6 Sanity Saving Survival Tips For New Moms

I have no doubt that every mother will agree with me when I say, during pregnancy, the only thing you get more of than stretch marks and bad gas, is parenting advice.  Between the always ready to share been-there-done-that mothers, parenting books, and online resources, the information available today for new mothers is overwhelming. What's more, you never know what to believe since one book will contradict the next, and what one mother swears by, another mother will insist did not work for her baby. Weeding through all of the advice can be daunting, to say the least.

Looking back, I wish I was given more advice on how to deal with becoming a mother, and less on the three million different ways to rock a baby to sleep. I needed to know about the self-doubt and the failures that came along with motherhood, or that having a baby would take a huge toll on my marriage and personal life if I let it. After talking with numerous other mothers, I realized we all struggled with the same issues; things it seemed no one bothered to warn us about in between lessons on feeding, changing and rocking our newborn to sleep.  I've put together a list of the top six things we all agree are so important for new mothers to know.  Things we wish we didn't have to learn the hard way.

Ollie and I at his 6-month well-baby checkup.

1. Listen to your instincts, not Dr. Google. With so many parenting resources available, most contradicting the next, don't get caught up thinking these resources know your child better than you do.

For example: If you know your baby is hungry feed him. Who cares if it has only been two hours and the book says wait for three. Screw that! Feed your baby. There is no reason to let your baby get hysterical trying to follow the guidelines.

I cannot stress this enough, trust what your gut and heart are telling you, because 9.5 times out of 10, they are spot on right. Every minute you second-guess yourself you and your baby will suffer.  Go with your gut first. Always.


2. The decision between nursing or formula feeding should not become bigger than World War III. First of all, Breastfeeding is NOT "Plug and Chug!" Nursing is hard. Extremely hard. There is no plug in and feed feature to it. It takes time, a fair amount of discomfort and practice for both you and your baby to get the hang of it. (I mean weeks, not days) Ask for help. Find a lactation consultant. Be prepared for a possible battle that will take all of your inner strength to make it through...

Second, BREASTFEEDING MAY NOT BE FOR YOU. THAT IS OK! You, or your baby, may have a medical condition keeping you from being able to nurse. You may hate it. It may just not be right for you. This is VERY common, do not think you are a failure.

Plain and simple-You will either nurse or you will not. Regardless of what you do, your baby will be beautiful and wonderful and smart and articulate. Do what is best for you and your child. Do not let anyone make you feel otherwise. You are NOT! a failure. DO NOT LET THIS RUIN YOU!

3. Listen to your baby's cues. While babies can only communicate through body language and crying, within the first week you will begin to notice behaviors and different tones of crying that are clearly trying to tell you something.  Babies will give you cues for hunger WAY before crying, including things like REM, finger sucking and reaching with arms and legs. When you notice any or all of those cues feed your baby pronto, or the blood-curdling screaming will be next! If your baby is tired some of his cues might be pulling at his ears, yawning and or quick jerky movements. 

Pay close attention to those different cues and within a week or so you will easily be able to decipher what it is your baby is trying to tell you, and most likely before he even starts crying uncontrollably.

4. Do not get caught up trying to be the perfect mother. There is no such thing! In order to be the best mother to your baby, all you have to do is try your best.  Parenting is filled with both triumphs and failures.  Do not be hard on yourself, or get discouraged if you fail.  Just like with everything else, practice makes perfect. If you fall down, stand up, dust yourself off and try something else.

Above all, do not be afraid to ask for help!  If someone wants to bring over dinner, let them.  If someone wants to come over while you take a nap and shower, let them.  Graciously accept all the help you can get, because chances are the person offering the help has been in your shoes before and knows a little help goes a long way during those first few months.

5. Don't forget to take time for your partner. It is so easy to lose sight of your relationship with your partner during those first few weeks and months of parenthood.  Between the exhaustion from the sleepless nights, the demanding feeding schedule, and your normal household or work activities, it can be hard to find quality time to spend with your partner, however, it is crucial that you MAKE time.

For example, Every single day during those first few weeks, make it a point to be affectionate, say I love you if possible eat a meal together and then during that meal try to talk about anything but your baby.

The key is not to build a new life around your baby, but to blend your baby into your existing life together.

6. Don't forget to take time for yourself. It is absolutely crucial that you take time for yourself on a daily basis. Every day you need to make it a point to take a shower, put on clean clothes, and eat at least two wholesome meals. Then aim to leave the house for no less than 10 minutes, at least every other day. Even a walk around the block does wonders. Just get away from that baby to rejuvenate, or you will crash and burn.   

From one first-time mother to another... Motherhood is a journey filled with ups and down. In the wee hours of the morning, when you have survived for days on little to no sleep and you are sure you cannot survive one more minute... you can. You will. Just keep repeating, This Too Shall Pass, until it does... Hold on tight to every moment and enjoy the ride, because it really does go by so quickly.  And don't listen to the doctors and nurses about those first smiles being gas induced, your baby is stoked to see you. ~April

Motherhood is such an amazing blessing that is so incredibly rewarding.  

10 Things To Know Before Transitioning To A Toddler Bed

The decision to move my son out of his crib and into a toddler bed was the source of many heated debates. As usual, I wanted to keep my baby in his crib, and the Aussie wanted his big boy (2ys) to be in a big boy bed frame. 

My husband talked me into letting him set up the toddler bed just so Ollie could get used to seeing it. 

Much to my surprise, the little guy took one look at his 'big boy bed' and declared no more Crib. He wanted to sleep in his big-boy-bed. 

Later that night, he was in my bed. For the first time EVER. 

Y'all.... The day we moved the kid out of his crib was the day we essentially moved him into my bed. To keep you from the same crappy night sleep, below are 10 tips found while researching an article I thought I would share.

1. There is no set rule, date, age, time, magical number.

Pediatric sleep disorders expert, Deborah Lin-Dyken, says there's no set time to make a move. Studies show most children make the switch sometime between ages 1 1/2 and 3 1/2.

2. Climbing Is Not Key. 

Don't rush right out and buy a new bed the day your toddler climbs out of the crib. This IS NOT an indicator that he is ready. Lower the mattress all the way, and discourage climbing.

3. Keep the decor.  

The switch may freak your toddler out. Place the new bed in the EXACT same place the crib used to be. Use the same bedding, crib toys/stuffed animals. Change as little as possible. 

4. NO SURPRISES! 

Don't just spring the new bed on your toddler.  Start talking it up at least a week in advance.  One expert says, "Throw a big party to celebrate the bed's arrival."

5. Wait For Independence To Reign Supreme. 

Independence is an indicator that your child is ready to make the switch.  If your child takes pride in individual accomplishments, including feeding and dressing themselves, then it may be time. Kyle Pruett, M.D., a clinical professor of psychiatry at the Yale Child Study Center, in New Haven, Connecticut, says a sign of readiness is when your child calls out in the night and can be reassured just be hearing your voice.

6. One Thing At A Time. 

Don't introduce the new bed during potty training or moving to a new house.  Too many changes can freak a familiarity loving toddler out. -Dr. Laura Markham.

7. Transition Before The Third Trimester.

If the transition is due to the arrival of a new baby, experts recommend the transition be made and well adjusted to at least TWO months before the baby arrives.

8. Remember Who Needs To Really Love It. 

Let your toddler be involved every step of the way; including if possible, picking out the bed, and the new sheets, blanket, and pillow if necessary. Make the new bed cozy and inviting.

9. Get the Routine Down. 

If you do not already have one, create a bedtime routine and stick to it leading up to the big night. Familiarity is key to this transition. One expert says to add white noise or music to the bedtime routine, if it is not already part of it, to help your child doze off.

10. Prepare Yourself For A long Bitter Battle. 

This could (most likely will) be very scary for your little one, and may take quite a few nights of both, getting to sleep AND staying in bed through the night, before things settle. Remember, this is ultimately your decision, you have to be comforting and understanding that this is very scary. Talk through your child's feelings and be reassuring that this is a wonderful thing.  'All big boys/girls sleep in a big bed.'

Unless this is your idea of a "toddler bed," 

then you better be sure your toddler is ready...

Parenting Words Of Wisdom: Toddler beds are dumb. Skip it and buy atlas a twin size bed. You'll be happy to have somewhere to sleep your child throws you out of your bed.

Good luck, it's not an easy transition, but with the right timing and attitude on both parties, this could be a good thing.

Tips To Save Buku Bucks On Spring Beauty Purchases

Yesterday. I covered spring money-saving hacks for kids' stuff, so now it's time to talk about mama's stuff! 

Spring is in full bloom, so I thought I would share a few of my top tips for buying champagne-style beauty products on a beer-budget. (Aveda, Trish McEvoy, Lancome, Clinique, Bobbi Brown, Sephora, OPI...) Or, how I rarely buy high-end beauty products at full price and get a lot of awesome free stuff in the process, and not because I'm a blogger. Let's just say, I'm a product whore with a laughable budget and years of buying experience. 

1. First and foremost, sign up for email alerts from your favorite brands. This alone makes it easy to get the most bang for your buck from your go-to brands. FACT: Department/Beauty store brands (Clinique, Bobbi Brown, Trish, Laura...) promote 'gift with purchase' specials YEAR-ROUND. TIP: Check your favorite brand websites for the weekly gift with purchase specials and free shipping... add a coupon code and SCORE BIG!! 

2. NEVER Buy anything without getting something free! I'm not kidding. I have yet to buy any products without getting free samples. If the brand website is not offering 'gift with purchase' specials, stores like Sephora, Ulta, Nordstroms, and Macy's may offer in-store/on-line promotions for the multiple brand's products. Do you see where I am going with this? Research your brand-loyal beauty products online before heading to the store. Always.

3. Print Monthly In-store Coupons. Love your Cover Girl Mascara or Almay Tinted Moisturizer? Before you shop for shadow and gloss, spend some time downloading + printing coupons. If you play your coupons right, you might score big by combining it with an in-store promotion. 

4. Reap the Rewards, Reviews + Ratings. Thanks to stores like Sephora, Ulta, and Amazon, getting the 411 on products is easier than ever. Amazon is a gold mine for finding reviews, photos, and deals on beauty products. Sephora is the spot for finding new products and scoring a loot bag of sample-size products. Ulta sends coupons for discounts on a single item or entire purchase via snail mail and email, so signing up for the email list is worth it for that alone. I use this for self-tanner and nail polish purchases!

5. Google What Gets You. The next time you want to splurge on a new miracle cream, Google it before buying it. But try googling the specific need, "dark circles," "deep wrinkles," then look for best sellers, then read the reviews. There is no reason to spend a month's salary on an eye serum with so many great options available for a fraction of the cost. Did you know Amazon's best-selling serum costs $15? It does. It also has 4300 reviews and 4.5 stars. 
                                                               

6. GET CASH BACK! Last, and my biggest and best shopping tip, RAKUTEN. I promise I am not getting paid to say that. I cannot recommend enough signing up, then downloading the browser plug-in. Then, every time you shop online, you're automatically notified of the percentage of cash back you get for purchases, and then at checkout, coupon codes are auto-loaded. IT'S AWESOME! I've been a member since 11/19/16 and have a lifetime cash back balance of $695.11 CASH!!!

Seriously... sign up. Download Rakuten then install the plug-in to your browser, 

and that's it! 

Have You Created Your Family Friendly Holiday Traditions?

Whoo Hoo! The Holidays are officially here! And while, yes, I may have a hugely dysfunctional family at times, never in the world would I want to trade them for anything. I love my family dysfunction. It makes us, US! I also love the fact that now that I have my own little family, we can create our own traditions, in addition to the ones we already have with our extended families.

This year, I want to create holiday traditions that we set in stone now, so that my child(ren) will look forward to them each year, no matter how old they get.

One of my favorite childhood traditions is every year on Christmas Eve, my mom bakes a huge batch of sugar cookies that my siblings and I decorate for Santa, and now with our own children as well.  I look forward to this tradition more than any of the others. I want to create something that wonderful for my own family. I am just not sure what.  In fact, I want to create something for every holiday!


For Thanksgiving,  maybe we all make a family pie together! Not just any old Pumpkin pie, something crazy, with crazy shaped crusts. Thank you Pinterest for having one thousand bazillion pie making ideas.

Too Ambitious?
Maybe if we start this tradition now, then maybe in 20 years we can pull off kissing swans! 

Christmas is the tradition I am stuck on. I want it to be wonderful, and something we look forward to as a family. I'm thinking it's something we do as a family on Christmas Day, mid-afternoon after the presents are opened and we have all had naps.

I read somewhere the idea to hold one small Christmas gift back to give after dinner or before bed on Christmas night. I like that idea, but I want something else, something GRAND! (FYI: Wikipedia has a bunch of Christmas tradition ideas.)

For New Years, I want to have a dinner where we talk about our great achievements over the past year, our biggest lessons learned, and then talk about what our goals/resolutions for the new year are.  My hope is that in sharing all of this as a family we will encourage each other to meet our goals through the year.

Easter is about faith and family, I love this day. We go to church, have brunch, the egg hunt and the rest of the day to lounge around as a family. Still, as far as a family tradition goes, I'm thinking the night before we will decorate Easter eggs as a family.  Just us.

Oh, yes, bring on the holidays and family dysfunction!

What about you? What are your favorite traditions?

How To Choose The Perfect Baby Monitor

Eight years ago, I bought my first baby monitor. It was a heavy little black and white TV thing that sat on my nightstand with a clunky walkie-talkie that let me move around the house and still be able to hear my little guy but not see him. That's right, less than ten years ago, baby monitors were total crap. Heavy, colorless, one function, bad reception, crap. 

Today, baby monitors have so many functions, it's mind-blowing, and so is the price for some. It's safe to say, over the years, I've reviewed loads of baby monitors. I've watched the baby monitor market evolve from clunky boxes to hundreds of brands offering monitors with so many bells and whistles, it can be intimidating. So how do you choose the right monitor in the sea of four-hundred choices of brands and functions? You make sure you get WHAT YOU NEED. I get it, it's hard to ignore the crazy bells and whistles, but don't lose sight of the most important thing, your child's safety and your sanity.  Here's how to choose the best baby monitor to get the most bang for your buck.

Smartphone Enabled Baby Monitors are a Thing

A few years ago, I was given a monitor to review that boasted having the longest range of any baby monitor, 1500 feet. It was a major advancement in the market, a monitor that allowed you to garden in the backyard and still be able to see and hear your napping baby from a handheld device. 

Today, there are baby monitors that allow you to be anywhere in the world and still see your baby. GET ONE OF THESE! These monitors connect to your smartphone instead of a handheld device you keep tethered to your body, in addition to your phone.  You can keep an eye on your prized possession from anywhere. No more wondering how your baby is doing while your away or with the babysitter... And here's the best part, and why this feature should be at the top of your list, you can use the camera as a security camera too- Point the camera at your front door when no one is home and instantly get an alert when there's movement or sound. How's that for the gift that keeps on giving?

High-quality Camera Images Day + Night

Just because your smartphone offers high-quality images doesn't mean the monitor will. You want a camera that offers wide-angle 1080p HD with full range of motion, offering crystal clear images day and night! Many monitors will say they have HD video, but only offer a small slice of the baby's room or crappy night vision. Your baby monitor should allow you to see the whole picture beautifully, even when you zoom in for a nighttime close-up

A Microphone With All the Bells and Whistles. Literally.

The only feature as important as camera quality is microphone quality. Some monitors fail when it comes to microphone placement. Make sure this is a feature you check out thoroughly before purchase. Depending on microphone placement, the sound can be muffled. I LOVE Invidyo's external microphone. I've never seen it before on a baby monitor, and it's about damn time! The microphone extends out from the camera. This means your voice sounds perfect, and so do the lullabies. WHICH, Lullabies on the monitor are EVERYTHING YOU NEED! Even my ancient monitor had lullabies and it was terrific! I could start and stop the songs without going into my baby's room and risk waking the little guy. 

What Do YOU Need?

As I mentioned above, the three most important features of a baby monitor are the ability to use your smartphone instead of an external handheld device that stops working when you leave the house, high-quality HD vision and static-free clean sound. 

Now's where things can get interesting and confusing. 

Today, there are so many extra features offered with smart baby monitors you have to decide what is important to YOU?  

• Artificial Intelligence Face Recognition
 
• Familiar Faces notification and `stranger' alarm
 
• Your child's end of day `Daily Summary Video'
 
• Smart Auto Smile Detection and Photo Albums
 
• 24/7 live video and smart event recording
  
• Room Temperature Detection
  
• Instant Push Notifications during the day
 
• Two-Way Audio and Lullabies

I cannot stress enough choosing a baby monitor that utilizes your smartphone. There is absolutely no reason you should have to keep up with a handheld monitor and your phone... There's an App for that!  

Plus, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of turning your baby monitor into a home security camera when it's no longer needed in the nursery. I also love the idea of being able to buy two or three cameras for multiple rooms, all linked in the app. Imagine being able to call out the babysitter from dinner! #Winning. 

For more information about the baby monitor featured in this post ($149!!!!), head over to the Invidyo Website. (I won't make a penny if you purchase one. I just love it THAT much I used it to prove all of my points! It absolutely deserves to be the 2019 Best Baby Monitor winner. It should win 2020, too!)

Life-Saving Tips To Keep Your Family, Pets + Home Safe In Cold Weather

To reach as many people with this article as possible, I'm going to avoid using all of the colorful four-letter words I prefer to use when describing cold temperatures, brutal wind chills, and deadly winter forecasts, but just know, I'm screaming, FU*K THIS SH!T, on the inside.

For many, including myself, the Polar Vortex Express is already barreling in. Deadly, brutally cold temperatures are about to ravish the USA. Unprecedented temps are hitting damn near all of us. Please, take every necessary precaution to keep your family, pets and home safe.

Below are a few essential Life-Saving Tips To Keep Your Family, Pets + Home Safe In Brutal Cold Temperatures:

1. Load up on layers. Wear layers of lightweight clothing while inside to stay warm. When you go outside, go all out! Cover all exposed skin and wear warm waterproof shoes. Parents, if you're not covered in sweat and feel like you've had one hell of a workout after bundling up the kids, then you're doing something wrong. Do not mess with this cold. Frostbite hits fast and hard. NEVER go out without gloves and a hat, they prevent the loss of essential body heat.

2. Protect your pets: I don't care if Cujo is chained in your backyard, bring his ass in! Ok, fine, if Cujo must stay outside, provide shelter, blankets, fresh UNFROZEN water and extra love.

The ASPCA recommended during cold spells:

• Massaging petroleum jelly or other paw protectants into paw pads before going outside can help protect from salt and chemical agents. Booties provide even more coverage and can also prevent sand and salt from getting lodged between bare toes and causing irritation. Use pet-friendly ice melts whenever possible.
• Bring a towel on long walks to clean off stinging, irritated paws. After each walk, wash and dry your pet’s feet and stomach to remove ice, salt, and chemicals—and check for cracks in paw pads or redness between the toes.
• Pets burn extra energy by trying to stay warm in the wintertime. Feeding your pet a little bit more during the cold weather months can provide much-needed calories, and making sure she has plenty of water to drink will help keep her well-hydrated and her skin less dry.
• Remember, if it’s too cold for you, it’s probably too cold for your pet, so keep your animals inside. If left outdoors, pets can freeze, become disoriented, lost, stolen, injured or killed. Also, don’t leave pets alone in a car during cold weather, as cars can act as refrigerators that hold in the cold and cause animals to freeze to death.

3. Don't space out on space heaters. Space heaters are dangerous AF, take all necessary precautions when using one; Place it on a level, hard surface and keep anything flammable AT LEAST three feet away. ALWAYS turn off space heaters and unplug them before leaving the room or going to bed-- Children may turn them on without you knowing, unplug them for extra protection.

5. FIRE IN THE HOLE! If you are using a fireplace, use a glass or metal fire screen large enough to catch sparks and rolling logs. Make sure embers are completely out before going to sleep or leaving the house. Smokers, that nasty-ass can of butts by your backdoor? That can is a fire hazard, it causes many, many house and apartment complex fires when a lit ciggy is tossed in resulting in a ciggy-butt bonfire disaster. Move those butts at least three feet from your house.

6. Protect your pipes. I know running water, even at a trickle, looks like money slipping down the drain, but it's nothing compared to the plumber's bill. Remember, you are riding out a storm, not making life changes. Bite the bullet and open the taps. Another great way to protect the pipes is by opening the kitchen and bathroom cabinet doors to allow warm air to reach the plumbing hiding behind them. NOTE: Move harmful cleaners and chemicals out of the reach of children and pets.

7. Hardcore heat the house. Turn up the heat and keep it there day and night. It may cost a few more dollars on your bill, but, a broken pipe bill will make you throw up. NOTE: Creativity is not key. Never use a stove or oven to heat your home. DO NOT light a small fire in a safe space. DO Layer on the blankets and phone a friend.

8. Care for the car- Check tires, wipers, antifreeze and never go below a quarter of a tank.  Keep a winter safety kit in the trunk that includes a flashlight, battery-jump box, water and a blanket.

9. GENERATORS ARE NOT FOR GARAGES! Never operate a generator inside the home, including in the basement or garage. NOTE: Don’t hook a generator up to the home’s wiring. The safest thing to do is to connect the equipment you want to power directly to the outlets on the generator.

10. Love Thy Neighbor. Check on your neighbors and make sure they are at a minimum alive. This brutal cold can be hell on the elderly. Look out for those awesome people. You do realize, not only will you be elderly one day, you too will be a twenty-year-old at heart trapped in an old-ass body, be cool to them, because they are cool AF.

BONUS TIP: New Year's Eve Party-goers, getting wrecked-ass-wasted on New Year's Eve and frolicking outside in a drunken stupor is No Bueno. Booze and cold temps= Bad news. Stay layered up and don't think because you're boozed up you're warm and cozy. Not. Even. Close. Alcohol dilates warm blood vessels near the skin creating the impression of warmth, all the while it's lowering your core body temperature!

Please share this article with friends and family in the path of brutal temps, it could save their family, pet, neighbor, pipes, sanity...

Sources:

Red Cross

NYC Emergency Managment

ASPCA

NOAA