What Happens When You Ask A Toddler Questions About Daddy. #FathersDay #Hilarious

Yesterday, while researching #DIY Father's Day Gifts for Ollie and I to make FTD, I came across a list of question that I originally thought would a super cute idea. Then, I thought about what my three year-old's answers to the questions might be, after all, we are talking about Ollie and FTD here.

So, I decided to test my theory and ask Ollie the questions. Lets just say, I was right. Insane hilarity ensued.

Without further ado, answers to the questions:

1. My dad is funny because, "he farts REALLY REALLY loud on the cat." (My best guess is that he made farting noises while joking about farting on Professor.)


2. My dad thinks I'm funny when, "I make farts come out of my bum." (That'll be right. We have many a fart noise making contest. As much as I could blame his obsession with farts and bums for these first two answers. they are both spot on.)

This was the pull-my-finger trick at a party. And the worst part is FTD makes the loudest, longest most obnoxious fart noise, followed by an enormous sigh like he just blew his asshole out. And yes, I hate myself for laughing every damn time. It's a freaking wonder people invite us anywhere.

3. My dad is "SIX" years old. (That'll be right!)

4. His favorite thing to is, "Snapping off massive poo poos in the toilet." (Again, I want to blame the toddlers toilet obsession, but again, I think he may just be right on this one too.)

5. His favorite color is, "Red." (Whoa? He didn't say "poo poo color?", I'm choked since thanks to question #4, it took me five minutes to stop him from taking about "snapping one off," and coral him back into focusing on the questions. )

6. My dad's job is, "he fixes computers all day." (FTD is the IT director at a school for children with 'Learning Differences', he really does fix computers all day.)

7. He loves to eat, SAUSAGES! (No question about it, the man loves his, "Wurst". For those that don't know, FTD is a passport carrying citizen of both, Australia and Austria. He grew up with an Austrian dad and grandparents. Wurst (sausages) was a staple at the dinner table.)

8. He's really good at, "Doing Stuff." After a little coaxing, I got him to give me three things daddy is good at, "making sausages, making BIG poo poos and fixing my toys." 

9. My dad loves it when I, "Crack a Mono." (Ollie has a little glider bike that FTD taught him to pull up the front tire to, "crack a mono.")

10. My favorite thing about daddy is, "He lets me eat candy out of the pumpkin when you go to the shops." (We keep Ollie's 'treats' in a Halloween pumpkin on top of the refrigerator. Apparently, every time I go to the shops, FTD gets it down to let Ollie pick out a piece of candy. FTD. YOU'RE SO BUSTED!)

I cannot recommend enough that you ask your child the same question, or questions like them. I seriously have not laughed so hard, and for so long in ages. Kids say the best stuff!