1.Tell them their baby is ugly
2. Judge them
3. Tell them how to raise their child
4. Compare your child to theirs. Every kid is different!
5. Undermine their authority in front of their child.
My name is April, and I am guilty of number 5...
Have you ever had a child over for a playdate that acts out, breaks something or does something so naughty their parent has to pull them aside to reprimand them, then out of now where you open your mouth and say, "Oh, don't worry about it, it's Ok."?
It turns out, that's not the best thing to say...
Since moving into our new home in May, we have had numerous parties and couples over for playdates. On those occasions when Ollie's playdate misbehaves--throws a ball in the house, hits, or breaks something-- instinctively, wanting to make my guest feel at ease, I say not to worry about it. It turns out, in doing so I'm undermining the parent by saying the naughty behavior is OK.
My trying to make the situation better, actually makes it worse!
Just this weekend, my sister and nephews were over for dinner, and Ollie farted SO LOUD at the table that ignoring it was impossible. It also didn't help that he proudly announced what he had done through plenty of laughter. Needless to say, my two nephews, 7 and 9, nearly fell out of their chairs laughing. Within thirty seconds of Ollie's announcement, the dinner table's conversation went right into the toilet... literally. While, I was trying to let Ollie know "We don't talk about our farts..." my sister was trying to corral her two boys.
Interjection...
It's really all FTD's fault... He recently taught Ollie the pull my finger trick. Farts haven't been the same since...
Once all was settled, wouldn't you know, Ollie fake farted to get the fun going again.
DAMMIT!
Conversation back to the sitter.
Again my sister started trying to corral her boys... When I told her not to worry about it, that Ollie caused the commotion and that I was sorry. She explained that it's important that she teach her boys not to travel into the shitter at the dinner table, regardless of who starts it or where they are.
Oh. Yeah. That.
I get it now. When a parent is in the middle of teaching a lesson, I need to stay out of it. Even if my kid is the instigator. As a parent, I have to admit, I appreciate it more when a parent respects me and backs me up, rather than telling my kid not to worry about it; no matter how embarrassing the situation.
What about you, do you butt in to make your guests feel at ease, or know better and butt out?
