Thinking of Having a Baby? Read This First!

I do not think there is a first-time parent that can say they were truly prepared for what life is like once baby arrives.  Or should I say... once baby comes home, turns their life upside down, then right side up, and then just for good measure, does it one more time. 

Here Comes Crazy!

After ten months of pregnancy--aka HOURS of advice, tips and tricks on being a parent-- I thought I was prepared.  WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. For starters, everyone said "get lots of sleep now because once baby arrives you will not be doing much of it." OK, yes that is SO true, but no freaking way can anyone really be prepared for what six weeks of very little sleep is like. Or, no way did I ever imagine how I would so easily lose touch with my life, friends, and hobbies once my bliss and life-balance devouring bundle of joy arrived.  Bottom line, my first child completely changed my life--my priorities, my friends, my hobbies... So, I expect baby number two will do the exact same.  

Recently, a close friend of mine and her husband decided it was time to start trying for their second baby. As some of you know, FTD and I are throwing this idea around too...  so she and I started talking about how life changing having another baby was going to be.  Still, we both admit there is no way to really know the level of crazy baby will add until that little tornado arrives on the scene.  

My dear friend, who is also a genius, and a little a shit load Type-A, created a "Baby Bucket List," or a list of things she wanted to accomplish BEFORE getting pregnant with baby number two! 

Because she is awesomeness, she has agreed to let me share it with you...  

Baby Bucket List: 
  • Eat LOTS of Publix (or whatever deli) subs
  • Enjoy sushi
  • Eat lots of soft cheeses with wine
  • Partake in martinis & margaritas
  • Move furniture, paint, etc. while I can
  • Ride the rollercoasters at Universal and/or Disney
  • Go to Food & Wine Festival at Epcot
  • Go out dancing at least one night in high heels and a slinky dress
  • Florida v. Georgia game in Jax
  • Enjoy nonleaking, massive boobs
  • Get the yard pulled together
Then she says to me in the email...

"ummm.... I know there are a ton more, but that's why I'm enlisting you for ideas :) I figure once it all happens (if) then that'll be another year or more of restrictions, soooooo... gotta live it up now- like a bachelor(ette) party before the wedding."

First of all, see I told you so... That girl is a genius.  First the 'Baby Bucket List' then the bachelorette idea... Yeah, LOVE.   I think every woman should have a "prebabylorette" or "premomlorette" party before trying to conceive. Every woman should get to go out with her girlfriends for a last night of sushi, antipasto platters, soft cheeses, rivers of booze and high heeled dancing that makes her toenails fall off!  

I mean balls out last hurrah hell-yeah-ness. The kind of night you wake up from swearing you will never EVER go out (drinking) like that again.  That way when she is eight months pregs, full of baby and lethal gas, ready to choke her partner for breathing, she can be reminded that, some how, she still feels better than the morning after her prebabylorette/premomlorette party. OK, maybe I am going to far, nothing is worse than feeling like an overstuffed pig in a blanket with a troll for a baby-daddy. 

Going back to the Baby Bucket List, I truly LOVE this idea. Especially for parents trying for a second/third/fourth/twentieth child.  Before diving in, every couple should sit down and talk about what they wish the did before baby number one, and what they really want to do before baby number two/twenty.  We all know, you will never be fully prepared for what baby brings to the table, but having your own life in order is a HUGE head start. Most of all, having your relationship with your partner in order, is a HUGE MUST!  So don't forget to make sure that is at the top of the list...

After some thought, here is my (evolving) Baby Bucket List...

  • I claim ALL of the items on my friend's bucket list. 
  • Have baby number one off the boobs for at least a month. Yes, one glorious month of not nursing so I can do what I want... not be latched-on to a set routine.
  • Take a weekend away with my husband. Ok the man-child can come too, but I need a short holiday away from my life, before I go adding to it. 
  • De clutter.  I need to streamline my house before one more baby anything comes IN the door. 
  • Create a baby savings account that I add to every month, so when baby arrives I am not panicking about finances. 
  • Get the man-child enrolled in daycare at least two days a week.  
  • Have a balls-out prebabylorette party to remind myself that being a mom is SO much better than being a drunken washed up barfly with a raging hangover and no toenails... OK, wait.  All I really need is to just think about that, and I am more than happy to just stay home on the couch with wine and cupcakes. 

Home is good. 

So... what does your Baby Bucket List look like?


Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit