FYI: My Son is TWO. So Until He Turns Three (in 16 Days), DON'T CALL HIM THREE!

Post Disclaimer: The following post may read like a crazy rant written by a person who needs serious medical attention. Don't worry, I already know this, and from what I hear, acceptance of insanity is most of the battle. I am, after all, the mother of a crazy-ass TWO YEAR OLD toddler.

With Ollie's birthday around the corner, my family and friends are already referring to him as a, "three-year-old"  #Assholes

News Flash Family and Friends:  My baby is two, not three, so until he is three, he shall remain TWO.

Does this look like the face of a three year old?

It's so hard to believe it's almost been three years since I was the size of a small island...

It's hard to believe I still have not had a good night sleep.

It's hard to believe I have not  lost my shit like I threaten to do daily.

It's hard to believe Ollie doesn't have a sibling.  I was so sure I'd knock 'em out back-to-back. Now, there will be no more knocking.

It's hard to believe I still keep up his baby book.

It's hard to believe my ass is still so big.  Can I still call it, "Baby weight?"

Oh m gosh, sorry, this is not about my baby weight, this is about people calling my two year-old, THREE.

When people ask how old Ollie is and I say two, they look at me like, WOW! Two?

Yes, Two.  He won't be three until February. 

So, he's basically three then.

NO! He's basically TWO! 

So what if he will be three in a matter of days, he is still two.  Would you call yourself 40 one day before you turn 40?

No. No, you wouldn't.

Maybe it's me (usually it is), but I'm not ready to let go of Two. The time goes by so fast, so let me hold on to my last few days of Two.

P.s. If you are one of those people who hears Two, but pushes to find out the kid is almost three, DON'T CALL HIM THREE! They are only our baby for so long...

April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit