Jan 26, 2015

#EpicFail: I Enabled The Bedtime Battle #NoMore #SleepTraining

For those of you who've been following me since the beginning, you know I am a textbook sleep training loser. I've caved to every bedtime need and whim of my child since birth.

My first attempt at the 'Cry It Out' method lasted all of thirty-seconds. I decided that night, hearing my baby scream like that was not an option. So with CIO off the table, I resorted to nursing or rocking my baby to sleep... for the next 2.5yrs.

No wait, it gets worse...

Six months ago, when FTD decided to move Ollie from his crib to a toddler bed, I told him it was a bad idea, and I was right!The minute I had him rocked to sleep, I would try to put him in his bed, only to be me with tears and protests. Ollie has not slept in that stupid bed through the night ONCE!

He's looking at it like; "You're shitting me, right? Where's my crib?
Screw it. Where's your bed?

Why yes, you are correct, that is pure dumbassery...

Jan 22, 2015

THIS Is Why You Don't Mess With A Mother! #Bringit #OhNoYouDidnt

This morning I nearly dropped my coffee when I saw the dash cam video of a mother chasing down a bank fraud suspect trying to evade the police... I was like, WHAT? Then I heard why she chased the suspect down, and I knew instantly she couldn't help herself; her inner lioness came out...

Just so we're on the same page before I explode on this, here is the news story:
Headline: "Less than a week after running the Houston Marathon, a Texas mother (Miranda) tackles a bank fraud suspect trying to evade police."
It turns out, the woman Miranda tackled was the passenger in a car she witnessed  trying to evade police reaching speeds of 70 miles an hour... near the school Miranda's daughters attend! After seeing the car hit a curb and blowout two tires, and the passenger jump out and run, Miranda chased her down! First she cut the suspect off with her car, told her to STOP! and then jumped out and chased her down on foot! When she caught up with her, all 110-pounds of her crazy lioness ass SLAMMED the suspect to the ground!  

HAHAHAHAHA! She is my freaking hero! 

In the news interview Miranda said:
“I told my husband I didn't know where the strength came from, but I picked her up... she was probably twice my weight, and laid her down on the ground, then held her arm behind her, and sat on her until the cops got there. She could have killed somebody, and I said that to her when I had her on the ground"  
I'll tell you where the strength came from, her inner lioness

All mother's have an inner lioness. 

There is no doubt in my mind, the second she saw that car driving fast and crazy by her daughters' school, she lost her mind. So much so, she snapped into lioness mode and did whatever it took to make sure her girls were safe from that nonsense. 

You wanna see the eye of the tiger? Mess with a mother's child. Warning: It will be the last eye you see before yours get clawed out! It's no secret, all mother's have a wild inner lioness. The second you put her child in danger, she will pounce on your ass! 


What do you think, was she crazy to get involved, or would you do the same thing? Have you experienced your inner lioness

Here is the news story if you want to watch it...

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Are You Riding The Winter Weather Roller Coaster Too? #ReliefIsHere

This post has been sponsored by SheSpeaks and Proctor & Gamble. All opinions are my own. 

The roller coaster weather this winter season has been awful! It's frigid cold one week, then the next the temps reach 40s, 50s and even 60's! No wonder there has been a massive cold and flu outbreak in 2015.

I'm on the crazy winter roller coaster right now with temperatures over the last few days near 60 degrees. It's nuts because the average temperature for my city this time of year is in the 30's. Needless to say, during the last 48-hours Ollie and I have been to the zoo, gone for a bike ride (Reall, me just chasing after Ollie saying SLOW DOOOOOOWN!!!), been to the park, played in the backyard and went on two nice strolls around the neighborhood with FTD. No way were wasting beautiful weather in late January.
I have no doubt he would try to ride a real one too. #heymommywatchthis #nofear
Of course, as I type this, the temps are dropping off into the freezing zone to make way for three rounds of snow between Friday and next Tuesday, with high temps in the 30's. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN???

Stupid Winter roller coaster!

I have no doubt that means cold weather and snow are not the only things in our forecast...

Being a pro at riding the roller coaster from winter hell, I don't mess around. All winter long I stay stocked up on my "winter essentials kit": Disinfectant wipes, Sprite, soups, plenty of healthy foods and of course, my SAVE-ME-NOW go-to, DayQuil Severe.

Vicks DayQuil Severe Cold & Flu
Maximum symptom-fighting ingredients to relieve your worst cold and flu symptoms.
Maximum strength nondrowsy cold and flu relief so you can tackle your to-do list.
Available in caplets or liquid.
Temporarily relieves common cold/flu symptoms:
Nasal congestion
Sinus congestion and pressure
Cough due to minor throat and bronchial irritation
Minor aches and pains
Sore throat
Reduces swelling of nasal passages
Temporarily restores freer breathing through the nose
Promotes nasal and/or sinus drainage
Helps loosen phlegm (mucus) and thin bronchial secretions to rid the bronchial passageways of bothersome mucus and make coughs more productive
I'm not kidding, I seriously stock up on DayQuil Severe early. Nothing sucks more than waking up with a cold and not having medicine to fight it! NOTHING! I cannot be out for the count with a cold and manage my crazy toddler at the same time. I've tried, it's miserable. So, I take the DayQuil Severe the second the cold hits and follow to dosing instructions for the next 24-hours. When the cold is really bad, I take the NyQuil too so I can sleep it off!

 Thankfully those magic tablets knock out the cold in about 24-48 hours.

Even though I have my cold and flu essentials kit ready, it doesn't mean I ever let my guard down! You can bet I'm constantly washing mine and Ollie's hands, wiping down surfaces and door knobs with disinfectant wipes and holding my breath when someone coughs or sneezes around me.

With 57 days until spring (Of course I'm counting!), I'm remaining diligent about doing all I can to stop a cold or flu outbreak from taking over my house, which of course means keeping my winter essentials kit well stocked.

If you don't have your essential kit ready, Walmart has everything you need in one-stop, and of course with all those falling prices, the best everyday value for all your health care needs! You can also buy everything you need online at Walmart.com.

Are you riding the winter weather roller coaster too? What are you doing to fight a cold or flu outbreak in your house?  Do you have your own version of a winter cold and flu essentials kit?

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Jan 21, 2015

CRAP! Am I Teaching My Toddler To Succumb To Peer Pressure?

Anyone with a toddler knows, potty training is from hell. Straight out of the depths of fiery frustrating I-hate-my-life-right-now, Hell. A potty training parent will say and do just about anything to get their toddler to crap in the can.

On a daily basis I do the following:

1. Beg and bargain with a two year old.
2. Dance like a maniac when my kid uses the potty.
3. Keep a large stock of treats and toys to use both as bribes and rewards.
4. Tell my son his, "Big boy pants" will catch on fire if he craps in them. (I was desperate!)
5. Saying,"Mommy, daddy, Jackson, and Cooper use the potty... Everyone uses the potty, Buddy, and you should too!"

It wasn't until Soccer practice yesterday did it occur to me that I might be teaching my toddler to succumb to peer pressure with my, "Everyone is doing it," statements...

Yet again, Ollie ran around like a maniac doing the complete opposite of the group, on the complete opposite of the field. Thankfully, this time it was much less embarrassing. However, at one point I walked over to the edge of the field when Ollie came close and said, "Dude, please listen to your coaches and join the group. Look, everyone else is listening."

I'm constantly trying to get my kid to behave or do something by pointing out "Everyone else is doing it, so you should too!"

GASP! This may be a huge fail!

For the first five years of my kid's life I'll be teaching him, "Everyone else is doing it, so you should too!," and then spend the rest of his life saying, "DUDE! If everyone was jumping off a bridge, would you?" 

I may be over-thinking this.  But I really think there is something to this!  I don't want to teach my kid to follow the kids now, only to reprogram him later to be an individual and make wise choices on his own.

OK,  Maybe this is a bad example...

Bottom line: I'm going to avoid, "Everyone else is doing it," statements.  I'm just not sure how yet... they really seem to work!

What do you think?  Am I over-thinking this? Have you already thought about this?

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Jan 20, 2015

10 Ways Being A Mother Has Changed Me... Into A Lameass

Let me just start by saying, I use to be so freaking awesome. I knew designers, pop culture, sports, my social calendar was hopin'... I was all kinds of bad ass.

Now, nearly three years into being a single-focus mother... not. so. much.

Without further ado, Today's Top 10 Tuesday: 10 Ways Being A Mother Has Changed Me... Into A Lameass...

1. The last three movies I've watched are Frozen, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory, and some random movie playing on Disney that I totally got into to.

2. I couldn't tell you who is dating who in Hollywood, but I can tell you I hate myself for caring so much about Austin and Ally's relationship status though. FYI: The last time I read PEOPLE Magazine, I found my self staring at a bunch of strangers in fancy clothes. (I can't believe I just admitted to that...)

3. Sometimes, I wake up an hour before my family so I can sit on the couch and drink my coffee in silence. WHO GIVES UP AN HOUR OF SLEEP??

4. I'm a closet cookie and candy junkie. No really, I eat cookies and candy in the closet so I don't have to share... ALL OF IT!

5. An Awesome Friday night consist of me on the couch with red wine and HGTV.

6. Exotic cooking is me trying to find sly ways to get veggies into dinner.

7. I have no clue who is playing in the Super Bowl.

8. My Google search history reads like a paranoid mother. "Why does my Son..." "Can he die from..." "Can he actually yank it off..."

9. I constantly find myself driving around solo listening to toddler tunes. FYI: It's not until I start singing along do I realize it. Yes! I change it. I'm not a total lameass!

10. The last time I went out with girlfriends, it took us two drinks to turn into the town drunks, and all we did was talk about our families and cram our phones in each other's faces... "Look at this one, he was being so cute..." FYI:  Not one selfie was taken... Maybe I am a total Lameass...

How about you? Are you still a total bad ass, or has parenting turned you into a total lameass?

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