While doing research for an article, I came across the University of California Berkley Parent's Network. This network is jam packed full of information on EVERYTHING parenting. Some of it is dated, but still a great place to go for information. I would go into all of the different sections, but today all I want to talk about is my favorite super awesome section, the Jokes and Quotes Collection.
Funny is a freaking understatement when it comes to the UCB Parent's Jokes and Quotes Collection. Below I have listed some of the crazy things the children said...
Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. -Michael, 14
Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. -Andrew, 9
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. -Armir, 9
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. -Naomi, 15
Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when
she's on the phone. - Alyesha, 13
The following are quotes collected by a first grade teacher over the years. She gave her classes part of an old proverb, then let them fill in the rest.
As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You........ Mess It Up.
Better Be Safe Than........ Punch A 5th Grader.
Strike While The........ Bug Is Close.
It's Always Darkest Before........ Daylight Savings Time.
Never Under Estimate The Power Of........ Termites.
You Can Lead A Horse To Water But....... How?
Don't Bite The Hand That........Looks Dirty.
No News Is........Impossible.
A Miss Is As Good As A........ Mr.
You Can't Teach An Old Dog New........ Math.
If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll........Stink In The
Morning.
Love All, Trust........Me
The Pen Is Mightier Than The........Pigs.
An Idle Mind Is........ The Best Way To Relax.
Where There's Smoke, There's........ Pollution.
Happy The Bride Who........ Gets All The Presents!
A Penny Saved Is........ Not Much.
Two's Company, Three's........The Musketeers.
Don't Put Off Tomorrow What........You Put On To Go To Bed.
Children Should Be Seen And Not........ Spanked Or Grounded.
If At First You Don't Succeed........ Get New Batteries.
You Get Out Of Something What You........ See Pictured On The Box.
When The Blind Leadeth The Blind........Get Out Of The Way.
There Is No Fool Like........Aunt Eddie.
What crazy things have come out of your child's mouth?
