How To Gain Control of Your Facebook Content

In the wake of the war between Norway and Facebook, I thought I would add a little more fuel to the fire. Facebook makes fan page owners pay to show posts to fans...

Yesterday, when a reader reached out via Facebook Messenger with this...

I wasn't surprised. I get that a lot. 

Facebook thinks its fancy little algorithms come up with the best feed for you. They also put friends, family, dogs... EVERYONE before fan pages. Which is why you may be wondering why you haven't seen me or any other 'Pages' you've liked. Well, except for the ones who pay to get a higher spot in your feed. Seriously.

Here's an example. This post has been up  on my page for 4 days. I have 7100 Facebook Fans. 225 people have been reached. If I want ALL of my fans to see it, that will cost $60!!!

$60 to show to "People Who Like Your Page".

The changes and restrictions Facebook is CONSTANTLY making to Fan Pages infuriates me to no end. My Facebook community used to be the BEST! With Fall and the holidays and fun parties and yummy food, I want to talk about what everyone is eating, making and doing and share my favorites!

Thankfully, there are ways to gain control of your Facebook feed and the information you see. For the most part. SO, what's the fix? How can YOU choose who and what you see? It's complicated. (I think that's by design so Facebook can keep collecting ad revenue from the big brands and bloggers.)  

Below is a step by step guide with photos to help you navigate the madness, and gain control of your feed and actually pick who you want to see!

How to Personalize Your Facebook Feed 

Step 1. Click the little down arrow at the top of your facebook page
Step 2. Choose "News Feed Preferences"
Step 3.  Choose the top option: "Prioritize who to see first."
Step 4. ON this page you can choose your preferences. you can also sort via the drop down to choose only friends,  pages you follow, and the people you currently see first.
Step. 5 Click the photo of the people/pages you want to view and unclick the ones you do not.
Step 6. Once you've made your selections, scroll down to click, DONE!

And there you go! So, if you want to see me, without me winning the lottery, head over to Facebook and follow the above steps to get your feed in order, Click Here!

P.S. You may also want to check your security settings, Facebook is always dicking around with them too!

Because, Mommy Blogger Meltdowns Happen. Forgive Me.

I recently read an article, Dear Mommy Blogger, by Josie Denise, that bluntly exposed the ugliest, most over-the-top side to being a mommy blogger. It was clear, Josie, had been brought to such a breaking point, that she felt the need to save every single mommy blogger from a similar fate. A fate, I had just recently come to terms with. I totally related to the article. Well, not quite to the degree of rage and ranting, but close.

I too was in the throws of being sick of constantly striving for PR Perfection, getting the most social media followers, taking the best pictures, weeding through hundreds of emails a day from people flogging their "next best parenting product", and worst of all, trying to be the perfect mom.

So. Not. Me.

When I started making money blogging, everything began to change. Starting with, my tone. I wanted to work with the big companies, so I had to take it down a notch. Did you know, the word on the street is if you have the word "fu*k" in any if your blog posts, Disney will not work with you? I struggled hard with that one. I totally wanted a free Disney cruise like the big bloggers got.

However.

I firmly believe an out loud,  fu*ck, here and there is therapeutic, so I failed pretty quickly at that one. I'd rather pay for a Disney cruise then bottle up the fu*ks.


Still, I tried my best to stay in the good girl blogger box on all other accounts. I followed the big bloggers and did what they did. I was more focused on being PR Perfect then why I blog in the first place.

I stopped enjoying the process. I started writing to write, just to keep my traffic numbers up to get jobs. I was on auto pilot, with really bad editing skills. My fire for blogging burned out. I wanted nothing to do with First Time Mom And Dad anymore. I, essentially, quit my job and walked away.

I knew I couldn't quit blogging all together. I've been blogging steadily for over five years, this shit, it's in my blood now. Which, is why I started LoveLifeDIY.com. This was a new place that was my own, where I felt free to say and do what ever I wanted. I was finally out of the mommy box!

It's a bloody miracle the first post wasn't all four letter words and inappropriate memes. 

Over the past six months, since starting LoveLifeDIY, I have been struggling with leaving this place.  it's where I shared the first four years of my parenting journey. This is my mommy world, a place to share my ups and downs with strangers. A space to talk about my child and log his life.

Sure, making money doing what I love is amazing, but it's not worth losing my love for writing.

Nothing is worth that.

Then I read the mommy blogger hate article, and started thinking about the other side of being a mommy blogger, the good side. I found myself sort of defending the mommy blogger world, and thinking of all of the great things it offers both the writer and the reader. The community and camaraderie are second to none. It's the laughs, tears, tales, friendships and learning about true parenting game-changers that keep us coming back! I miss that. So. Much.

It's time to reclaim my space and get back to the basics. No more blogging for brands and PR Perfection. Starting today, I'm back full-time here, telling tales of my wild-child and crazy Aussie husband... Just like old times. The meltdown is over. 

It's time for FTM&D V. 2!

In other related news... LoveLifeDIY.Com it's still on too. I'm working hard to create a great balance between Me and being a Mommy.. My little guy is four, I need to find a life before he starts school, or I'll be a sobbing mess!  

LLD pushes me to explore the things that are important to me, then write about them. Over there I'll be talking about restoring our 1920's home to golden glory, finding the real cure for wrinkles, clean eating, 30/30 challenges, gardening, yoga and meditation, finding fun ways to be active, the latest trends and styles, a celeb rant or two, oh, and an Aussie post or two, COMPLETELY unfiltered... 

To make it easy to navigate between blogs, there's a button at the top of both blogs that will take you directly to the other blog, look for "LLD" or "FTMAD", depending on which site you are already on. Smartphone users, check the drop down menu at the top for the link.

Again, I'm sorry for the hiatus, but I am confident you will see that it was a good thing. 

I Finally Did It. Because Mommy Needs To Grow Too.

When I started my first pregnancy/parenting blog five years ago, TiredOfBeingPregnant.com, it was so I could vent about my pregnancy woes and fears. For some reason, I wasn't always comfortable talking about hemorrhoids and stretch marks with my husband, but when I came to strangers, I was all about sharing.

When I delivered my son, a few of the readers from TOBP reached out and said please don't stop writing! That's how this blog, First Time Mom and Dad, was born. I honestly had no idea that mommy bloggers existed when I started the blog. So imagine my surprise when I realized there were nine million mom bloggers! Or, 9 million mom blogs had been registered by the time I registered mine. So pretty much, I was 9,000,001. Hence the name First Time Mom and Dad, I didn't know I was supposed to come up with a funny name. I just went with what were were, first timers!

Still I love blogging. I also love love love my community and the wonderful friends I've made. Even though I knew I was a very, very small fish in a very, very, very large pond, it didn't matter, I had an awesome community that encouraged me to keep writing.

Now that I've been a mommy blogger for nearly four years, I'm ready for change. I'm ready to be more me and less mommy.  You know, go from 90% mommy and 10% me to closer to a 80/20 split. (I like to start with small goals). I'm ready to grow, learn and push myself.  I'm ready switch gears from all-day-every-day mommy, to mommy, me and more!

Long story short, I want to write about lifestyle things, not just mommy things.