Oh no they didn't! Dear God, they did...

What exactly is it you ask?  IT'S A POTTY!!!!  An iPotty for iPad to be exact.  Don't believe me?  Here is the product description from the company...and my thoughts while reading it. (FYI: This is not a product review. FAR FROM IT!)


Observations of a First Time Mom... The second time around...

(A few months ago a long time reader, and now friend, (who I will refer to as The Star Wars Momma) emailed me to let me know she was pregnant.  Needless to say, I was over the moon excited for her and her now growing family. I asked her to keep me posted every step of the way, and speaking of posted... would she be open to a guest post or two on either TiredofBeingPregnant.com or FirstTimeMomandDad.com. Being the bad ass that she is, she said sure! 

I am so excited to share with you a post she wrote for me... us. This post is about the top 5 things that surprised her about pregnancy the second time around. With her permission, I have taken the liberty of adding my comments directly to this post, so it is sort of an open conversation between the two of us.  My comments will be in this beautiful purple color after each point she makes. I present to you, The Star Wars Momma's post, with my 'post bombing' comments... )

I stumbled across April's blog Tiredofbeingpregnent.com over 2 years ago when I was pregnant with my first baby and desperately sick of being pregnant. I instantly knew I was going to be a lifetime follower of April's blogs. Her true-to-life observations about being pregnant and non-candy coated experiences of being a first time mom had me hooked.

We bonded instantly over our disdain with being pregnant, having hubbies obsessed with Star Wars and both expecting beautiful baby boys just days apart. Today, I am a FTM.... now going through this the process a 2nd time around. In less than 9 weeks I will have two boys 18 months apart. I know.... I am certifiably insane. But here for your reading enjoyment are my observations of doing this the 2nd time around...

4D of Baby #2...


It's our 500th Blog Post! I agree... you should be compensated for humoring us this long.

Honestly. I cannot even wrap my head around the fact that I am typing out our 500th post!  

Holy. Shit. 

I don't even know how this happened! I am just sitting here staring at the computer screen speechless. No, now I am laughing because of the irony…  I am speechless because I was not speechless… 500 freaking times! 750+ times if you count the 250+ posts I wrote on tiredofbeingpregnant.com.


I'll be honest, I always say I am going to stop writing the blog.  I declare to FTD I am finished with blogging and going to focus 100% of my effort on finding a "real job," and then I get a snack and write a post.


As a member of the Sisterhood of the Motherhood, I have seen enough!

Dear Kim Kardashian,
I would like to first start by saying as a rule, I try to avoid the news and media because 99% of it is false over-inflated bullshit to fill air time, but when I saw the repeated headlines about you and your pregnancy I tuned in to see what the noise was all about.  All I have to say is... those motherfuckers! What the hell is wrong with them? So what if you are gaining weight and a little hormonal, you are GROWING A HUMAN INSIDE OF YOUR BODY! Girl there is no such thing as a pregnancy filled with happy days, rainbows and unicorns!  It’s more like hormones, cravings, back aches, swollen everything and exhaustion, with a side of headaches, constipation, hemorrhoids and stuffed duck discomfort 24/7.


UPDATE: Weaning is not for this wussy...

As most of you know, I earlier this week I posted about my push to wean my son from nursing at 15-month old-- Weaning is NOT for Wussies. Thanks to all of the wonderful comments from readers supporting both my choice to wean, and reasons not to wean, I have decided that since both Oliver and I are not fully ready to part with nursing, I am not going to force the issues. That's right, no weaning for us just yet...


The best invention for moms and dads EVER... Top 10 Reasons Why

                                                                       BABY WIPES

My friends, I am here to tell you that Baby Wipes are the best damn invention ever.  EVER!  There is nothing a baby wipe cannot clean. Over the past week I have used baby wipes for so many things, that tonight I actually looked over at FTD and declared that those little wet squares of wonder are the best damn mom invention in the galaxy.  

When he was finished laughing at me, he asked why. I would now like to share with you the same top 10 reasons I gave FTD.

 Five bucks says you will totally agree, or learn something... or both! 

Baby Wipes.
The greatest little BIG things ever


Create A Mommy Survival Kit For A New Mommy

Create A Mommy Survival Kit For A New Mommy
(Today I am letting a Guest Blogger wow you with some tips for building a mommy survival kit! Marcela De Vivo is a freelance writer from Southern California who writes on everything from marketing and social media, to gaming and technology, to health and fitness. As a mother of three, she understands how hectic things can be, especially for a new mom.)

While it’s standard for babies to already be showered with presents, why not go one step further and spoil the baby and new mom with a custom-made gift basket?


Weaning is NOT for Wussies.

After Oliver's first birthday I wrote about how I was determined to wean him from nursing. (Weaning from Nursing-Step 1: Stop Messing Around!) While I was serious about wanting to wean him, I was not as determined as I thought I was.  Weaning your child from the breast is not awesome, and no matter how much you want to wean, it takes serious determination.
How in the hell do I say NO to this face?!


Mommy needs to get out of the house before she loses her....

Shit. (We all know I already lost my mind when Oliver ate it while incubating in my belly.)

Over the last two weeks FTD and I have had so much going on between having his family in town, my birthday and a few city wide events.  This busy schedule has breathed new life into us, actually Oliver too.  It's like we have been hibernating in a cave all winter long and forgotten the importance of a adult interaction.

A few days ago a girlfriend took me out for drinks to celebrate my birthday. While we were out I ran into an old girlfriend who I kind of fell out of touch with when I got pregnant. You know, she was still single and going to happy hours, I was knocked up and going to the bathroom to pee or puke every five minutes... So she says to me, "Oh my gosh APRIL!  I have not seen you in forever!"  I started to say, oh it has not been forever... and then I realized IT DAMN NEAR HAS!  Twenty-five months to be exact. Ten months of pregnancy and 15 of being a mom, that makes 25 freaking months of lame-ass-mom-ness! FYI that is 750 days.
My girlfriend took this photo to
"prove that I actually did leave the house without Ollie and FTD"


Easy Kids Crafts...DIY for Dummies-Wordless Wednesday Edition

When it comes to arts and crafts, I am a complete Dong.  I mean I am about as crafty as a rock.  I wish that was not the case, but unfortunately all I can come up with is that when God was handing out Craftiness I thought he said Trashiness, so I said I would pass.

Don't get me wrong, I like to use a hot glue gun as much as the next girl, but sadly, I end up making a pile of colorful ka-ka. So when I came across a super cute, and what seems to be a super easy, craft project, I was inspired! Check this out...

I was so inspired by this little foot print project, I wanted to find more super cute craft projects I could complete with a minimal amount of crafty talent! I set out on a Google search for "Crafts for Dummies" and "Easy Crafts for Kids" and other assorted phrases.  My friends I found some really great shit!  These projects are so great that there is really no explanation necessary--Hence the Wordless Wednesday part.

I'm tellin' you, I bet you can just look at these craft projects and figure out how to duplicate them too...


The Top Baby Names of 2012 according to the US Social Security Administration are out!

The Top Baby Names of 2012 according to the US Social Security Administration are out!
For those of you who read my Tired of Being Pregnant Blog, you know what a pain in the ass it was for FTD and I to name Ollie.  I hated his names, he hated mine.  We could not even agree on a short list! When we went into the hospital for delivery I was set on Finley and He was set on Oliver, and neither one of us was going to budge! Then fate reared it's ugly head in my face... the mother in the delivery room next to us had just given birth and named her baby Finley.  I was crestfallen...

The only thing FTD and I could agree on when it came to naming our son was that we didn't want a popular name.  We wanted something different, but not too different, like Coconut- we aren't famous we couldn't pull it off. So when the baby next door was born with my name, I caved.  Oliver it was.


This One Thing Can Change Your Life. RIGHT NOW! #FixYourThoughts

As a rule, to not offend anyone, I try to keep religion out of this blog, however, today, I'm going to bring a little bit of religion, but please stick with me, because in the end this post relate to absolutely anyone reading…

Everyday I receive a daily bible devotional, via an app on my iPhone, that constantly reminds me that life is so much more than the little corner of the world that I live in, and that life is pretty awesome if you have faith. One devotional gave me such a reality check, I thought I would share it with you:


Baby Trend Sit N' Stand Stroller Review & #Giveaway!

I am so excited to bring you today’s review of the Baby Trend Sit N' Stand stroller.  I am positively in love with it.  When the opportunity was presented to us to review a stroller from Baby Trend, FTD declared we needed a Sit n’ Stand stroller.  I was not so sure since I use the hell out of our lightweight one.  Then FTD started talking about the features of a Sit N' Stand, Oliver’s needs and what kind of stroller would be the best long term for our family. I started to see things his way…

  • Ollie is growing up and getting restless in his stroller.  The Sit N stand allows him to have options,   and it makes it easier on us not having to get him in and out repeatedly on walks through the zoo or park.
  • In the event that we have a baby 2 (Don’t get any ideas just yet you all!)  The sit n stand is made for just that. We can put a newborn carrier in one section (Front or Back!!) until the baby is big enough to sit upright, while Ollie sits (or stands) in the other.
  • For traveling across the world, or just through the airport, the sit n stand holds our luggage.
  • The stroller is perfect for our family now and later.

FTD chose The Baby Trend Sit N' Stand® Ultra Stroller- Reseda Item #: SS66436.


All I want for Mother’s Day is a Hall Pass.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been repeatedly asked if I have any big Mother’s days plans. I always answer with No, but secretly think, yeah do my best to hide form my husband and child. I know I must sound like an ass of a mom for this, but hear me out. If I should spend Mother’s Day lovingly embracing my son, thanking God every minute for the amazing blessing that he is -- Read: with my son hanging from me, whining to be picked up, changing diapers and playing with Hot Wheels-- then what the hell is the difference from every other day? I am a full-time SAHM mom; I am lovingly embracing my man-child 24/7! Again I say, HALL PASS PLEASE!

Is it me, or does that really read, Haul Ass?


SAY IT! Come On Spit It Out! Oh, wait… maybe not that…

I have not had a chance to talk about Oliver’s 15-month well-baby check-up last week. Our little man-child is 29 ½ pounds and 33 inches long, putting him in the 95 percentile for boys his age.  When the pediatrician asked the normal slew of developmental questions FTD and I were proud to answer each question with YES! Then, when Ollie’s doctor asked if we had any questions or concerns I told him I had one, his vocabulary, or lack thereof.

For example here at his doc appt.
if Ollie could talk he would have told FTD to put him down
so he could escape before the vaccination. 

Instead he wiggled and fussed.
Same thing.


I went toe-to-toe with a pile of pregnant women and survived!

As most of you know, over this past weekend I delivered a speech on, "preparing for pregnancy." I thought I would share the experience with you...

I walked into the venue and hour early to find about 15-20 vendor tables and what looked like about 50 attendees.  Most of which were very pregnant women, I'd say the majority looking like they were 30+ weeks along.  I started to get a little nervous because I had prepared a speech about, planning for pregnancy and what to expect per the event coordinators request... these women already knew what to expect when they were expecting! 

I quickly found the event coordinator and was shown to the auditorium where I was going to be speaking  After a sound check she left me and my girlfriend to relax before the speech began. (We had just driven 2+ hours and needed some time to unwind.)  The room was set up with about 100-150 chairs. Each chair had a flyer placed on the seat cushion advertising the next big play being put on in that auditorium.  Ironically the play was called 'Menopause!"  Seriously I can't make that shit up!  

If only I looked like her when I was pregnant...
If only my waist looked like that now!


What to really Expect when you are Expecting...

As some of you know (My friends, family and Facebook Fans) I am the Keynote Speaker at a Maternity Fair tomorrow.  Since Speaking is my thing I am not nervous, just having one of the hardest times figuring out what exactly to say.  Well, no, I have plenty to say about pregnancy, but since Baptist Health wants me to talk about planning and preparing for pregnancy, I keep finding myself wanting to talk about morning noon and night sickness, constipation, raging hormones that trick you into believing your husband is a whackass Ogre who should be punished and so on...  Those are not good things! At some point during writing my speech I felt like I was writing a speech for a birth control convention. Not good! 

Thankfully, after a little more thought, and bad memory suppression, I was able to come up with a few good points.  I thought I would share...