Why I Will Not Be 'Freeing The Nipple' Anytime Soon

This past weekend, there was a #FreeTheNipple event held at a local park. The event was organized by a 17-year old female high school student. While I am beyond blown away that a high school student was able to organize a 400 person (topless) march to bring awareness to the campaign, I can't help but have a few concerns.

For the record, I am all for breastfeeding in public, equality and women empowerment. However, when it comes to running around with my shirt off to make that happen, I'm going to have to pass.

The following are my top 10 Reasons Why I Will Not Be 'Freeing The Nipple' anytime soon:

1. Pregnancy and childbirth turned my perfect little perky b-cups into droopy D-cups. I'm afraid if I don't keep a bra on, my boobs will beat my butt to my knees. And I so do not want that. Plus, in an effort to get myself in shape, I have been running and riding my bicycle. Without a bra, I'm fairly certain I will come home from my workout with two black eyes.

2. During my two-years of breastfeeding, I nursed in public a couple of times. And by 'public' I mean, I nursed in my car or a family room in a store. I never nursed on a park bench, not because I thought I would be shooed away, but because I didn't want to. Even if 50 woman were nursing next to me, I still wouldn't do it. I'm weird like that. But more power to the woman that does.

3. I'm married to an Australian. He was raised on beaches and parks with boobies. His free-to-air tv stations have full-frontal with no censorship or even warnings. I'm here to tell you, the man LOVES boobies. Loves them. Bottom line: 40 years of having boobs shoved in his face did NOTHING to desensitize him from wanting to motorboat mine 24/7.

4. On the flip side, I was raised with men not wearing shirts, but that still doesn't stop me from drooling all over my sexy husband's chest. There must be some inherent thing inside of us that makes us attracted to the chest, male or female.

5. Hell yes, I want to raise a daughter in a fair empowering environment. However, I'm not sure that I would want her running around topless. The world is just too jam packed with pedophiles and assholes to make that safe.

Event Organizer: 17 year-old Nan Elpers led a 400 person topless march down a busy street in Louisville, KY.  She used Facebook to organize the event. 
Credit: WDRB Fox41

6. I have enough trouble with men talking to my boobies, I can't imagine I will ever have a conversation with eye contact if I freed my nipples. I'm fairly certain desensitizing three existing generation from my breast is going to take many more years than I have left to live.

7. I admit, while in my twenties visiting a girlfriend in Spain, I laid out topless with her and her mother and a bunch of older women who have been doing it their entire life. The men and boys, who have been raised on the beach, still walked by and stared. Unlike the majority of men who's chests, for the most part, look the same, not all women's boobs are created equal or look the same. Even other women can't hep but stare some times.

8. I nursed my son for nearly 2 1/2 years, I am a HUGE advocate for it. I own a business, speak my mind and proudly vote. I understand it took strong women behind some fierce movements to make the later three possible. But I feel like breastfeeding sit-ins make more of an impact towards equality than young girls marching the streets topless. And fine, maybe having boobs shoved in your face all day every day would eventually desensitize people. But then what? We all walk around topless? Because I don't want to do that. And If I don't, then will I be less of a woman? Will I be considered back peddling?

9. Thanks to smartphones, every one has a camera and video recorder that is always rolling. I have no way of controlling what photos are taken of me. This goes for every young girl walking around topless. I can't help but wonder what would happen if a potential employer Googled their name and found a topless photo? I've read too many articles on women regretting posing nude and not being able to get the photos off the internet. It may seem like a great idea now, but later... not so much.

10.  Breastfeeding and going topless are two completely different things. Call me old fashioned and a shitty woman if you must, but I can only get behind the breastfeeding part of freeing the nipple. I can't support a movement that supports young girls walking the streets topless. It's just not safe.

Just like not every woman wants to nurse, every woman doesn't want to go topless. Plus, going topless is not illegal in most states, so if you want to do it, Do It. But please don't expect me to, or think of me as any less of woman for not supporting the cause and freeing my nipples, because it's just not going to happen.

What do you think? Free the nipple or not? It's OK, I know I'm going to get blasted for saying anything negative about a women's empowerment movement.

April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com