Monday Memories: Love...Valentines Day Sucks Ass!

Today's Monday Memories prompt from the wonderful Chrissy at Quirky Chrissy is, LOOOOOOOVE.  With this week being Valentines Day week, of course Love is in the air, and on our minds. I will be posting some love posts of my own. In fact, I just finished a post about 'A Mother's Love' for my women's writing collaborative, The Epistolarians. Since there will be so much sweet love going around this week, I thought I would share my memories of Valentines Day's Past...

As a rule, I hate Valentines Day with a passion... I mean, 'F' bomb blasting HATE Valentines Day.  Why?  Because there is not a man alive that can live up to my expectations... no matter how low I set them.  Ok, I admit, FTD is awesome, but so I can explain my case, lets just rewind all the way back to High School when I shed my first Valentines Day tear...

It all started my sophomore year of High School, I was new to the school and did not have a boyfriend, and only a few friends at the time.  For a special Valentines Day treat, we were given the opportunity to buy carnations to show our love and affection for each other.  The way it worked was at lunch time a week before Valentines day, we could buy as many Carnations as we wanted for a dollar each.  We had to fill out a slip with the 'To' and 'From,' then on Valentines Day they would be handed out in homeroom.  I bought ten for my girlfriends, because that was the thing to do.

Well, being the hopeless (and I mean HOPELESS!) romantic that I am, I was sure I had at least one secret admirer and could not wait for V-Day to arrive. On that beautiful V-Day morning in homeroom, the teacher had a HUGE pile of Carnations on her desk... I sat there patiently as the names of the popular girls and guys were called. One popular cheerleader biotch got like 50 Carnations!  I still hate her for that. Finally my name was called, I went up to the teachers desk to receive my bounty of carnations...

I got 2.

Yes, TWO! I think I may have cried in homeroom.  Even my girlfriends I bought flowers for didn't get me one.  God I hated high school! Pretty much that day sums up my last two valentines days in High School.

Fast forward to College- A guy I had been dating for almost two years broke up with me a few days before V-Day for a girl with a nice car and huge tits. Stupid slutbag! But on a high note, I did LOVE college!

To add insult to injury, I was a server and then eventually a bartender at an upscale restaurant through college. I would have to work every V-Day and watch those happy shit couples eat and drink and open gifts of diamonds and rubies. By the end of my shift I was inevitably a bitter jaded bitch. Because all I ever ended up with was the shit-hole guy I was dating at the time would most likely present a six-pack and a smile. (I sure could pick them!)

Ok, forget this trip down memory lane... I am getting all worked up!

Valentines day sucks ass because I am a hopeless romantic who has expectations that are clearly unmeetable.  All I ever wanted was a card, some flowers, maybe some chocolates, a nice dinner, bottle of wine and mind blowing sexy time!  Why is that too much to ask??  Seriously?

I do have to say, FTD is one of the most romantic men I know. All of those years of shit-holes made me really appreciate the romantic gestures FTD comes up with. Every year on Valentines Day he makes me a beautiful breakfast in bed and calls me Princess all day.  He is so wonderful... still a few diamonds on top wouldn't hurt anyone... just sayin... (So maybe I don't lower my expectations as low as I say...)

Even with a wonderful romantic husband, I cannot help but hate V-Day. So many years of feeling alone and being burned by dumb boyfriends has jaded me from the Hallmark holiday.  I would be happy to give up my morning of breakfast in bed and my day of being a Princess to save hearts from breaking. I know that out there some where on V-day there is a girl in Homeroom crying, because as beautiful as she may be on the inside, no one seems to recognize it. And in a college dorm room somewhere there is a girl crying because her stupid boyfriend thought a six-pack and a chick-flick would do the trick... I say down with V-Day because it totally sucks ass!

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Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit