I was maybe five when I started playing the, “I love you more than…” game with my mother. I would start off with, “I love you more than all the grains of sand in the world.” Then my mom would reply with something like, “Well, I love you more than all of the stars in the sky!” To this day, we still play this game. However, it was not until last year when I had a child of my own, did I realize that she was right, she did love me more…
So far in my 36-years of living, I have had some great loves; the first, of course, was my mother. My next loves were the handful of boys from grade school to college I was sure I was going to marry, and make babies with. Then, at 30-years old, along came my husband, my true soul mate, the great love of my life, no love could be better, or so I thought... There was one more love to come, just as amazing and profound... but in a much different, unimaginable way...
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| This is my bliss. |
When I hold my son close, I am filled with such an amazing and euphoric bliss. The rush of energy shoots out of my heart and down to my toes. I feel all tingly inside and numb at the same time. I could stay there holding him, feeling that blessed feeling forever. Or when my son runs over to me to give me a hug and a kiss, I am certain there is no better gift anyone can give me.
On a daily basis I find myself living two lives; my own, and one through my son. I get excited when he gets excited, I hurt when he hurts, I laugh when he laughs, and yes, at times, I cry when he cries. I love my son more than all of the words in the dictionaries across the world. I love my son more than all of the grains of sand and stars in the sky combined. I love my son more than I know, because everyday I manage to love him more than the day before.
The love I have for my mother, husband, dear friends and son are so completely different. And while I can explain the love and admiration I have for my them, I cannot come close to explaining the love I have for my son. When I try to wrap my head around the emotions I feel when I think of him or hold him close, my eyes fill with tears, my heart beats faster, and my body fills with adrenaline. Without a doubt the greatest blessing in my life is my son, and the love I have for him is truly magical. There is absolutely nothing in this world more profound and unconditional than the love I have for my child.
3 comments:
It really is the love to blow all other loves out of the water. I never knew how my mother felt about me until I became a mother, and the same will be true for my child.
Ahhh!! I'm officially tearing up at my desk over here! Lol
What a beautiful blog post! I couldn't help but tear up because from one mother to another, I know EXACTLY what you mean! There are a million ways to describe your love for your child but people still won't understand that there are ways you can't even describe it. It's much bigger than anything in this whole entire world. :)
I wrote Cooper a letter last month, to capture all my thoughts, feelings, observations and love for him before the baby arrives. I'm saving it for him to read when he is older. But I'm exactly the same as you, there aren't enough words. And I was a sobbing mess at the end of writing it lol
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