15 Things I Took For Granted Before Becoming A Parent

Who knew a child would not only turn my life upside down, but make it look like it too?! Needless to say, I love my incredibly spirited toddler and I most certainly love being a mother and I wouldn't trade it for anything... 


The kid is a tiny tornado! He never stops going. On the days the little tornado reaches F5 status, I can't help but think about how much I miss the time when...

  1. ...the back seat of my car didn't look like a child snack buffet exploded on it.
  2. ...leaving the house in less than five minutes was actually doable.
  3. ...I had regular play dates with MY friends.
  4. ...I didn't wonder every time I pick up my tooth brush if it's been used to clean a Hot Wheel
  5. ...I could eat cookies, candy or chocolate without having to hide it from a candy crazy little person.
  6. ...I didn't need to do the dishes and laundry every day or face mountains of both.
  7. ...I could shower without having a child talk to me the entire time.
  8. ...Professor (my 12yr old cat) was not constantly pissed off.
  10. ...I bought heels instead of "shoes I can catch a toddler in." I've actually said that to a shoe department attendant.
  11. ...EVERY window in my house didn't have tiny fingerprints on them.
  12. ...my house wasn't covered in tiny toddler land mines. 
  13. ...Porn randomly played in the background throughout the day. (Sorry, couldn't help myself.)
  14. ...I could say totally inappropriate shit whenever I felt like it. (See #12)
  15. ...I didn't need an excuse to go to Target alone... for hours.
Most of all... I miss the time when going to the grocery store wasn't a f*cking fiasco! 

Even though some days I want to run away to, Never Coming Back Again Island, I try to remind myself that one day I will have my house, car and peaceful showers back, and when I do, I will (in some ridiculously sick way), miss the constant clutter and chaos. Ah, Motherhood...

What drives you crazy enough to miss the ease of your childless days? 

April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com