Deep Thoughts, By FTD And ME: Ooh, The Circus! Wait With A Toddler... Are You Sure It's Safe?

When I saw the circus would be in town around Ollie's birthday,  I immediately called FTD to see if he was down to go to the circus. This is how the conversation went... and pretty much how all our conversations about events go when the American Version and Australian Version Are WAAAAAY different...

FYI: The man is not right...

Me: What do you think about taking Ollie to the circus as a birthday gift?

FTD: Hell yeah! I love the circus.

Me: Really?

FTD: Hell, yeah! Are there going to be bears that dance on hot coals, monkeys swinging from the trapeze and a bearded woman?

Me: What the hell kind of circus do you go to?

FTD: What the hell kind of circus do you go to?  You don't have monkeys, tigers and bears at your circus?

Me: Um... Well... I'll get the tickets.

I got off the phone with FTD and grabbed my computer to look for tickets. As much as I want to sit in the very front row, all I could think was, What if we get mauled by an angry tiger or a monkey riding a unicycle? I called FTD back to offer seating options.

ME:  Where do you want to sit? The tickets are cheap, we could even sit front and center?

FTD: What if we get mauled by an angry tiger or monkey riding a unicycle?

ME:  I love you.  I can't believe you just said that! Thank you so much for validating my paranoia.

FTD:  Where's it at anyway

Me:  The Arena.

FTD:  What? It's not in a tent?

Me: ...

FTD:  It's in a tent right?

Me. ...Oh my God. You're being serious?

FTD:  It can't be a circus if it's not in a tent.

Me: In America it can...

FTD: Well, it better still smell like animal shit and have Clowns running around pissing people off, or I'm leaving!

Me:  Now, THAT nonsense I can promise.

I'll let you know how Ollie and FTD do at their first American Circus.  Clearly, both of them are in for a HUGE surprise.

If you've ever been to the circus with a toddler please give us Tips, and maybe offer the best seating option.  Should we risk getting mauled by a clown or tiger, or should we sit the next tier up?

April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit