7/24/17

The First-Timer's Guide To Not Feeling Like A Parenting Failure




It's so hard for me to believe my son is five-and-a-half. I remember bits and pieces of the first two years, but the last three have been a fast-paced growing, learning and blossoming blur. And, well, maybe a few memory blackouts to preserve my sanity--the toddler years were, so fu*king insane at times, rough.

I say it all the time, being a first-time parent is some scary, miraculous, out-of-this-world sh!t. The overflowing love between parent and child is unexplainable. The fear is heart-stopping. The is-my-baby-ok paranoia is all consuming. Every single milestone and phase never cease to blow your mind.

No doubt about it, being a parent is such an amazing journey filled with many, many trials and triumphs. Lucky for me, almost all of those trials and triumphs have been recorded on this blog. On occasion, I go back and read through a few of the posts from the first few years of motherhood and laugh at myself. Oh, how confused, naive and lovestruck I was through most all of it.

But what the first-time parent isn't?

There is no such thing as the perfect parent or foolproof guide to being a parent. There never will be for one simple, undeniable reason; every child is different with different needs, likes, dislikes, preferences, and abilities at various ages. There is no blanket cure for colic, sleeping through the night, calming, rocking, swaddling or changing. Which brings me to the only predictable thing about being a parent, it takes a whole lot of trial and error and loads of forgiveness for yourself, partner and child.

Now that I'm finishing up my pregnancy book, The First-Timer's Guide To Pregnancy: It's totally normal to freak out and dream of clawing your partners face off. I'm beginning the book I'm most excited to start, The First-Timer's Guide To Not Feeling Like A Parenting Failure: If You're not freaking out about being a horrible parent and second guessing yourself, you're doing it all wrong.

The struggle for balance is real. For every parent.

Over the next few months, to compile the content for the new book, I'm going through the first three years of blog posts to pull out the best and worst moments, milestones, phases, fails, trials, triumphs. I plan to not only use them in the book, but take myself down memory lane and see what I would say to my new-mother self if I could go back. What would I do differently? Will I feel better about the decisions I second guessed, or will I tell my old self how wrong I was?  Will I be less hard on myself in the future?

Every day, I'll publish a new post going in chronological order with the original post from the early days, when the hubs and I were new parents, then, add my observations five years later-- a seasoned parent with way more confidence and mom-methods. (Note: The usual rants, reviews and current parenting events will be published weekly, too. Back-To-School tips, hacks, budget savers and freak-out posts coming soon. The little man is going into Kindergarten.)

Please, help me make the first ever baby book that primarily focuses on life as a first-time parent and the many emotional ups and downs associated with being a new parent. This is not a book about how to swaddle and bounce baby on the edge of the bed to get her to sleep, this is about the parent and how crazy their new existence is. My goal is to stop newbies from beating themselves up, reinventing the wheel, and feeling alone in this insanely magical journey.

The first year can be such hell if you're on your own, unsupported and/or ultra confused. I want so bad to be the voice that helps those isolated, unsupported and confused parents know they are not alone. Not even close. This shit is hard for everyone! And don't even get me started on Postpartum depression... yet. No doubt that will get a HUGE chapter in My book. After all, PPD made up a huge chapter of my life.

I'll focus week-by-week including all milestones, phases, trials and triumphs I encountered along the way. I hope you'll join me in this trip down memory lane, or better yet, learn from my mistakes! Old parents and parents of multiples and New first-time parents I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear from you. All thoughts, tips, tricks and comments will be much appreciated, and who knows, may even end up in the book!

Now, a sneak peek of what's to come. This is my first post... pre-baby and full of facts, ideas, and plans. That soon, for the most part, will be thrown out the window.

Then: January 25, 2012

Hello, Everyone! We are expecting our first child, a boy, on or around February 1, 2012.

I do want to play fair right out of the box by telling you; we are not even a little bit right in the head! We have no idea what we are doing. My husband is a silly Australian who takes very little seriously. I am a Type-A American with loads of unnecessary anxiety.  I expect this blog to be 100% what not to do as a first-time parent.

Please do not come here looking for answers to any child rearing quandaries, unless you are happy reading between the lines of,"Oh no they didn't try that!" and "That poor child has a long 18 years ahead if him," for answers. We are not doctors or professional anythings! I am just a passionate writer who is not afraid to let the world know how goofy my husband and I are.


Now: July 24, 2017

So far, so good. I'm glad to know even back then, I was sure I was going to be hot-ass first-time parent mess. Let the games and the trip down memory lane begin. I hope you will join me!


April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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