FYI: The man is not right...
Me: What do you think about taking Ollie to the circus as a birthday gift?
FTD: Hell yeah! I love the circus.
Me: Really?
FTD: Hell, yeah! Are there going to be bears that dance on hot coals, monkeys swinging from the trapeze and a bearded woman?
Me: What the hell kind of circus do you go to?
FTD: What the hell kind of circus do you go to? You don't have monkeys, tigers and bears at your circus?
Me: Um... Well... I'll get the tickets.
I got off the phone with FTD and grabbed my computer to look for tickets. As much as I want to sit in the very front row, all I could think was, What if we get mauled by an angry tiger or a monkey riding a unicycle? I called FTD back to offer seating options.
ME: Where do you want to sit? The tickets are cheap, we could even sit front and center?
FTD: What if we get mauled by an angry tiger or monkey riding a unicycle?
ME: I love you. I can't believe you just said that! Thank you so much for validating my paranoia.
FTD: Where's it at anyway
Me: The Arena.
FTD: What? It's not in a tent?
Me: ...
FTD: It's in a tent right?
Me. ...Oh my God. You're being serious?
FTD: It can't be a circus if it's not in a tent.
Me: In America it can...
FTD: Well, it better still smell like animal shit and have Clowns running around pissing people off, or I'm leaving!
Me: Now, THAT nonsense I can promise.
I'll let you know how Ollie and FTD do at their first American Circus. Clearly, both of them are in for a HUGE surprise.
If you've ever been to the circus with a toddler please give us Tips, and maybe offer the best seating option. Should we risk getting mauled by a clown or tiger, or should we sit the next tier up?