My baby is losing his hair in a funny pattern!

I knew that babies lose hair after birth, but I thought it was all at once! It turns out, thanks no longer passing hair growth hormones, a phase called “telogen” sets in, causing a newborn’s hair to fall out, and for some baby’s all at once! The phase is immediately followed up with a new phase of hair growth.

For us, Oliver lost all the hair on the top of his head in the first 4 weeks. Then his hair stopped falling out. Now in the last week (week 9), this perfect line of hair loss around his head has formed. What got me confused is why the top, then the line around the sides, but nothing else?

Right Side

Left Side

Top Side

Ollie was born with a full head of brown hair. The new hair growth appears to be a light brown to blonde color, but who knows until it all falls out, then grows back. I just hope the cycle happens sooner than later. I wish it would have all fallen out at the same time.

I found out a newborn's hormone levels drop right after birth, which can cause the hair loss. The same applies to new moms. So if you find yourself going bald too... Good News, that's normal! > ; o

Some babies lose their hair in such a way that it never looks like they lost any at all.  The old hair falls out as the new hair grows back. So not all babies go bald, just like some are born with hair some without. Babies lose their hair in different patterns and stages from the next, and most times it grows back a different color than they were born with.

To care for baby’s hair during this phase try the following:

Don’t wash your baby’s hair every day. Particularly with newborns, there’s just no need. Aim for a quick shampoo when you bathe your baby, which doesn’t need to be more often than a couple times a week.

Be extra gentle during shampoos. Normal washing can stress hair follicles and speed up hair loss or breakage.

Detangle after bath gently with a very soft brush wide-toothed comb.

Avoid headbands or ponytails that pull your baby’s hair back too tightly, which can damage it.

Loosing the Postpartum baby weight.

I nearly titled this post DON'T GO IN THERE!! "There" being the fitting room, especially with clothes that are two sizes too small! I went shopping today and came home battered and abused by too small clothes sizes and fitting room mirrors. And it was all my stupid fault! 2 1/2 months postpartum I am in the strangest spot in regard to clothing. I'm too small (Thank God) for my maternity, but still too big (unfortunately) for my prebaby clothes.

I have some serious weight loss to make happen before the summer months arrive if I plan to fit into any of my existing summer outfits. I'm still breastfeeding so the college diet is out--crash dieting, cigarettes and caffeine. My only choice is to loose weight the old fashion way-healthy diet and exercise. This of course will include making wise nutrition choices, not over eating, try not to cheat... too much, and exercise. I'm human I never hold myself to ridiculous goals, cheating has to happen to stay on course. Crap false goals are the fastest way to sabotage the master plan and end up throwing a huge fatty fatty boom boom pity party.

I'll admit since delivery I have not made "nutritious choices" so to speak, I have just eaten what ever was available and sounded good. Sometimes that meant pizza, Mexican and Chinese take out for consecutive meals. I certainly wish I had made better choices, but with a new born and wicked sleep deprivation the fact that I even remembered to eat is a miracle.

I made a huge mistake today trying on clothes I really knew wouldn't fit, but secretly hoped magically would. Please learn from my mistakes, if you find yourself in the store in need of clothes please don't lie to yourself, get the size that will fit and don't worry about the number. I was so wrapped in the numbers that I ended up leaving defeated without clothes. Now that my pity party is over and I have a master plan to lose the baby weight, I'm going back to the store to buy a pair of work pants and weekend jeans that fit nicely regardless of size. Had I not been a chump I would have done that in the first place.

I learned an important lesson today... I am not a twenty something anymore trying to squeeze into a size too small. I am a mother now and a proud one at that. My body was a casualty of pregnancy war and I will have it back one day, providing I stick to the plan of healthy diet and exercise. So what if I'm a pudge right now? I have a beautiful healthy baby boy to show for it!

Going back to work after maternity leave.

Going back to work after maternity leave in one word, SUCKS! In two words, REALLY SUCKS! I thought I would be glad to go back to work. Surely a stay at home mom I am not? WRONG! I spent the entire day wondering and worrying about my baby. The sad part is that he was with dad, not even a daycare!

A few years ago one of my coworkers had his first child, a daughter. When his wife went back to work they had to take his daughter their church run daycare. He told me when he dropped her off he cried. I laughed at him. He went to visit her on every lunch break he could for the first month or so. I thought the man was a freak with some serious separation anxiety. I realize now he was just being a father, a really good caring father. I know this because I could not wait for lunch to come so I could race home to my lil guy.

In America we only get 6-8 weeks off for maternity. It seems criminal compared to the rest of the world. I went back after 9 weeks and it feels WAY too early. A friend of mine in Australia emailed me to let me know she decided to go back to work after 12 months instead of 6. At first I thought that I would be ready for sure by 6 months and by 12 I'd be going crazy. Now I'm not so sure!

I love being a mother so much more than I ever dreamed. I'm not ready to go back to work yet and that's the bottom line. Unfortunately unless I win the lotto or a publishing house calls to say we love you, I have no choice. I couldn't help but think of how many other women went back to work this week. I'm sure I'm in great company with those women and as hard as it is to believe, in time I will be happier to be at work than a stay at home mom. If nothing else, for my sanity I certainly hope that's the case...

Precious MOMents

It is just amazing to me how much peace my son brings me in the simplest moments. I have spent the day solo with Ollie and have been filled with so much joy. Now that we have found a nice daily groove together our days are so wonderful. Here is a list of my very favorite mom-ents.

1. When I walk into his room in the morning and he smiles really big when he hears my voice.

2. Getting my lil guy to smile and "tell me stories" (coo) in the long check out line at the grocery. Everything and everyone melts away... I could stand there forever listening to his stories.

3. Smelling and folding his tiny little clothes.

4. Kissing his delicate baby toes.

5. When my son is napping peacefully in my arms.

6. Playtime brings us both so many smiles and laughs.

7. When I'm bathing my baby he just stares at me with a content smile while I soap him up. It’s our time.

8. Saying “nite-nite” prayers with my baby.

9. Rocking Ollie to sleep, his soft sweet lavender smelling head tucked under my neck.

10. Leaning over Ollie's crib after putting him down for the night, staring in amazement that he is MY perfect beautiful baby boy!

11. Sneaking in to check on him for the 10^th time and listening to his beautiful breath.

I love being a mommy! I bitched the whole way through pregnancy and I would probably bitch all the way through it again, but my son was so more than worth ever single minute! I have never in my life known so much peace and happiness.

I delivered my brain with the baby!

“Pregnancy Brain” was my constant excuse for forgetting events and conversations I had during pregnancy. Now, somehow after delivery I am even dumber!  I know, I didn’t think is was possible either? I just apologize and tell people that I delivered my brain with the baby. I thought “Pregnancy Brain” was bad, but I have quickly come to realize that when I was pregnant at least I had a brain! 

Since delivery I have lost both my short and long-term memory. I can walk away from a conversation without any recollection of what was talked about. I am not even sure what I had for breakfast! While I think it is mostly due to the lack of sleep, I’m still incredibly embarrassed and annoyed by my current state if mindlessness!

I forget when I fed the baby, whether or not I changed him after feeding him, I forget to call people back, pay bills and if I don’t make a list before going to the store I will not buy one thing I went in after! Ladies, it’s hard to admit this but… I have gone into Target and only spent $10!  I nearly cried when I walked out with a Shirt from the clearance rack and a bottle of water. Dear God, I feel like I sinned against womanhood! I used to walk into Target and spend $100 before aisle 10!

I joke about being a post delivery dingbat, but it has REALLY been an embarrassing situation.  I have had people tell me that they met me during my pregnancy but I cannot remember for the life of me being at the event let alone meeting them there! I lose things all of the time. What has become really frustrating is that I cannot find the words I need to tell my husband where something is or what I need, I just go blank.  Oh I hate being stupid of front of him!

I know my lack of sleep is the main culprit here, but I really think some sort of hormone is also to blame. A friend of mine said it was because I am constantly focused on my baby and what he needs.  I can kind of see how that could be true as well.  All I know is that I am a full on scatterbrain and it’s beyond annoying. I have been told this is only temporary and that my mind will return sooner than later. I need “sooner” to mean 8am Monday morning because I have to go back to work this week and with the brain I am trying to pass off…  I should be unemployed by the end of the week!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to each one you and your families! I hope this is your best yet. I know for me this Easter is so very special because I am a mother and now I have my own little family to celebrate with!

Hugs to you!

The Domestic Goddess

Lately the one complaint I hear the most from my new mom friends is that they feel bad for not being able to care for their house and partner well as they would like to. I know the thought has crossed my mind in the last two months more than not. I have just come to realize that a Domestic Goddess I am not.

I sit on the couch, feeding baby, look around at the dust and clutter and make grand plans to do something about it as soon as I finish the feeding. I get up put baby in a docking station and go to start a load of laundry. Then baby cries. Then the phone rings. Then I start the laundry. Then I start to pick up the clutter. Then Oliver needs to be docked in a new station. Then I go back to picking up the clutter. Then Ollie needs to be changed. Then I try to get him to take a nap. 30 minutes later he’s asleep and I attempt to eat. This cycle repeats in multiple ways everyday. I never have more than a solid 20 minutes to myself. Being a Domestic Goddess is just not going to happen with that kind of a timeframe!

A couple of weeks ago I made a goal of cleaning one room aday. I decided that I could make one room each day my focus. I would work on cleaning, dusting and washing the floors of the room with my few minutes in between caring for Ollie. This plan actually worked to get the house clean each week. The problem was that by the end of the week only one room was clean, the one I did on that day. I never felt like the whole house was clean.

I just do not see how it is possible to get everything that needs to be cared for around the house in a day well cared for. I used to have high hopes of getting my to-do list completed each day. Now my To-do list just has one thing on it, Take care of Oliver. I have come to the rationalization that this time in my life is meant to be spent caring for my son and with the left over time, care for myself. My husband and the house have to care for themselves! Worrying about all of the stuff I should be doing is a waste of time, because I just don’t have the time to do it all.

I realized that I was the only one freaking out about everything not being in its place. My husband doesn’t even know that things have an actual place. I try to keep the floors and the kitchen clean, the cracks, crevices and constant flow of laundry are just going to have to wait until I have the time. When I get overwhelmed by it all I remind myself that, This To Shall Pass! My inability to be a Domestic Goddess is temporary. I will be back to running a tight ship before I know it. And so will you…

Mommy Fail #4 No Infant Tylenol/Pain Reliever

Oh, this fail may be my worst yet… NO, it is!  I was warned that at our 2-month well baby check up we would get vaccinations.  That warning came with instructions to give baby Tylenol if he gets fussy.  I heard the words, I just didn’t register the fact that I didn’t have any Tylenol. 

It gets worse… When the doctor told us all of the side effects of the vaccinations he as well told us to give him Tylenol if he gets upset or runs a fever.  Then the nurse comes in to give him the vaccinations.  She, as well, tells us the side effects and mentions the ever-popular Baby Tylenol. Again, I heard the words, but not the warning I guess. Hell, I don’t know what I was hearing or thinking.  I DON’T OWN BABY TYLENOL!  Why didn’t I register that in my head?

Ollie got his shots like a champ!  He cried of course, calmed down easily and passed out. Fast forward to two hours later… Ollie wakes up from his nap screaming bloody murder.  At first I thought it was because he was really hungry.  Not so much!  Poor guy tried to eat but he was clearly way to uncomfortable to latch on to eat.  So now I have a hungry baby in pain.  SHIT SHIT SHIT!  I pull off his clothes and see that his leg is red and warm in the injection site, luckily the other leg was fine. I call the doctor hoping there is something I can do to fix this with out the damn Tylenol.  I was told to put a cool compress (washcloth) on his leg and to go to the store and get the damn baby pain reliever. 

Holy Shit, I drove like a freaking maniac!  I cut through a parking lot to avoid a light, I cussed at every idiot in my way, I was road rage at its finest hour.  When I got home I found dad and Ollie calm and quiet in the nursery.  As soon as Ollie saw me he let out a scream.  Oh, it broke my heart!  I gave him the miracle pain reliever and rocked him, careful not to put any pressure on his legs.  He finally calmed down enough to eat and then passed back out.  Poor guy slept from 3pm until 7am.  I had to wake him up for the first few feedings until he did it on his own at midnight. Thankfully, by morning he was all better. He only needed the one dose of pain reliever.

PLEASE LEARN FROM ME ON THIS ONE!  If you do not have any infant pain reliever, GO GET IT!  If you are expecting, GO GET IT! Own it or face the consequences I did.  

2-month Well Baby Check-up

Today we had our routine 2-month “well-baby” check up. I get excited for these check ups. Its like we are going in for a test of how awesome my baby is doing, and since he is over the top awesome, it’s a chance for me to show off my baby and be told,” yep, you are right! Your baby is the most wonderful fantastic little guy to ever grace our doors!” Ok, so I say that and they nod their heads in agreement. They can clearly see that I am “one of those moms” who is psycho and will smack you if you do not agree.

The whole check-up was completely routine, weight- 13.2 pounds. 23.5 inches long. Both weight and length put us in the 75th percentile on the baby chart. which means if the doctor lined up 100 babies born on the same day as Ollie, He would be 75^th in line of height and weight. My doctor said the scale is really made up from thousands of kids around the country.

I like getting a gauge of where Ollie is developmentally, but the percentile chart can be a big load of wank too. I think Oliver is in a massive growth spurt right now. He is eating 5.5 ounces of booby milk every three hours like clock work, even at night! Then the other day slept all day and night only waking for feedings. I think he is 75^th today because he grew more than the next kid this week. Don’t get me wrong I am stoked to know that Oliver is developing well and my milk is more than enough to keep him on track.

Next the doc came in, looked him over and said what I wanted to hear, you know, about how awesome he was! Then he dropped a possible bomb. Ollie still has swelling in his legs and sac, which could possibly mean he has a hernia. It’s still too early to tell but it’s something we have to keep a close eye on. He’s just my lil’ breech boy, I know he will be ok.

After the doc was finished checking him out I pulled out my long list of questions…

1. Frustrating Gas. Poor guy will wake from a deep sleep scream out, fart and pass back out… 5 times a day! Doc said it really is normal in newborns. They just are not sure how to let the gas pass peacefully so they fight it. He also asked me if I had cut Dairy out of my diet. (dairy proteins can pass through breast milk) I have except for cheese… I suck! I have even gone so far as to start drinking almond milk and eating coconut milk yogurts. I’m freaking trying over here! He gave us some special gas drops and said give him 3 at the start of the early morning feeding and see how he does.
2. Belly Sleeping- I told him Ollie loved it, and slept really well on his tummy. Oh man did I get the “I’m so disappointed in you look.” Apparently belly sleeping is Super Bad! He said it increases the chance of SIDS/Cot death by 50%, there is no benefits to it and if he gets used to it he will sleep like that when he can roll over. Hubs has always been against me putting Ollie on his belly. Needless to say, thanks to my big mouth Ollie is on his back for good.
3. Vitamins- I asked if I should be giving some to Ollie directly in addition to my prenatal, I’m passing to him through the breast he should be getting vitamin D and iron. There are drops you can buy in the store for infants that have both in them.
4. Red mark on back of head- Lil man has a small circle on the back of his head and a small line along his neck that look like a bruise. Good news! It’s a cluster of capillaries that will fade over time. I was afraid it was from laying on his head for too long.
5. Cradle Cap- Last week Ollie had a dry flakey scalp. One of my favorite Mommy Friends told me to try massaging Olive Oil into his scalp then brushing out the flakes with a toothbrush. I did it 2 nights in a row before bath and his head has been great since. The doc said he looked good and couldn't even tell there had been any dry skin in the first place. Also, once the cradle CRAPOLA is cured it rarely comes back. So, yay!

Last we got 3 rounds of vaccinations… UGH! I feel so bad for the guy. He got two shots,one in each thigh and an oral one. He had a bit of a delayed reaction but oncehe felt the burn he screamed and I nearly cried too! About a minute later he was calm and 5 minutes latersleeping. I thought it was goingto be SO much worse… it was.. stay tuned for toimorrows Mommy fail...

Our next Well Baby check-up along with another round of vaccinationsis in two months. I hate the vaccinations so much for Ollie. I hate them for me, I feel like devilmom holding him down. As much as I love showing off how awesome Ollie is, I’mno longer looking forward to these appointments. Ahh the joys of motherhood…

Goodbye Narcissistic Super Mum High Horse. Hello less anxiety and happy marriage!

Yesterday’s Blog, “Mother Knows Best” was all about ME!  All about how I knew what was best for MY baby.  How I knew what MY baby needed, and how I needed to give it to him since not a sole was nearly as capable as I was.  I admitted to being a shit for it, I know my faults and will be the first to own up to them! What I didn’t really realize was that it is not about ME, it’s about Oliver.  Thanks to my wise and wonderful readers I realize how very wrong I am about knowing “everything” he needs to be happy.  Thank you to Anonymous, Kitten and Kiwi Mum for the wise words and well altogether Smack Down off my high horse!

The first slap came from Anonymous…

 “…You need to let your son be cared for by others so that he learns many different ways to be soothed, not just your special way. If you don't, your anxiety is going to be sky-high when you aren't taking care of him full-time anymore. You need to see that he is ok with other people caring for him... THEIR way. Also, please think about the way your actions are affecting your husband. You are essentially telling him that he isn't being a good father. And you aren't allowing your son to bond with dad in their own special way.”

Then Kitten…

“…Other people will have to take care of him and they will need to have learned how to do so. If you're always the one to settle him, you'll be the only one ABLE to settle him and then what happens when you need your mother to baby-sit one night while you and your husband have dinner together? He'll flip out...”

And dear Kiwi Mum…

“I found that if I asked dad to show me something he did well, then I could work the conversation around to something that I did well for bubs that maybe he could try next time, without insulting or offending him. 
That's just my 2 cents anyways :-) Being a mum is hard work - who would have thought that not being super mum would be the hardest part!”

Thank you all so much for helping me to realize that my high horse attitude of I can do it better than anyone else was wrong and well kind of pure narcissistic crap-ola!

I have learned three important things from each one of you that will no doubt make my life and that of my family SO much better!

1. My husband does deserve to feel like a good dad and find his own way, which may possibly be better than mine in some ways.  (SO hard to imagine but whatever…  What?  I already admitted to being a shithead!)  He is a great dad and the very last thing I want to do is make him feel like he is not.

2. My mother, family and friends want to care for Ollie and the time will come when I will desperately need them to as well.  If I don’t let them sort him out now it will be MUCH harder when he older he gets. And again, they may/probably will teach me a thing or two.

3.   I also need to back up myself!  I do need time to myself, anxiety free.  I will never achieve that if I don’t learn to trust other people with my son.  It’s hard now because he is so new and shiny and fun to play with and cuddle!  I don’t want to share and I do enjoy feeling like “Super mum!”  but not at the expense of Ollie’s ultimate happiness and sense of security.

From this day forward I promise to share my son, lighten up, get off my “Super mum” high horse and most of all. Let Go and Let… family and friends!  

Mother Knows Best!

I am just going to start by saying, I have always been a huge control freak and have issues with delegation, I have always been of the mind that it is easier for me to just do “it” myself, what ever "It" may be. That being said, I am an EPIC control freak when it comes to my son. I'm not going to even try to lie about the fact that I am positive I can care for my son better than anyone else. Yes, dad included… sorry dad.

I had heard of the whole "lioness" attitude a mother gets for her child, but I had no clue how hardcore it really was until I became a lioness myself. I keep trying to stand by and let my husband do his “daddy” thing, but I just cannot keep my mouth shut! I know what my son needs, how he wants to be held and how to quiet him in seconds and if daddy is not doing it right I tell him so! I know it may be rude to not let my husband find his own daddy methods for the madness, BUT if I know how to fix the problem then why the hell should I wait to fix it?

My shithead-ness knows no limits... I had my mom come over to help with Ollie the other day and when she wasn’t rocking him to sleep right I just went in took him from her and did it myself. In the moment it was all about calming my son and getting him to sleep. It was after the moment when I saw the hurt in my mom’s eyes that I realized how bitchy I was. It’s just so damn hard to stand by and let my son cry or fuss or need anything, especially when I know how to appease him!

I know it’s a fine line and that I need to ease up and chill out, but its rediculously hard for me! Honestly, I just don’t see why I have too. Again, if I know how to sort out my baby, why can’t I? I am trying my very best to let dad do his thing, and now my mom too (she did manage to keep me and my 2 siblings alive after all) but with everyone else… What can I say, it’s a process. ; )