WANTED: My Toddler's Mind And Listening Ears. He's Lost Both. Reward If Found.

Just when I think my three year-old is turning the corner from being a terror, he manages to lose his mind and listening ears!

I can't tell you how many times over the last near 6 weeks, I have thought about writing about how wonderful my toddler has become. The only thing that stopped me, was fear of jinxing myself. I did, however, tell a couple of girlfriends with toddlers the same age as Ollie, how wonderful and easy he had become. I even used the words easy and toddler in the same sentence!

 Oh. How. Foolish. I. Was.

It turns out, that calm was just eye of the storm. Or maybe just a short rest before he geared up for round four hundred and twelve of terrorizing me. Whatever it was, the easy days are done. Gone.

Here are the days of shouting NO! and not listening to a word FTD or I say.

And then there's the throwing and smashing things and running from me. It's like he has reverted back to his early toddler days. The only difference is that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt he knows better.  So now, IT'S WAR!

That's right, I'm coming out blasting! 

Yet, again, I'm finding myself in a full-on war of wits and patience with a damn toddler...


Yesterday, he jumped out of my car and bolted down the sidewalk. I told him to stop and come right back! He didn't even look back. By the time he was four houses down, I was afraid if I chased him he would run farther, so I did the next best thing; I threatened to throw his bike away.

Thankfully, that got his attention.

He turned right around, running towards me and begging me not to throw his bike away.  When he made it back to me, I don't know what got into him, but the little butthead turned back around and took off AGAIN!

This time, I chased him. Of course, he thought it was funny as hell, and started running faster while laughing.

Really? Really.

To add insult to injury, my neighbor with the perfectly well-behaved boy Ollie's age was in the center of his yard watching the chase.


When I finally caught up to him, I scooped him up and stomped home, not saying a word. I was afraid they would all be really filthy, because those were the only words circling my head.

Once inside the house, I got down to his level, just like the damn parenting book said to do, and made eye contact while explaining why it was super naughty to run from me and even worse not to listen, and how he could have been hit by a car backing out of the driveway, followed by a bunch of other things I needed to say to feel better.

I'm pretty sure all he heard was, Blah, blah. blah. blaaaahhhhh blah blah blah.

It's like I talk in Charlie Brown speak to him!

The last week has been awful. I can't figure it out. What's happened to my generally sweet toddler? It's like his ears are clogged with crazy brain.

Being that I have already been through a version of this kind of crazy with him when he turned two, I know how to handle it. And, that it won't kill me. Even if it feels like it.

This toddler business can really suck sometimes, but one this in for sure, I have been to the battlefield before, and won and I will do it again. It's back to basics; consistency, time outs for both him and his favorite things, and hold on tight to my sanity until this toddler storm passes...

April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com