I was maybe five when I started playing the, “I love you more than…” game with my mother. I would start off with, “I love you more than all the grains of sand in the world.” Then my mom would reply with something like, “Well, I love you more than all of the stars in the sky!” To this day, we still play this game. However, it was not until last year when I had a child of my own, did I realize that she was right, she did love me more…
So far in my 36-years of living, I have had some great loves; the first, of course, was my mother. My next loves were the handful of boys from grade school to college I was sure I was going to marry, and make babies with. Then, at 30-years old, along came my husband, my true soul mate, the great love of my life, no love could be better, or so I thought... There was one more love to come, just as amazing and profound... but in a much different, unimaginable way...
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| This is my bliss. |
When I hold my son close, I am filled with such an amazing and euphoric bliss. The rush of energy shoots out of my heart and down to my toes. I feel all tingly inside and numb at the same time. I could stay there holding him, feeling that blessed feeling forever. Or when my son runs over to me to give me a hug and a kiss, I am certain there is no better gift anyone can give me.
On a daily basis I find myself living two lives; my own, and one through my son. I get excited when he gets excited, I hurt when he hurts, I laugh when he laughs, and yes, at times, I cry when he cries. I love my son more than all of the words in the dictionaries across the world. I love my son more than all of the grains of sand and stars in the sky combined. I love my son more than I know, because everyday I manage to love him more than the day before.
The love I have for my mother, husband, dear friends and son are so completely different. And while I can explain the love and admiration I have for my them, I cannot come close to explaining the love I have for my son. When I try to wrap my head around the emotions I feel when I think of him or hold him close, my eyes fill with tears, my heart beats faster, and my body fills with adrenaline. Without a doubt the greatest blessing in my life is my son, and the love I have for him is truly magical. There is absolutely nothing in this world more profound and unconditional than the love I have for my child.
