My Best 5 Tips For Training Your Dragon... er... Toddler.

Yesterday, I got a question on the First Time Mom And Dad Facebook Page from a friend and reader that read: I need some mommy help. My little one is getting to a mean stage. He is taking toys and pushing kids and generally just being a douchebag. What can I do to correct this behavior. If it gets to be too much I intervene and explain to him that he's being mean and needs to be nice or he gets a timeout. It doesn't seem to be helping. Is this just a phase? Please help me.

First of all, I promise I did not write that... It only sounds like I did because that is pretty much a summary of my posts over the last couple of months. I told her that I completely felt her pain, since I was dealing with the same issues. The only difference being that her son will be two next month, so I have a four month head start on dealing with the terrible twos. Wanting to help, I reflected on the past four months and came up with five tips that were helping me (and Ollie) survive the terrible twos...

1. Consistency is KEY. If you are going to say No, say it the first time. Toddlers thrive on routine and constancy. Flipping the script midway through on a toddler is the worst thing you can do. Letting bad behavior slide the first couple of times makes it near impossible to correct down the road. For example. Taking my son out of the shopping cart at the grocery store and either holding him or letting him walk, will forever be one of my biggest regrets. If you learn anything from me, do not let your kid out of that cart! It's almost impossible to put them back in! Another of my regrets is letting Ollie help me in the kitchen. Every morning he tries to slide a chair over to help. This sucks since I have hot coffee and knives out making sandwiches. He is too young to help, I wish I would have waited until he was at least three. If only I said no to the grocery cart escape and helping make meals the first time, I would not have the daily battles. 

If you don't want your child to throw toys, correct them EVERY time! If you don't want them screaming, hitting or biting, reprimand every time. If things belong in a certain place, put them back every time. This gets old, but eventually it sticks... and becomes second nature for you too.

2. "NO" is not enough, explain why, and ALWAYS have a redirect ready. Being that my son is CONSTANLY testing boundaries and getting into things he should not, it quickly became apparent that a simple 'NO" would not be enough. I learned very early that my son responded best when I said, NO... and this is why, then showed him an activity that was appropriate for him to be doing. This way, I could teach him why what he was doing was wrong, and then show him something else he could be doing that was even more fun. Like instead of banging things on the floor, he could be driving cars on his toy table or playing with his blocks. That is much more effective than shouting NO, removing him from the activity, and then leaving him there with nothing to do but find more trouble.

3. Consequences are KEY! Since two-year-olds are not cognitively developed enough to understand spankings, or long time-outs, consequences are the best bet. FYI: empty promises of consequences are lazy parenting at it's finest hour. I know, this lazy parenting was me. "Oliver, if you do that, NO Park." He did it, we eventually went to the park. FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! Now, it's, "If you smash your car into the wall one more time, I am going to take it way!" Thanks to my prior lazy ways, he would smash the car into the wall. Now, I get up off my lazy butt and take the car, and explain again why I am taking the car so he is clear about the consequence. Of course he throws a fit, flopping like a fish on the floor, but eventually he stopped smashing the car into the wall.  

It's a process, everyday he is on to something new... but the consequence are reinforced now.

4. Ignore the temper tantrum. a.k.a the flopping fish out of water routine. I know most all parents who have made it though the terrible twos, threes, and yes apparently the fours too, will agree with me on this one, you cannot play into the tantrums, or they will just keep happening. I tell Ollie that he is hurting mommy's ears, and when he wants to use his words we can talk about what is upsetting him, then I walk out of the room. It's not always immediate, but eventually, he will calm down and move on.

5. It's not your fault. You are awesome. Going back to the mom that sparked this, during our back and forth she said this: "I think I'm a good mom and I'm hoping it's not something I'm doing or not doing." I struggle with this, but I know in my heart I am a good mom too. I know I am doing everything I can, even on my lazy to-tired-to-get-off-the-couch days, I still do my best. This IS a phase. ALL children go through the terrible toddler phase to some degree. This is a time for testing and learning for both the toddler and parent. Somedays we both get it right, others... Not. So. Much.  

As a whole, I know I am awesome and doing my best to navigate the toddler phase with my toddler. I am certain that staying patient, consistent and compassionate, is the key to surviving the toddler phase with my sanity, and a well-mannered and grounded child to show for it.

Do you have any tips to add?

Please Stop Saying The Terrible Twos Are Nothing Compared To Three and Four! #IgnoranceIsBliss

There is nothing worse than when my kid is acting up, and some stranger says, "Is he two?  ...Just wait, that's nothing compared to three and four." Really? That's making the situation better how?

How can someone think saying that will make me feel better? There is only one word for that: Dumbassery.

If a two-year-old's psycho behavior is really nothing compared to a three or four-year-old's, then why is not called the Terrible Threes or Ferocious Fours? Is this something new? Are kids today stringing the terribles out?

My kid is only two years and four months old. That's 8 month's left of twos and then TWO MORE years through three and four...  I'm here to tell you, my sanity hinges on the fact that the 'terrible two' phase is going to pass. I cling tight to my belief that my kid is going to become this fabulous semi well-behaved badass on his third birthday. I can't fathom the idea that my toddler is going to become progressively more ill-behaved. In fact, I REFUSE to believe that I'm going to have a 24/7/365 assholio toddler for the next thirty-two months!

No.

Nope.

Not. My. Kid!

Of course I know on Ollie's third birthday he is not going to wake up at 9am, make himself a breakfast and remember to say please and thank you while happily holding my hand through a day of errands.

HOWEVER.

I do think that somewhere between now and then, he will calm down a little. And by a little, I mean stop throwing himself on the floor and flopping around like a fish out of water when he doesn't get his way. I also think he will not test every single freaking thing I say, and maybe, just maybe, he will sleep past the ass-crack of dawn... I'd be happy with a consistent 7:30-8am.

You see, I have to believe in these things. I NEED to believe in these things.

To resign myself to the belief that my kid is going to be a screaming tantrum throwing, boundary testing rooster for the next three years might kill me. Plus, kids don't stay the same, especially toddlers. Those little shits are constantly changing, growing and learning. No way can they maintain constant horrifying behaviors for three solid years.  People would stop having multiple kids if that were the case. Right?

Sure, I can imagine how the increased vocabulary might pose a problem, with him being able to really tell me what he wants and thinks...

I can also imagine how his fearlessness and increased mobility and strength may cause many more heart attacks for me and falls for him, however, I just don't want to waste my time worrying about that right now.

I want to think about how two is going to get better. How the hitting, throwing, screaming, tantrums and boundary testing are just a phase that he will grow out of, and soon! I have no doubt he will take on new horrifying behaviors, but I don't want to think about them right now.  I want to focus on the horrifying behaviors he has today, and how I am going to put an end to them.

I want to look forward to three and four with excitement, not fear. As it is, I can't help but look fondly to those ages. My little guy will be talking more, able to start group sports, be even more fun to play with and talk to, and most of all, out of diapers. (Dear God, Please let that be the case.)

I'm all for sharing parenting tips and stories--clearly, I'm a mommy blogger-- but scaring people who are already in a shitty situation with a screaming kid by telling them it gets WORSE... yeah, that's not cool! So if you are one of those people who tell parents of two year-old it gets worse not better... STOP IT!

We need encouragement, not more fear!

Advanced Paternal Age Increases the risk for Autism, Bi-Polar, Schizophrenia, And Still Birth...

A few weeks ago when I received an email from one of my editors with an article assignment, I couldn't wait to see what it was! To my surprise, I was being asked to write about the effect a man's age has on his fertility. I thought, OK. Sure, I can write about that.  I have written about Advanced Maternal Age on the blog, why not see what Advanced Paternal Age was all about? You all... I never imagined what I would find would be so devastating...

To get a jump on my article, I immediately started reading the available various aspects  research, and found a specialist to work with through a website that hooks up writers and experts. I hit gold when, Dr. Natan Bar-Chama, associate professor of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Science at the Icahn School of Medicine and director of Male Reproductive Medicine and Surgery at The Mount Sinai Hospital, agreed to work with me. Dr. Natan Bar-Chama has done multiple studies on various aspects of male fertility over the years, and is considered a leading expert in his field. I sent him a few questions and got information back that was shocking!

He told me things like:

"The sperm producing process called spermatogenesis is so extensive and ongoing that over time it begins to show cracks in the machinery, resulting in errors in the genetic code." 

"There are some conditions such as autism, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, autism spectral disorder and neurocognitive impairment which are at increased relative risk associated with aging."

SAY WHAT????  An older man's sperm can cause Autism, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, autism spectral disorder and neurocognitive impairment, just from age, and no other genetic contributors? 

Nope. No. No way! 

Say it ain't sooooo.....

Refusing to want to believe this information, no offense to the great doctor, I went looking for more research. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anything that said his research was off. In fact, it was spot on. During my search through medical journals, "Papers," and published full blown studies of 85,000 men, the supporting evidence that advanced paternal age had a huge impact on conception and birth defects was endless...  

It turns out that as a man ages, his sperm takes on DNA mutations that cause these birth defects... Along with the increased risk for still birth and prolonged time for conception, up to two-years in some cases! The studies show the DNA mutations in sperm and difficulty with conception for starts as early as thirty-five!  According to researchers at The University of Newcastle: "The amount of DNA damage in sperm of men aged 36 to 57 is three times that of men younger than 35 years."  You all, shit. I just couldn't believe it! I thought a man could knock out healthy kids until the day he died.  

Fun Fact: According to the Guinness Book of World Records, The oldest man to father a child was,  Les Colley (1898 - 1998, Australia), who had his ninth child, a son named Oswald, to his third wife at the age of 92 years 10 months.  

Fearful the increase in Autism cases was a direct reflection of these findings, I dared down that road of research.  Thankfully, older dads are not to blame for the increase in diagnose Autism cases, genetics are. 

As I continued with my article, it was clear that the research was there, Advanced Paternal Age Increases the risk for Autism, Bi-Polar, Schizophrenia, Still Birth, and increased Time To Pregnancy (TTP).  Thankfully, I was also able to find enough specialist and doctors to agree that, even though the research is there, much more research needs to be done before men over the age of 35 start throwing in the daddy towel.  

To read my complete article on Parenting.com, and find out how the genetic mutations in sperm happen, CLICK HERE

YAY!! The Pools Are Open! #LittleSwimmers #Huggies #Giveaway

This post has been brought to you by Huggies, but that's all, the story is all about me, so of course all opinions are my own!

Yay, it's Memorial Day! I love this national holiday for so many reasons. Of course, first and foremost, it is a day that Americans come together to remember the men and women who died while serving in the armed forces. Not only do I think of the fallen soldiers on this day, I think of their family members too. I want them to know that their lives were not lost in vein. I am raising my son in a beautiful, safe and free country because of those who fight on the front lines to keep it that way. 

The other reason I love Memorial day is because, to me, it is the kick-off to summer! I know after Memorial Day weekend, I can garden without fear of frost, I can wear dresses and sandals non-stop, and... and... THE POOLS OPEN!!!! Memorial day is also the national day of pools opening. 

This is the first year since getting pregnant that I am excited about the pools opening for two reasons.

1. My rather plump post-pregnancy bottom is finally not so plump.
2. It's time to teach the toddler to swim.  

I am so excited about teaching Ollie to swim.  I grew up near the ocean and so did FTD, so we both learned to swim at a very young age. We want the same for Ollie. Truth be told, if we still lived near the ocean, I would have had Ollie in swim lessons by now. But, since we do not have a pool or ocean in our backyard, I have not made it a top priority.

Last summer, Ollie was just a little over one and happy to run wild through the sprinklers at the park and zoo splash pad. This summer, the boy is nearly two-and-a-half and needs to learn to swim.  And since he is still in diapers, that means we need to wear swim diapers. (Yes, it's time for a shameless plug, but hey, there is an AWESOME giveaway to go with it!) 

I remember when I first took Ollie to the mini water park at the zoo. A friend and I met to take our littles to the zoo, and since it was such a hot day we decided after we got there to let them run around in the toddler sprinkler area. My girlfriend immediately whipped out a swim diaper. I asked her if they were really necessary.  --You know me, the constantly confused first-time mom.--  She said they were great because they keep the water out. Meaning, your child doesn't look like it's carrying around a super load in their diaper.... like my kid looked like after 10-seconds in the splash pad sprinklers... 

Needless-to-say, now that it's pool and sprinkler season, I will be keeping a couple of Huggie's Little Swimmer diapers on hand for those impromptu pool and sprinkler trips. 

·         Easy Open Sides that make removing the swim pant easier and provides easy disposal

·         Special leak guards made for water help protect against a mess

·         Stretchy sides for a comfortable fit, in and out of the water.

Speaking of trips to the pool, have you taught your little one to swim yet? Are you/did you spring for professional swim lessons, or teach your little one to swim yourself? I would LOVE to hear your stories!

Oh and... Good news! Huggies wants to make sure one lucky reader is fully prepared for those impromptu trips to the pool and sprinkler too, with a super Little Swimmers prize pack! Sign up below!

Includes:
One Pack of Little Swimmers Diaper
Hooded towel set
Bath toys
Arm Floaties

I May Be A Mother, But That Doesn't Mean I Am A Super Hero. OK. Maybe It Does...

As far back as I can remember my mom always had a smile on her face, except, of course, when either I or one of my siblings were naughty. She always had a positive attitude and encouraging words. That's what good moms do, stay positive and maintain their smile and composure. Looking back, I don't know how she did it as a single mother of three. I only have one little one, and I still have a terrible time somedays keeping a smile on my face when life knocks me down. Still, I do. It's a mom thing I guess, because prior to becoming a mom I would sob like a baby and complain to anyone in earshot.

Between the recent purchase of our new home, the renovations and the intense process of moving, every single hot button I have has been pushed. I stress about the new bills, I ache from head to toe from renovating and now moving, and am so tired from the nonstop of it all, that even my yawns are yawing! Still, I make sure that Ollie sees a happy mommy, three meals a day with snacks, a bath and has a room that he can enjoy playing and sleeping in, because at the end of the day, that is what matters most to me.

His room was the only room completely finished when we moved it. 

OH and FYI: I did tear up a little when we said goodbye to his first room.  Ollie on the other hand was like, Peace Out room!

Sorry, back to having super powers...

Since becoming a mother, I've noticed how my patience and ability to press on and stay positive has increased exponentially. But it was this move and the tests that came along with it, that made me realize just how much stronger I am. It's no longer a question of "if" I can do it, it's just "do it!" Full Stop.  If something needs to be done, I do it.  If it sucks, so be it, I do it.  If I have to work into the wee hours of morning to finish it, so be it, I do it.  And what's more, I haven't had many pity parties, but rather moments of "Hell yes, I am on it, I can do it!" I am celebrating my new found super powers.  I am proud that when I think I cannot go on, I do.

I feel good.  I feel empowered.  I feel like an amazing mother.  I fell like I can do anything I put my mind too. It's a wonderful feeling, and I know I have becoming a parent to thank for that.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go move a mountain... of clothes, toys and other assorted crap into their place in our new home.

Headleveler Pillows: Customize Your Family's Perfect Night's Sleep (#Giveaway US & CAN)

I was provided with a free product to facilitate this review. All Opinions are my own. As if! 

As a belly sleeper, in an attempt to find the perfect night's sleep, I have tried hundreds of pillows. You know, the pillow that does not leave me with a sore back, neck and eyes that won't fully open, no matter how much coffee I consume. I've tried every, "As Seen On TV," pillow and even once this $120 super gusset pillow that was supposed to be the best ever-- It broke down in a couple of months and was one of the worst ever! Thankfully, I have finally found the perfect pillow, and it's not some super fancy memory foam and ridiculously priced. Just very well designed and made... and for under $100! Headleveler Pillows are custom made pillows to contour YOUR head, neck and shoulders, and they are SUPER affordable! (I'm on my third month sleeping on one, and it's still like the day I got it!)

When I was contacted by the Headleveler company to conduct a review, I was skeptical of this perfect, "Made To Measure Pillow." After all, I had been through hundreds of perfect pillows, and was sure the perfect pillow did not exist. Especially, when I was still sleeping on a less than perfect mattress. Still, I was curious, so I said, OK.  Then, what happened next was... well... personal...


I was sent an email with the following questions...

Could you please provide me with the following information so that I can send you the proper thickness for your pillow.  Here are the questions:

Height:
Weight:
Do you have wide or average shoulders?
Do you sleep mostly on your back or your side?
Do you have a pillow-top mattress (foam on top of spring mattress)?
What type of pillow are you currently using?  (i.e. ordinary pillow, foam pillow, thick, thin)

WHAT? You want to know, WHAT? Even I don't know my weight. No one should!

Desperate for a good night's sleep, I walked my plump bottom into the bathroom and climbed on the evil thing... I replied with my answers to the questions and then answered the ones asked for Ollie.

That's right, this review is not only about me... it's about how Headleveler pillows are custom made pillows for kids too! 

A week or so after sending my unspeakable numbers, the perfect pillow for Ollie and I arrived.  Pillows like I have never seen... They had three clearly defined sections, and each was a different size than the next. Baffled, by the baffles... I read the information sheet that came with the pillows.

I turns out, each section is independent of the next, and custom designed different part of your body--to ensure perfect alignment when sleeping!  Very Cool. Now, I see why my height, weight and other info were needed.

You, all. WOW! And for men, this is the pillow that stops snoring... I know this because FTD keeps taking mine from me. And as a testament to the pillows, I take t back because I sleep so well and deeply, that I can't be bothered but the freight train  snoring. I told him if he left it alone, I would get him one for Father's Day.  Seeing as how mine was made for me, not, 6'1 and lots more pounds than me, him!

FYI: Headlever or "Ortho-Cerv" Pillows, have been around for 25-years now and are 100% made in Canada, from materials to production. No need to worry that your child's pillow has been sitting in a container floating across an ocean for the past 3-months... Currently,  Headleveler pillows are sold all over Canada and the US in orthopedic stores, and are recommended by medical professionals (In both Canada and the US!) to those undergoing physical therapy, and for athletes too!

OK!  Enough about the adults, on to the kids...

When the granddaughter of the inventor of the Headleveler pillow moved from a crib to a toddler bed, her mother had a horrible time finding a child sized pillow for her daughter. Especially, one that offered support AND was hypoallergenic AND machine washable AND not massive on her toddler bed... So, the mini-me "Junior" Headleveler was created!

 They are the cutest little pillows, with custom made pillow cases. Ollie LOVES his!

The main thing I love the most about this pillow, is that it is sturdy and contoured for my little one's little neck. I also like that the pillow is not squishy. I know he is a big boy now and all, but, I still won't let him have super squishy stuffed animals or pillows. It makes me nervous. Plus, the Headleveler pillows fits nicely into the washing machine, which is handy when a toddler is involved.

Ollie's favorite part is having a pillow like mommy and daddy.  I know, he says it; "Ollie's pillow, like mommy and daddy."

Currently, there are two children's pillows available:

Junior Small--for a 20-35 pound child
Junior Large--for a 35-50 pound child

To comply with safety guidelines, Headleaveler pillows are not recommended for children who are still in cribs...

Bottom Line: These pillows are the goods. I can also say, (in a week or two) my whole family sleeps on them.  (Happy early Father's Day, FTD!) I absolutely LOVE how at the end of the day, when I lay down, I actually feel the stress come off my spine and neck. I melt into the pillow and my bed comfortably.  Seriously, it's NO BS! I really really really love theses pillows, and I have NO doubt you will too!

If you order right now, First Time mom & Dad readers get free shipping through the end of the month of May. Use promo code: "MomDad1" at check out. And that's not all!!!  If you order now, you get a free custom fit pillow case for your child's pillow!  To get started now, CLICK HERE!

Felling lucky?  Sign up below for your chance to win a Junior Pillow for your little one!  TWO will win!!

My Toddler Has A Raging Case of Selective Hearing

The older my toddler gets, the more amazing and fun...and annoying... he is. Now, at the ripe age of two-yearsand four-months, he can hold a conversation, ask questions, make jokes, sing songs, recognize numbers, letters, shapes and colors, and a few other things that clearly show he is brilliant, but what's really amazing about all of that, is that he managed to learn it all with ears that appear to only let in about 10% of sound. Or at least that's how much of what I say to him appears to be heard.

The biggest slap in the face is that sometimes my kid acts like a complete fool just to see how I will react. Is he already so bored with life and his plethora of toys, that to find amusement he has to mess with me?

Ollie, don't you dare pull that plug...
Huh? What, Mommy?

It absolutely blows my mind how toddlers have this inherent need to test limits... Over and over and over...

For example, my toddler has this thing about getting into a car that drives me CRAZY! Here is how it plays out... when we leave the house to go to the car, he darts to the yard and runs around until, after plenty of bargaining and threats, I have to run after him and catch him, or, knowing it will be an issue, I carry him from the house to the car, while he kicks and screams like I am trying to kidnap him. EVERY DAMN TIME! Then once I have him in the car we have the same talk about how that behavior is naughty, and that I am very disappointed. Then I make one threat or another about no park or toys. He could care less, he already had his fun. By now, he knows better, but apparently would rather get in trouble than listen.

Other things that I say regularly that do not appear to be heard are...

• Stop slamming the door.
• Don't you dare run away from me.
• Stop chasing the cat.
• STOP! (In general)
• Don't throw your toys.
• Pick that toy up.
• GET DOWN NOW!
• If you behave in the store then...
• Eat your vegetables.
• Please don't throw your food at the cat.
• Please stop driving your car into me/the door/the wall...
• You have to wear pants and a shirt.
• You cannot go outside without your shoes on.
• Lay still your are going to get poop everywhere.
• GO TO SLEEP!

Really the list goes on, but I am sure you get the idea.

Now, for the list of things he never fails to hear...

• Do you want a cookie/ice cream/cupcake?
• Do you want to go shopping?
• Do you want to make a choo choo track?
• Wanna go for a walk?
• Wanna go to the park?
• What do you want to eat for dinner? (Not that he is going to eat it.)
• Bob the Builder is on!

Clearly, there is a pattern here-- If it's awesome he hears it, if it it's not awesome, forget it. 


Damn the terrible twos... I feel like I am a broken record stuck on saying "NO!" and "Dammit why me?" I keep trying to charge my childless neighbors for the birth control I provide on a daily basis.  I'm pretty sure they hear us coming and run to the window to watch the comedy show unfold.

As much as I want to say, this too shall pass, I know this selective hearing pattern all too well, I followed it as a kid... My mom finally broke the pattern when I was old enough to understand that if I didn't listen, I would lose my Nintendo for a week. I sure did listen up when the thought of not saving the princess was on the line.

I cannot wait until the day comes when that kid finally understands that I control who saves the princess and when.

Please click the banner below to throw a vote my way!

The Best Sunscreens Of 2014 Are In. Did Your Favorite Make The List?

Thanks to a family history of skin cancer, and a few scares of my own, I am extra cautions when it comes to protecting my son from the sun's rays. Some of you may remember the umbrella stroller trick from when Ollie was still to young for sunscreen... 

I don't care if it looked silly, my kid was cool and safe!

Everyday without fail when I know Ollie will have an opportunity for prolonged sun exposure, I cover him in sunscreen, 15-30 minutes before we go outside. I want to make sure he understands from a very young age that putting on sunscreen is essential before going outside to play. 

Of course, while I am a huge advocate for avoiding prolonged sun exposure all together, I know that is not always easy during the summer months. In fact, I LOVE being outside, and so does Ollie, so I make sure I take the necessary steps to make our fun-in-the-sun safe! 

1. Wear Sunscreen--reapplying as needed
2. Wear a hat and sunglasses
3. Stay in the shade whenever possible
4. STAY HYDRATED!!!! 

Here are some tips from HealthyChildren.org on the best way to protect your child in the sun.

·  Keep babies younger than 6 months out of direct sunlight. Find shade under a tree, umbrella, or the stroller canopy.

·  When possible, dress yourself and your kids in cool, comfortable clothing that covers the body, like lightweight cotton pants, long-sleeved shirts, and hats.  

·  Select clothes made with a tight weave - they protect better than clothes with a looser weave. If you’re not sure how tight a fabric’s weave is, hold it up to see how much light shines through. The less light, the better.

·  Wear a hat or cap with a brim that faces forward to shield the face.

·  Limit your sun exposure between 10:00 am and 4:00 pm, when UV rays are strongest.

·  Wear sunglasses with at least 99% UV protection (look for child-sized sunglasses with UV protection for your child).
·  Use sunscreen.

FUN FACT: When it comes to choosing the right sunscreen, The American Academy of Dermatology recommends everyone use sunscreen that offers the following:

• Broad-spectrum protection (protects against UVA and UVB rays).
• Sun Protection Factor (SPF) 30 or greater.
• Water resistance.

We all know using a really good sunscreen is the key to safe fun in the sun, but do we all know the difference between, "best" and "safest"? Just because it says, SPF 55, it doesn't mean it is safe to use on your child's sensitive skin. To find the best and safest sun care products for my family, I turn to the EnvironmentalWorking Group. For those of you who do not know, The Environmental Working Group, is the nation’s leading environmental health research and advocacy organization. Their mission is to "Serve as a watchdog to see that Americans get straight facts, unfiltered and unspun, so they can make healthier choices and enjoy a cleaner environment." 

Each year, the EWG does a study of over a thousand sunscreen products available on the American market. The products are rated on five factors encompassing overall ingredient safety and product efficacy in providing sun protection, then given a rating from zero to five. This year, only 149 products passed the test, with only a few getting the top honors of a 0-2 low hazard rating.  

To see if your favorite sunscreen made the list of the best sunscreens of 2014, CLICK HERE!

We've Moved! In Other Related News... I think FTD is a hoarder... and my kid has WAY too much crap!

We did it. We finally moved!  Well, we moved the majority of of our stuff... 


In the last three days I have learned two valuable lessons:

1. Moving=The fastest way to realize just how much unnecessary crap you have.
2. Home Ownership= Bills, Bills, Bills...

Ok, one more thing..

3.Moving from a shoebox apartment into a new house=AWESOMENESS!!!! 

You all, even after hiring movers, and filing the rather large truck full of stuff, we still had a quarter of our stuff left to move! 

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? 

I'll tell you how.

My kid has WAY too much stuff.  

And FTD has too many shirts.  

And me, well... I may have a few too many shoes dresses books things too. 

Nonetheless, we are on night three in our new house!

How is that going you ask? It's going... 

The first night, not a damn one of us slept. Ollie was up and down, Professor (a.k.a "the Bloody Cat" was up yelling and meowing THE WHOLE FREAKING night. FTD was crazed. I was crazed... it sucked. 

Night two, pretty much the same thing, except FTD ran to the basement to the peace of his old faithful couch and slept well.  So when Ollie was up at the ass-crack of dawn, I sent him and Professor down to the basement to find daddy, and slept in. 

Ready for another night of pure ridiculousness, I made up the bed in the guest bedroom, (a blow up camping bed) and told FTD he could go there if Ollie comes into bed. I settled in to bed early, ready for round three of crappy night sleep.  Sure enough, since I was prepared, Ollie stayed in his bed and Professor didn't make a peep. #ThankYouGod

Feeling good tonight, I decided to tackle the stack of mail I had been neglecting over the past week preparing for the move. Half way through the stack, I was ready to throw up.  It was bill after bill after bill, and in between one company or another trying to sell us insurance or some other house related thing. Apparently, home ownership comes with a daunting amout of bills too.  And scary ones, like mortgage, water, electric/gas, cable, mortgage, renovation costs, a plumber--thanks to our first leak, home warranty insurance, mortgage... I'm seriously freaking out.

Of course, FTD and I ran the numbers over and over before buying the house, but the unknowns and stack of bills are still scary as hell.  I swear,  becoming a grown-up is one of the dumbest damn things I have ever done...

For those of you who are wondering about how the renovations are coming along... Swimmingly. They are coming along swimmingly! 

You can now call FTD the Mud/Spackle King

Ollie's room was a big one.  His floors were so wrecked from glue and crap we decided to lay a floating wood laminate floor over them until we had the time, money and energy to attack them. 

From the paint to the floors, I am SO pleased!!!

I bought a wallpaper steamer contraption to finish off the walls in four rooms and a hallway... I'm only a few rooms in now... and the yard is coming along nicely too! 

It took us two weeks of ass-busting work to finally realize we were not going to finish before we needed to move in, and to start a priority list and budget so we can set realistic goals. For now, we are happy with the extra space and fabulous neighbors. The rest will come in time...

Next up... the tiny pink potty.
Why yes, that is louver door you see...
Ugh...

Five Fun Summer Date Night Ideas for Busy Parents

(Due to the popularity of my post, The One Thing All Parents Should Have, about the importance of date night, I am posting this fabulous guest post that has some really great date night ideas! I personally love the idea of a blanket in the backyard stargazing... after a fabulous dinner out of course... ENJOY!)

FTD and I watching the sunset in OZ.
Magic. 

It’s almost the end of spring. Soon, the kids will be out of school, but that doesn’t mean you’ll have to cut back on date nights with your spouse. On the contrary, there are several simple, yet fun date night ideas to tackle during the summer months; all you need is a babysitter and a couple hours of free time:

Picnic & Concert in the Park

As the days get warmer, more and more cities are opening their seasonal, outdoor music and arts performances and festivals. Depending on where you live, you might be able to attend weekly concerts in the park or a food festival in your downtown district. Things to do vary from city to city, but you and your spouse should take advantage of community events, especially if they’re free of charge. For example, packing a picnic and going to a concert in the park can be a fun way to spend a couple of hours on a weeknight without getting home too late. Some cities also offer outdoor dances, so be sure to check your city’s website for upcoming events.

Moonlight Kayaking

If you live near the ocean, a river, or a lake, then there’s probably a kayaking company in the proximity and if you’re lucky, they might offer moonlight kayaking. What could be more romantic than cruising along the calm, moonlit water in a tandem kayak with your spouse? Of course, if you don’t own your own kayaks, then this is probably the most expensive date night option on this list. No worries, however: daily deals sites like Groupon and couponing websites like SumoCoupon routinely offer discounts on local water sports (including kayaking) so be sure to keep your eyes out for limited-time deals.

County Fair

Who said the fair is just for kids? Sure, bringing the kids during the day can be a blast for the whole family, but if you want to go on a date with just your husband or wife, then a night at the fair might be what you’re looking for. County fairs usually offer musical performances in the evenings – oftentimes “older” music that your Bieber or One Direction-loving kids might not care for – and you can partake in the rides and food and other fair activities while someone else watches your kids at home because tonight, it’s all about you two.

Drive-In Movie

Think drive-in movie theaters aren’t around anymore? Think again. Drive-ins.com lists thousands of drive-in theaters around the country and there might be one near you. It may be too hot to going out during the day, but as the cooler evening comes around, pack up some popcorn and adult beverages of your choice and watch a movie with your spouse from the comfort of your own car.

Stargazing

For parents who can’t find a babysitter or don’t want to stray too far from home, stargazing from your own balcony or backyard can be a fascinating – and romantic – way to spend the evening. This date night requires telescope, or at the very minimum, an app to tell you which stars are where. If you live in a metro area with heavy light pollution from the city, then this might not work, but otherwise, stargazing – along with desserts and decaf coffee – can be a great way to not only relax after a busy day, but also take in the wonders of the Milky Way Galaxy with your spouse.

What is your favorite date night?

Do You Know Why Wallpaper Is Called, Wallpaper? #DIY

Wallpaper is called wallpaper because, shit, was taken. It appears that, headache, ridiculous, stupid, unnecessary, horrible, frustrating, hateful, and complete crap was taken as well, so the evil genius who invented the shit had to settle on, Wallpaper. 

I think that looks like the hand of Satan.
It is the wallpaper from hell after all...

Fine... Wallpaper is not complete shit, but it sure is when you are trying to peel it off a wall. And well... I suppose it may have a place in homes with really screwed up walls, but for the purposes of this post, I will be referring to it as, 100% unnecessary, shit!  (If you are really interested in knowing the history on Wallpaper, there is a link at the bottom of this post. FYI: Wallpaper dates back to the 1500's!) 

When I first walked into our new house, the wallpaper didn't bother me. I thought, Eh, wallpaper, whatever, I can handle that junk! I'll just peel it off, no problem.  WRONG!  

The shit is EVERYWHERE!

The first day after closing, when FTD and I started renovations, I found a tiny little piece of wallpaper peeling off, so I grabbed it and ripped it off the wall. To my surprise and delight, it came off really well! So I found another piece and pulled it, but this time it barely came off. Uh, Oh...

It got ugly when I turned the corner...

FOUR DAYS LATER!!!!!  

I have gone through all kinds of methods to remove that awful shit! 

I have tried the following:

1. Peeling with just my bare hands and a paint scrapper-Day 1 FAIL! (See above photo)

2. Fabric Softener picked up at the dollar store mixed with water in a spray bottle- Day 2 EPIC FAIL! 
(See hand of Satan photo above, I created it with the cheap fabric softener.)

3. Expensive Downy fabric softener mixed with HOT water- Day 3 Fail (See photo below)

4. A Wallpaper remover steamer contraption- Day 4 SCORE!!!  Game-freaking-changer!!

Clearly, I am not messing around with that shit anymore. 

During my fails, I soaked my beautiful hardwood floors in fabric softener, I nearly glued my fingers together wiping glue off the paint scrapper with my bare hands, got a nasty blister from the constant scrapping with the paint scraper, and peeled the rouge pieces of wet wallpaper off the hardwood floors to find stains from it. See, it's SHIT! When I finally couldn't take it anymore, I broke down and bought a wallpaper steamer to get the damn shit off the walls. 

There should be a rule that, if you put up the shit, you have to take the shit down!

TIP:  When buying a large item from a hardware store, go to the website, find the item and see if you can buy it online then pick it up in the store, then search coupon sites for coupon codes and enter them in at checkout. I saved $10 on my Wallpaper steamer! 

As soon as I got home with the wallpaper steamer, I filled it full of water and let it sit for 15-20 minutes to heat up.  While I was waiting, I scored the crap out of the walls to help the steam get to the glue.  Then once the steamer was ready, I held it on the wall... OH. MY. Goodness! That steamer was an instant game changer.  INSTANT!  

I was so amazed. I held the little square thing in place on the wall for about 30 seconds, then EASILY peeled the wallpaper off.  But... only to the point where the square ended. After a little trial and error, I learned to hold it in place for 30 seconds, then slowly move it up the wall to keep the momentum going.  This steamer also gets the glue off too!  It's still a little messy in that water gets everywhere, BUT, it's only water, not fabric softener! You all, I may just survive this shit...

The expensive downy was used on the left side.
The right side is after only an hour with the fancy steamer contraption!
Can you tell how high I can reach without my ladder?
Tomorrow, I tackle the room with TWO layers of shit...
Follow on Instagram to see the progress.
Instagram: FirstTimeMomandDad

Don't worry... more to come once the room is completely stripped and painted...


For a history lesson on Shit, a.k.a Wallpaper, Click Here!