Going back to work after maternity leave.

April 11, 2012
Going back to work after maternity leave in one word, SUCKS! In two words, REALLY SUCKS! I thought I would be glad to go back to work. Surely a stay at home mom I am not? WRONG! I spent the entire day wondering and worrying about my baby. The sad part is that he was with dad, not even a daycare!

A few years ago one of my coworkers had his first child, a daughter. When his wife went back to work they had to take his daughter their church run daycare. He told me when he dropped her off he cried. I laughed at him. He went to visit her on every lunch break he could for the first month or so. I thought the man was a freak with some serious separation anxiety. I realize now he was just being a father, a really good caring father. I know this because I could not wait for lunch to come so I could race home to my lil guy.

In America we only get 6-8 weeks off for maternity. It seems criminal compared to the rest of the world. I went back after 9 weeks and it feels WAY too early. A friend of mine in Australia emailed me to let me know she decided to go back to work after 12 months instead of 6. At first I thought that I would be ready for sure by 6 months and by 12 I'd be going crazy. Now I'm not so sure!

I love being a mother so much more than I ever dreamed. I'm not ready to go back to work yet and that's the bottom line. Unfortunately unless I win the lotto or a publishing house calls to say we love you, I have no choice. I couldn't help but think of how many other women went back to work this week. I'm sure I'm in great company with those women and as hard as it is to believe, in time I will be happier to be at work than a stay at home mom. If nothing else, for my sanity I certainly hope that's the case...
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