It's our 500th Blog Post! I agree... you should be compensated for humoring us this long.

Honestly. I cannot even wrap my head around the fact that I am typing out our 500th post!  

Holy. Shit. 

I don't even know how this happened! I am just sitting here staring at the computer screen speechless. No, now I am laughing because of the irony…  I am speechless because I was not speechless… 500 freaking times! 750+ times if you count the 250+ posts I wrote on


I'll be honest, I always say I am going to stop writing the blog.  I declare to FTD I am finished with blogging and going to focus 100% of my effort on finding a "real job," and then I get a snack and write a post.

 I. Can’t. Stop. Writing!

 I also keep writing because I have this certifiable tick... It's this running dialogue that keeps going on in my head. Not like I talk to myself, I just constantly think of blog posts, short stories, poems, an idea or two for a novel… once I even wrote a mini series! The list goes on, and the only way to quiet the running dialogue down is to write whatever I am thinking. Once I get it out, whatever it maybe, I can play angry birds, surf the net or watch Mad Men in peace for an hour or so before the beastly dialogue starts back up. 

FYI:  I have been like this since I can remember.  My mom bought me my first journal when I was 7 so I would have a place to put my wild stories.  More or less, she was tired of hearing them.  

Writing is what I truly love to do. You would have thought I would have gone to school for writing, but no, I went for a double major in Marketing and Business Management. I never thought my writing was good enough to make a living from, so I took the practical road through college and majored in something I could make money doing. Still, I realize now it is a shame I didn't even take one Creative Writing or English course, because my punctuation, syntax and grammar are for total shit! I guess none of that mattered when all of my writing was still no more than putting my running dialogue in my private journals…

Never in my life did I ever think I would be writing my 500th post as a "mom blogger."  You all, true story, I didn't even know this world of mom bloggers --9 million mom bloggers to be exact-- existed until I was a few months into writing this blog and I got my first fellow blogger chain-letter-like blogging award. That's when I saw a list of 11 other fellow bloggers getting the award as well, that to my surprise, were blogs just like mine.  The only difference was that they had catchy names - most of which had some sort of booze in the title... "Mommy Loves Vodka.”  "Diapers or Wine" "I drink and swear" I often think that I wish I would have known about this mommy blog network before becoming one for two reasons, 1. I would have picked a catchy fun name like the others 2. I would have put Fuck in the title so people would know right off the bat what they were dealing with.  

I digress... from what I don't know... I just think I am not going in the right direction with this current line of thought...

WHOOO HOOO! It is my 500th post and you probably deserve some sort of compensation for reading so much of my nonsense.  I especially owe lots of money to Jessika and Claire, you two have been reading my nonsense since July of 2010 when I was still complaining about constipation, gas and FTD being an idiot Neanderthal who could never understand what I had to go through to grow our child!  You two were my first two readers, and probably should have your heads checked for sticking with me this long.  

As for Shay, Becky, Foodpixie, Mrs. L, Ninja Kitten, Alissa, Lauren L and Esther, you round out the top ten of my first dedicated readers. shit… remember those good old days when I was sure pregnancy was the first ass kick of Karma my mom promised me I would get with my own kids?  I cannot believe you all are still here after all of my bitching! Head check for you too… Wait! Before you get the head check and you come to your senses, please know...  I love you.  Long. Time.

Ok, I am going to stop now because honestly, I really don't want any of you to come to your senses, I love writing and knowing you are out there encouraging me to keep going.  

I will just end this rant by saying…

Thank You so much to all of you who continue to come back to read this blog.  Because of you, I actually think my dream to be a proper writer may just come true one day... or really... because of you I feel like it already has....

This is me writing away in 2008 in Vocklabruck, Austria...
Who knew 2 weeks later I would meet FTD and the real story would begin...
(If you don't know the fairytale of me and FTD CLICK HERE)

OH!  This week we will be double posting our asses off!  With Father's Day coming up I have some really fun ideas for giving dad a really cool personalized gift. No more ugly ties!  But, I also know too many reviews without normal posts in between becomes annoying, especially for our non-U.S readers, so I am going to write a review and normal post every day this week! Look for my normal post first, then mid morning EST either I or FTD will post the product review-- all have a giveaway!  We are posting all of our big Father's Day ideas this week and next so you will have plenty of time to order, and possibly win, dad's gift in time to give it to him on Father's Day!


April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit