In fact, I'm borderline socially awkward, and I don't only mean in a social anxiety sort of way. Not only is my behavior and appearance socially awkward at times, I make people feel awkward when they have to point out my public fails.
Allow me to explain with today's' Top 10 Tuesday list of ways being a mother has made me socially awkward:
1. Thanks to a rough night with a sleepless child, you walk into the grocery store and realize not only have you not brushed your hair, you didn't even bother looking in the mirror before walking out the door. To everyone else you look clearly confused and homeless.
2. When you meet girlfriends for lunch--after running errands all morning--and one of them reaches out to pull a sticker (or two!) off your butt... #ClassicMomMoment
3. It's been so long since you've had a drink, half of one turns you into the blabbering town drunk. Your friends understand, but the bartender immediately offers to close out your tab and call a cab.
4. You officially have no clue what teenagers are talking about thanks to their new fancy slang... the Disney channel has yet to explain. Which sucks since that's the only channel you watch. (Dammit, I used to be so cool.)
5. You realize after ten minutes of driving, you're jamming to toddler tunes... without your child in the car. The cop next to you, even though he sees the child seat in the back seat, is questioning your stability behind the wheel.
6. The last time you had time to shave your legs your first child was conceived.
7. You are so excited you took a five-minute uninterrupted shower, you tell everyone.
8. When your girlfriend picks you up for a night out dancing, you shout, "YOU PICKED UP THE WRONG GIRL", while running as fast as you can to her car. It's your first night out in 5 months. To everyone else watching you dance like a freaking maniac on the dance floor, it looks like your first night out in three years... from jail.
9. Even though you swore you would never ever wear your PJ's out of the house, you find yourself in Walgreens at 9:30 in your pajama pants frantically searching for children's Tylenol. But to everyone else, you look like a crazy lady on dirty crack frantically searching for a fix.
10. You know way more about poop than pop culture.
