As most of you already know, I started blogging in July of 2011 when I got attacked in a mothers forum for complaining about my not so perfect pregnancy. I got so mad that I decided to start my own forum where I could say what ever I wanted. That day I gave birth to www.TiredofBeingPregnant.com. It became my place to say "Who ever said Pregnancy was rainbows and unicorns is an idiot! oh and P.s. I hate being pregnant today, suck it!"
I wasn't sure if anyone would read my blog, but just in case someone else was tired of being pregnant, I wanted to let them know they were not alone. Truthfully, not at all to my surprise, there were hundreds of thousands of women who where tired of being pregnant. So I just kept on writing. I didn't know at the time I would turn into this "Mommy Blogger" a year later.
Now I sit here typing to you, with collectively between the two sites, 300,000 page views, a facebook page and a twitter account for my websites. I just shake my head at it. I don't know why I decided to buy into the blogging world and it's dirty politics, but I did. I bought in late July 2012 after a year of blogging. I figured out pretty quickly that I needed to get a Twitter account, a Facebook account and to start rubbing elbows with other bloggers. So I did it. All three in the same day.
Quickly I learned I was in way over my head, there were hundreds of mom bloggers, and they were all fighting for readers, retweets, awards, mentions, facebook fans and followers. I joined Blog Hops, Blog Swaps, tried out for Blogger Idol, joined clubs, cults and clicks, I dug myself the biggest damn bloghole I could.
Then I realized, not only was I deep in the blog-o-sphere hole, I had become, what my friend and fellow blogger Ashley at Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others calls a Bloghole, a.k.a blogging asshole: Someone who is just out for followers and recognition for their own blog who leave pointless comments, begs for followers and likes, and is purely focused on the numbers, not the content and readers. I had lost complete touch with reality, with my readers. I put and end to that immediately.
Unfortunately, there are so many Blogholes, Faceholes and Tweetholes out there, that I still have a daily battle of fighting them and their comments off. On my blog I get crap comments with the persons name, tag line and website in the body on a daily basis. I don't even publish them anymore. On my Facebook I am constantly having to delete post about someones cause, book or product that they are trying to pawn off. And on Twitter, the spam messages are out of control with crazy mom bloggers playing dumb and dirty. It's all apart of the back stage bullshit a blogger has to deal with.
Recently I started getting tweets from random people listing 5 or 6 different names, mine included of course, saying "Thank you!," great right... too bad I have no idea who these. I am not following them, they are not following me... just crap tweets, probably looking for superficial followers to pad their numbers. I also get tweet saying if you follow me, or my friend I will give you 2000 followers. I don't want fake followers. I wasn't the popular girl in High scholl and don;t care if I am on twitter either.
Still, I learned pretty quickly twitter is a numbers game between bloggers. The majority of my readers who are just moms coming to read my daily rant, don't have twitter accounts. Of my nearly 500 followers, about 20 are my readers, the rest are bloggers and company's, all buying into the numbers game.
I have finally come to the conclusion that I don't want to play the game anymore. It's was fun while it lasted, but I don't want get all caught up in the backstage bullshit of being a blogger. I write because I love it. I love writing about my daily adventures in mommyland. But I barely have enough time in a day to be an awesome Mommy, me, wife and blogge, let alone spend so much time and energy playing into the Blog/face/tweetholes.
Listen up Blog/Face/Tweetholes who are reading this on your way to spamming me with crap to try to add to your numbers, if you really want to be the best blogger and have the most numbers in the game, ask yourself these two questions...
1. With 3.9 million mom bloggers out there, what makes you so special?
2. How are you going to set yourself apart?
When you find the answer to those questions, then you will win the game.
Want to read more about the politics of blogging? Check out my friend and fellow blogger Heather @ The B(itch) Log's post "My thoughts on Blogger Awards and Facebook Shout outs."
Like my blog? Please click on the lady's fat head to throw a vote my way!
16 comments:
I feel the same way. I don't have many followers and I probably never will. I am an analyst by trade, but I never thought my blog would become part of the "numbers game". Sure I want followers, but most importantly I want readers. I mentioned to you earlier that I enjoyed reading your blog and I do. I'm not a bloghole or someone trying to steal your thunder. I'm just a fellow blogger trying to get through this freaking ocean one post at a time.
Jae Mac, I'm Just Sayin'...(Damn!)
LOL- luckily I don't give two shits who reads our blog- it's just my journal/baby book for Chase- and a way to avoid having to call relatives and give them updates. There's not enough time in the day to try to be a bloghole- I hope! And honestly- you're down to earth and a "real" person, so don't worry about being "that" mommy blogger :)
I'm pretty picky about the mommy blogs that I read, you know...considering I'm not a mom and probably won't be for a while (...gotta get through that whole engagement, wedding, marriage, convince my boyfriend its a good idea thing). You make me laugh so much though. I like to think that we would totally be buds in real life! (Is that creepy? I don't mean to sound creepy!)
The thought of just how many mom bloggers are out here is mind-boggling! It's really amazing how much influence we have with social media. I hate to do this, but I have to respectfully disagree about the #FF part. :-0 Sorry! I get what you mean about it. Random followers that aren't my audience really don't mean much. But some of my best virtual friends/blogger mentors have come from Follow Fridays and were recommended by like minded followers. It may seem random, but they are just kindly spreading the word about my blog to their followers. Ironically, I found you and your blog via a #FF. I'm glad I did.
Oh April!! Once again love your honesty. Funny how sometimes we lose perspective. When I started my business the same thing happened to me. People started noticing me and pretty soon I was wrapped up in stalking different internet site to see if people were talking about me, how many people visited my website or blog, where my website ranked... It was exhausting! Eventually I had to stop caring and get back to what was important and that was my love for flowers and creativity.
I follow and read because I like you.. what you have to say... and the fact that you keep me laughing every day (wow that rhymed...) Anyway keep doing what you do because you love it and know that you are genuine your not out there just to grab the numbers!
I think your answer might be to stop writing on this blog and start another. Only tell the folks you like, and keep it very small. Concentrate solely on your writing, and only visit and/or follow other blogs that you genuinely enjoy. You'll probably want to keep something though, in case you ever want to go into freelance writing.
I understand being fed up with the politics. Don't get me wrong. I too get sick of being repeatedly followed and un-followed by people who are clearly not readers, not even occasional readers, and just want to pad their own numbers.
Thank you. You and All of the others who jumped on the crazy train at pregnancy are all I care about.
We are totally buds! I would sit in the snow drinking margaritas with you all day! And when you get knocked up... I will make you laugh until you pee your pants b/c that's what good buds do!
It's easy to get caught up in the excitment of joining the ranks. But then it looses it's luster and your life suffers.
I'm trying manage my life, writing and blog, The nubers are secondary.
Oh no, those true #FF or Friday Follows are the best! I look forward to them every friday. I think that is how I found you too. It's the fake ones where someone sends me annd #FF and doesn't follow me, or follows and them stops the next day. I don't get it. Or maybe I do, but I wonder if it's worth it.
I love this blog! I have no intention of stopping it! The twits and blogholes can follow me anywhere I go, just like problems. I refuse to let myself get sucked into it anymore. I love having hundreds of readers who have become friends and peers... Plus I am a fan of Go Big or Go home... Nothing on a small scale. Nothing!
I already do plenty of freelance. My book doesn't include my blog at all. My blog is an online diary of poor grammer and punctuation, I would never ever get work from it... I do have a book about pregnancy that came from my first blog, not that I have sold it yet..
Anyways, thanks for your comment.
Looking forward to it! Sort of. I don't know how I feel about peeing my pants! LOL
I just want to say that I hated being pregnant too and wish I could have read your blog. Being pregnant is anything but unicorns and rainbows...
Yep, the numbers game is alive and well. It's also a little silly and demoralizing at times. I just keep writing, keep my head down and hope someone buys a painting.
Great post!
Jeez I could NOT agree more. I used to get really frustrated at how I earned followers at a snail's pace. I started to think there was something wrong with me... that my writing sucked. And then I would go back and read my posts and crack myself up and I would start to think I'm awesome and wonder what the hell is wrong with everyone else for not recognizing my awesomeness. My feelings were vacillating rapidly between arrogance and insecurity. Now I just write what seems interesting to me, post it here and there, and that's that. I can't handle the anxiety that comes with giving a crap!
Welcome back! ;) You know I've never cared about numbers (and I think I have a readership of about 10, plus family) and I'm not into those blog awards either. It's important to do what you love, because you love it, and not because you want recognition or approval. The chase doesn't ever end, and there is little reward or satisfaction from people-pleasing anyways.
Glad you are out of the politics of this stuff.
PS - I never understood what #FF was! LOL. I think you tagged me once on Twitter. I didn't know what to do with it!
Amen to that!! I'm so not into the numbers game either....I do not have the time, and even if I did, I don't think I would enjoy it for one minute! The best thing I love right now is the wonderful friends I'm making and that's what keeps me motivated!! Great post!!
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