Crawling. (FTD POST!)

(I found this FTD post on Ollie learning to crawl buried in my Draft Archive.  I am not sure why it reverted to a draft, but it did, so here is, an oldy but goody FTD post.  FTD is working on new post for tomorrow right now...)

And....He's....OFF!  GO SPEED RACER!

How the heck did this happen so quickly?  Only a couple of short months ago the little guy had just learned how to sit up by himself!  Rocking about on his ample butt for a couple of seconds before slowly tilting and flopping into the ring of pillows strategically stuffed around him - laughing like an audience-member on Seinfeld!

Now it's game on!  I sit him on his mega playmat with an amazing assortment of bobble-heads, stuffed Koala's, flashing-noisy thingymejiggers, lightsabres, and redundant PS2 controllers and return to my internets for 10 seconds and...He's gone!  Ass up, knees shuffling away, arms swinging...

MAY I PRESENT TO YOU, Dear Readers...

The top ten list of exotic places my son enjoys racing to when I have to take a whizz or go on the internet to check my damn emails...

1) My pile of shoddy, well-worn thongs (flip flops for you yanks!), peeling rubber edges, tangy foot juice hard-baked on etc etc - Straight in the mouth.

2)  The right-front micro speaker to my 5.1 surround sound.  Mounted on a matching micro steel speaker stand, it makes for awesome baby excitements as he smacks it about the room.

3)  The cat food - Hmmmm...shall I have some dry kibble today or maybe try the "seafood platter" - why not both? Don't tell mummy!

4)  The corner of the coffee table.  Nice and HARD!  Good place to practice banging the head.

5)  TV Cable Box - Wow! Flashing lighty thingo's with buttons and I can reach it so it must be made for me to play with!  Fun to watch daddy having to set it up again every time I mess with it.

6)  Daddy's awesome collection of hundreds (if not thousands) of DVD's - Yep...has a nice feel to it when you rip the covers open and tear the dvd's out, flicking them about the room!

7)  Investigating the staggering assortment of power-supplies for laptops, monitors, printers, digital cameras, external harddrives AND MORE!!! A JUNGLE of fascinating wiring, LED's and FUN power boards! RIP EM OUT YEAH!!!!!

8)  Box of Cat-nip infested CAT-TOYS - "where are you now Ollie?", I ponder.  Only to see the cat running about wide-eyed and crazy!  There he is...sitting under the table ripping the guts  out of a fluorescent felt mouse.

9)  The stupid STUPID UN-baby-Friendly WIRELESS Router AND stupid STUPID cable box.  Like the bloody tower from the Original TRON...It is the center of his universe!  NO less than 35 High-bright flashing LED lights in RED, GREEN and AMBER! He MUST get there at all costs and topple the EVIL Internet Micro Peoples AT LEAST ONCE A BLOODY DAY!

10)  The Holy GRAIL - Daddy's Iphone!  Left in generally accessible places through his own stupidity, CANDY-RED SUPER EXPENSIVE HACKED IPHONE 4S 64Gig has flashy lights, plays video of Ollie, has pictures, sound, music AND you can see mummy on it sometimes too when she's yelling at daddy! BUT the main reason it's that it TASTES GREAT!!!!

Can't wait until they crawl huh?

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Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit