My Toddler Is A Wrecking Ball With Feet

My toddler is a wrecking ball on feet. No, he's like that Sonic the Hedgehog the way he runs, charges and barrels down anything in his way!

He charges me and everything in his path, climbs on humans, couches, chairs, tables, steps and low walls then JUMPS! Seriously, if he is not charging, climbing or clanging, he's sleeping.

My friends, I am worn-ass-out!

If I'm not chasing, catching or corralling my toddler, I'm sleeping... with his foot and hands repeatedly being shoved in my face.


It seems like the majority of the things I say in a day start with one of five things:

Stop that right now...

Get Down...

Don't Jump...

Come here right now...


I don't know what's gotten into him lately, but he's turned into a full-on wild boy. He is constantly climbing up things then jumping off. I nearly had a heart attack the other day when he jumped off, and easily cleared, three concrete steps! I'm not gonna lie; it was a very impressive jump. I kind of wanted to give him high-five, but not wanting to encourage that crazy-ass behavior, I held it together while explaining how jumping off steps, especially concrete ones, was incredibly dangerous

The worst of his new wild streak is the way charges me like a bull! He gets a running start from one end of the hall, then comes charging at me full blast. One day I'm standing in the hallway on the phone and, BAM!, he rammed me. This crazy charging continued for almost a week! While I think I've finally put an end to it, I'm pretty sure I'm permanently dented... And I'm not just talking about cellulite.

With only a few weeks until Ollie turns three, I see what the been-there-done-that parents meant about three and four being worse than two. When my kid turned two, he started testing limits. Now that he's near three, it's clear he is going smash the shit out of his limits and give me a heart attack in the process.

April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit