I have always lived by the philosophy, Live and Let Live. I don’t like being judged, so I don’t judge. My second philosophy; Do unto others, as you would have done to you. Life is way to short to spend it wrapped in others lives. Who cares what someone does if it doesn’t affect you in the slightest? Get over yourself.
So again I ask, Who are we to judge?
I’ll tell you who we are to judge, we are mothers. We are passionate new mothers striving to be the best mother in the world… no galaxy! We all want to believe we are doing the very best we can, making the very best decisions possible and providing the most nurtuing and safe environment for our child. Anyone doing otherwise or standing in our way, naturally would piss us off!
I used to want to punch the, “know it all” mothers on the pregnancy forums in the nose for being judgmental. They always had something self-righteous to say. I would see their responses and think, “who the hell are you to judge and be so nasty?!” Well, I suppose now I get it. I don’t agree with that behavior, but I get it.
I hate to admit it, but since the birth of my son, I too have become very judgmental. I see mom’s doing wrong and think, “shame on you!” I talk to moms who are trying their own methods that I think are completely Whack-O, and think, “shame on you!” I hear stories on the news about bad moms and dads and think, “shame on you!” I see children in stores or on the street going bat shit crazy, while the parents are self absorbed… “SHAME ON YOU!”
Here is the main difference between me and the forum know it alls, I only think it. I would never, ever, pass my judgment on. I currently have a friend who is raising her child in a manor I just do not agree with, at all. It kills me to keep my mouth shut, but I have to, I have absolutely no right to tell a mother how to raise her child.
I am not proud of this behavior, but I realize since becoming a mother, I have a new found love for every child and their well-being. However, unless a child is in danger, I will keep my big fat self-righteous mouth shut!
All that being said… Yes, here comes an evil rant!
OH MY GOODNESS! PEOPLE! Really? Holy crap you need your head checked! Seriously, who does that? OH, eff me, really? I cannot believe you call your self a mom! Strangers do not count as babysitters! Neither do dogs! You cannot possibly call that a “home remedy!” OMG, WTF, have you used your brain today?
All of the above are comments I have been holding in my head. (Yes, I do feel heaps better!) I see, read, and hear the most shocking parenting on a weekly basis. Yes, I know I am a judgmental monster! But, alas, I am a judgmental monster with zipped lips… and it’s my opinion that is how we all should be. To Each Their Own… crazy, nutty whacky parenting methods… ; )
13 comments:
Oh my life, is that new photo Ollie? He has grown so big! He is GORGEOUS!!!! You must be such a proud mummy :-)
Now, onto your blog topic... when I first started reading this post, I disagreed with you and thought that no, I'm not any more judgemental than I was before. But as I kept reading, it dawned on me that while I still don't sweat the 'small stuff' when it comes to other peoples parenting choices, I have become a lot more black and white in my judgement of others on big issues. I'm completely with you on keeping opinions to myself (unless somebody else hits me up first, then it's game on lol).
And yes yes YES on the thoughts! Lol, sometimes you just wanna slap some people, don't ya? ;-)
Love that picture of Ollie!
My blog post today is about breastfeeding judges. I physically could not breastfeed. And I want to rip someone's face off when they judge me for bottle feeding because they do not know my story!
That's how I try to approach my judgmental thoughts, I do not know that person's story. And even if I did, it's not my place. But having been a childcare provider I know it is your place, it is actually the law for childcare workers and teachers, if you think the child is in danger.
love the new layout! thought i'd share a fun article :)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kara-gebhart-uhl/mom-judgments_b_1319775.html
I think it should be the law for everyone to report someone if they are endangering a child!
That's Ollie's normal face now, just laughing away at us!
Like you I don;t sweat the sall stuff, but my black and white vision have become very sharp! And, absolutely I want to slap away!
Thanks for this post! So honest and true. All mothers believe they know best. Period! Some speak on it, and some don't. That's a universal truth!
Loved that! Thanks Esther
Interestingly enough, there is talk of making it law here for people to report abuse. It all stemmed from a few cases where families closed ranks after a child (or 2 in some cases) was/were killed at the hands of a family member, so that the police couldn't charge anyone.
Shay, I forgot to get back to you ont the abuse issue. It's bad here as well. It's sick. It should be a law world wide.
I appreciate this post so much... I, too, try my best not to judge, but sorry- it's nearly impossible. BUT- that being said- I know there are reasons behind everything a person does- and it's not my place to judge things as long as they do not harm a child. Just like foodpixie said, people pass judgment about things they don't understand- as with the breastfeeding issue. Just like I was judged by people who saw me in the grocery store when Chase was a couple months old- but looked like he was a couple days old. They didn't know anything, but assumed I was a terrible mom taking my newborn out. Anyway- we have to do our best to keep the innocent children safe, so sometimes that nagging feeling has a place and needs a voice.
Horrible isn't it?! The biggest issue with the obligation to report here seems to be a 'not my job' mentality. As in, teachers must report, doctors must report, sport coaches must report, but don't ask me to do it, it's not my problem. Sad, but true.
Do people really judge for taking a newborn out, because quite honestly? I've taken babies of less than a week out. A lot. My first was born in June and my husband and I went out to a restaurant, went for ice cream, went to the book store, and went shopping before he was a week old. Since he was so quiet and happy to sleep and we were formula feeding due to problems with breastfeeding, we just continued with our lives. My second did not get out as much but she was still out there pretty early.
I work in a grocery store and once saw a 4 year old flip a cart with a few month old baby inside while the mother was down the aisle yelling on her phone. I wanted to die! Fortunately the baby was ok. But, I've never wanted to scream at someone more in my life!
Shannon
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