I HATE being pregnant!

(NO I AM NOT PREGNANT!  Over the last few days of 2012 I am posting my favorite all time blog post from both tiredofbeingpregnant.com and firsttimemomanddad.com. This will be a 'best of' chronicling the journey from knocked up to motherhood.

This post was my very first post on www.tiredofbeingpregnant.com, so no doubt I should start here. I read it now and laugh.  Man... Pregnancy was so not awesome for me.  I love my baby and am so thankful for that crappy pregnancy.  Anyways... this is the beginning of the journey of blogging and pregnancy all rolled into one great post! Oh! And for those who do not know, I started blogging about my pregnancy because I got pounced on in a forum for saying I was tired of being sick and tired of my pregnancy. I decided to start my own forum where I could say what I want. Dammit!)

I know I must sound awful. I know "Hate" is a strong word. I also know that I have been blessed with such a wonderful gift. BUT BUT BUT!!!! I can still loathe the shit out of my insanely uncomfortable pregnancy. Suck it forum princess I said it, I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED OF PREGNANCY! > : P

The only thing that makes me more sick than my pregnancy, is those women who "LOVED being pregnant!" OMG I don't want to hear it anymore. I also don't want to hear "it will get better." It sucks right now and that's all I have to say! I am 33 years old and 2 months pregnant. YES! I have 8 bloody months left! It freaking better get better!

I know one thing is for sure, it won't stay better. I have heard the first 3 months suck (which they do) the next three are great (remains to be seen/felt) and the last three are awful (don't doubt it.)

So far here are my top five observations of the first 2 months of pregnancy...

1. Morning sickness! 'Morning' only my constantly growing buttocks! More like 24/7 sickness!  

2. The new found stupidity called "baby brain." (My friend's husband says it's caused by the baby stealing the mother's brain while it's growing in the belly... It's true.) So far I stuck the freshly cut up watermelon in the microwave, the cereal box in the refrigerator, completely forgot where I was driving to, and that's just the last 72 hours!

3. Another of my pregnancy favorites is peeing 100+ times a day... with 90 of those times being between the hours of 10pm and 8am. I didn't really want to get a good nights sleep and stop being a bitch anyway.

4. RAGING HORMONES!! I have hysterically screamed, cried, and laughed all in a 3 minute period. WTF??

5. For some reason my pregnancy has shined a new light on my husband. I can now see that he is annoying, smelly, stupid, an inconsiderate jerk, a fool and a child. How did I not recognize these unforgiving traits before I married him. I am having a child with a child!! SHIT!!

 The list goes on and on... and freaking on, I just don't want to cry all over my computer and blow it up with pregnancy tears... I have a few months to continue to tell you about it, so stay tuned.

Who knows maybe it will get better.... Rainbows and Unicorns... Whatever says, my Rainbow Bright Ass!!!

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Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com