As a rule, I hate Valentines Day with a passion... I mean, 'F' bomb blasting HATE Valentines Day. Why? Because there is not a man alive that can live up to my expectations... no matter how low I set them. Ok, I admit, FTD is awesome, but so I can explain my case, lets just rewind all the way back to High School when I shed my first Valentines Day tear...
It all started my sophomore year of High School, I was new to the school and did not have a boyfriend, and only a few friends at the time. For a special Valentines Day treat, we were given the opportunity to buy carnations to show our love and affection for each other. The way it worked was at lunch time a week before Valentines day, we could buy as many Carnations as we wanted for a dollar each. We had to fill out a slip with the 'To' and 'From,' then on Valentines Day they would be handed out in homeroom. I bought ten for my girlfriends, because that was the thing to do.
Well, being the hopeless (and I mean HOPELESS!) romantic that I am, I was sure I had at least one secret admirer and could not wait for V-Day to arrive. On that beautiful V-Day morning in homeroom, the teacher had a HUGE pile of Carnations on her desk... I sat there patiently as the names of the popular girls and guys were called. One popular cheerleader biotch got like 50 Carnations! I still hate her for that. Finally my name was called, I went up to the teachers desk to receive my bounty of carnations...
I got 2.
Yes, TWO! I think I may have cried in homeroom. Even my girlfriends I bought flowers for didn't get me one. God I hated high school! Pretty much that day sums up my last two valentines days in High School.
Fast forward to College- A guy I had been dating for almost two years broke up with me a few days before V-Day for a girl with a nice car and huge tits. Stupid slutbag! But on a high note, I did LOVE college!
To add insult to injury, I was a server and then eventually a bartender at an upscale restaurant through college. I would have to work every V-Day and watch those happy shit couples eat and drink and open gifts of diamonds and rubies. By the end of my shift I was inevitably a bitter jaded bitch. Because all I ever ended up with was the shit-hole guy I was dating at the time would most likely present a six-pack and a smile. (I sure could pick them!)
Ok, forget this trip down memory lane... I am getting all worked up!
Valentines day sucks ass because I am a hopeless romantic who has expectations that are clearly unmeetable. All I ever wanted was a card, some flowers, maybe some chocolates, a nice dinner, bottle of wine and mind blowing sexy time! Why is that too much to ask?? Seriously?
I do have to say, FTD is one of the most romantic men I know. All of those years of shit-holes made me really appreciate the romantic gestures FTD comes up with. Every year on Valentines Day he makes me a beautiful breakfast in bed and calls me Princess all day. He is so wonderful... still a few diamonds on top wouldn't hurt anyone... just sayin... (So maybe I don't lower my expectations as low as I say...)
Even with a wonderful romantic husband, I cannot help but hate V-Day. So many years of feeling alone and being burned by dumb boyfriends has jaded me from the Hallmark holiday. I would be happy to give up my morning of breakfast in bed and my day of being a Princess to save hearts from breaking. I know that out there some where on V-day there is a girl in Homeroom crying, because as beautiful as she may be on the inside, no one seems to recognize it. And in a college dorm room somewhere there is a girl crying because her stupid boyfriend thought a six-pack and a chick-flick would do the trick... I say down with V-Day because it totally sucks ass!
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