts.

Now that the basics are out of the way, here are a few more Halloween makeup tutorials that look complicated but are easy to recreate!

1. Double Vision: Draw your eyes and lips under your eyes and lips for a super wild look that will get you plenty of double takes!

2. A little more liquid eyeline ideas... Oooohhhhh Cheetah!

3. A Skeleton perfect for boys and girls!

4. Spoooooooky half skeleton face

5. Need a look that you can go from work to party, fast? Turn your hand into a fast face mask.

#CraftsForKids DIY Fall Family family fun

15 Fall + Halloween Crafts For Kiddos

Welp, there goes summer. Every year of my life seems to always go faster than the last. Do you just blink in your 80's and have a birthday? Shhhheeeeesh!

To kick off the fall madness, I’ve rounded up 15 fun and festive family crafts to get you in the spirit of the season! BONUS: These crafty ideas are super budget-friendly and simple enough for the kids to join in on the fun.

If you are looking for adult fall fun... check out these five-star chili recipes.

Are you ready for some cheap and easy fall fun that will make you feel like a fabulous parent?? Here you go:

1. Q-tip Fall Tree Craft bundle a bunch of Q-tips together and voila! Instant paint brush perfect for even the littlest of hands.