#EpicFail: My Toddler Thinks He's In Charge #ToddlerIndependence



My three year old is so firmly planted in the "Nos," he's ceased to remember any other words exist.

Ollie, Do you want to go to school? No

Do you want to go for a walk? No.

Are you going to be a good boy? No.

Over the last two weeks, the 'Nos' have taken over.  

Of course, the Nos are just a symptom of a bigger more annoying problem; Independence. My toddler is learning, loving and Asserting his independence like a freaking BOSS. 

He's desperate to prove that he's a big boy and completely in-charge of everyone and everything.

I think we all know what I have to say about that...

The other day my neighbor brought over cookies to share. The kid and I were out playing. Or really, I was watching ACT IV of his daily production of, I Can Do What I Want. Screw You And The Rules.  When he saw Mrs. Judy with cookies, he quickly called an intermission and came running...

Me: OH! So now you are going to listen to mommy? 

Ollie: No.

Me: No? Well, then you can't have a cookie if you're going to keep being naughty and not using your listening ears. 

Ollie: OK, I'll be a good boy. 

Me: Really? Promise you're going to be a good boy?

Ollie: No. HAHAHAHAHA  <Runs off>

My neighbor was FLOORED!  She couldn't believe the exchange. She was positive he didn't know the difference between yes and no.  I called him back over, to prove to her he knew exactly what he was doing. FYI: In the time my neighbor was over, Ollie had two timeouts and no cookies.  

I know the 'Nos' are just a phase, and all apart of my toddler gaining his independence and finding his way in this world, but holy shit. 

Ho. Li. Shit. 

I'm so tired of saying, Really, dude, are you kidding me right now? Only to get a 'NO!'  

In the last two weeks, my three year old has spent more time in timeout, than not! FTD is convinced he loves timeout. Ollie is convinced he's winning. 

I'm convinced this is just a phase, and in some horrible awful three-year-old twist of shit, this phase is somehow going to prove nothing compared to what my toddler has up his sleeve next.

Ah... the treacherous threes, I was warned... 

April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com