So. I hate the winter. I mean I full on hate the winter with a passion. The moment the mercury drops below 65 degrees, I turn into a raging miserable bitch. And really, that is just the beginning. When the last leaf hits the ground and the temperature drops below freezing, I'm near certifiable. It gets worse... By the first of February when the dead of winter is in full swing, I am a psychotic nut bag bitch that could easily get an insanity plea...
I have so much to bitch about right now... This post is going to be nuts, straight jacket worthy. You might just want to stop reading. Especially you grammar and punctuation police. I will make you ill for sure. And those of you who don't like foul language. You probably will want to stop reading too. I'm a real sour pus right now....
I hate the winter with such a passion. I am no longer fit for society. I should stop blogging right now before I get any worse....
The End.
Ok no. It's not the end, I've got some more shit to say!
What am I supposed to do with a child all winter long? Sit inside? Go to the mall and walk around? There are only so many laps I can do in the mall before people start pointing at me and calling me one of those "mall walker" people. Not to be confused with Walking Dead walkers... But close... same mindless foot dragging and drooling.
How am I supposed to lose the rest of my pregnancy weight when I am stuck inside with a baby, TV and a refrigerator? That's it, nothing but the worst combo ever. Baby, Food, TV... Muumuu here I come.... And what's up with the dry nasty air in my house for the next 4 months? How is Ollie expected to breath with a crusty nose? I wake up with cotton mouth from hell as it is, what's that poor baby dealing with? Man oh man, I hate the winter!
This morning it took 5 extra minutes to leave the house... Have you ever tried to hold a baby down while layering on an obnoxious amount of clothing? Not cool. Not cool at all! I miss flip flops and bare feet already.
 |
| I love watching mommy sweat. |
 |
| Ok, yeah. My car seat was really cold too. |
Oh and Winter = Flu season! Ollie has his first runny nose! Is this shit going to be the winter norm? Will I meet my deductible in two months time?
 |
| yeah. my nose is runny. sucks. |
 |
| For serious. I hate hats. |
I'm going to stop now... but this ranting and carrying on is not over... not by a long shit. (yes, I meant shit, not shot. shit.)
In other news... Brighter News....
Some wonderful person has nominated me for the honor of Circle of Moms Top 25 Family Blogs. Ok, I know it's a bit funny to talk about being in the Top 25 "Family Blogs" when I just dropped a shit load of "F" bombs all over this post. But, it's true.
18 comments:
Voted for you, but only cause I hate winter too. I have to admit I liked it a lot more when I could drive to a ski mountain but now that I'm stuck in the Midwest I'm not as impressed. Of course summer with no beach is torture too...
Thanks Karen. I'm in the mid east... flat and boring. I hate winter.
Voted! Ps. sounds like you need to move to the south lol hahaha poor thing...you wrote you hated winter but I can see why you hate it so much....didn't think about the baby and cabin fever ...poor thing!
Yeah...right now in my life i've always been from the south so the weather changes are nice...i'm loving it right now but...i don't have kids so....lucky me i guess...
Hope you have a good calm mild winter then hun xoxo feel better ...have some wine! xoxo
LMAO! I love you- you know this right? I cannot imagine- I was a cranky bitch when our highs dropped to the low 70's (bcz the nights are in the 40's)- I can't function in the cold :/ But... on the bright side, Ollie is effing adorable all bundled up :) LOL. I'll have to think of stuff to do for you- afterall, it's almost as bad as bedrest- freakin' cold weather... :)
LOL! I think this was my favorite post of all time. But I love a good F-bomb.
I agree with you and the whole winter thing. I hate it. (This doesn't mean I won't do stupid stuff like sit my bathing suit-clad butt on a pile of snow...but you know...whatever). Winter beats me up. I fall on ice a lot.
Oh my God.
Thank you.
I have been writers blocked like nobody's business, but now I know what I'm going to write about today!!!
hahaaa this made me laugh,i was expecting alot more "foul language".im by nature a horrible potty mouth as they call it.anywho there are easy fixes to your being stuck in the house,if any one you know is also a stay at home parent or just staying at home,make visits,bundle up the kid in the stroller and take him for a walk,seriously,it wont hurt him,this is coming from a veteran aunt of about 13 nephews,along with a few kids of my own,unless you absolutely hate walking out in it(dont blame you). have some friends over,have some wine or whatever makes you happy and just hang out..there is tons of crap you can do to keep yourself entertained. you just need to find it.
exercise dvds are your friend,ive stuck with insanity and am always happy with the end results.
Honey...
You forgot that we have a PlayStation 3 to keep us amused ALLLLLLLL winter long!
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
OMG, PS3 sounds like our house! Soooo great! I'm with you, wondering what I'm going to do inside all winter long.......with a TV and fridge......and still sleep deprived!! Baby won't sleep dammit.
OH, and the ICE! Mother fucker! Glad I could help... xx
The ice throne is such a winter piss take... I should join in. Can't beat em'....
I have about 10 fucks in the post, but took them out. and exercise videos are awesome... for moms with babies who sleep! I do worry about him freezing on walks. maybe I'll give that a try. thanks!
Honey....
I'm afraid Ollie just peed on your PS3.... Muahaaaaaa
Ollie had a party in his crib at 4am... ONly I was invited and the party roared on until 5:30. one day right?
I hate winter and I live in California! :(
Awww, I HATE winter too. :( I'm just not a cold weather person! BTW, Oliver looks adorable in the hat! So that's a plus, right? :) Love ya lady! I'll read your rant anyday!
You crack me up! I totally feel the same way! Chicago winters totally blow and I don't mean just the wind and snow!! BTW- where did you get that St. Bernard hat your son is wearing???
Heya TJ! LOL! If any city 'blows' it's The Windy City. I ot the hat at Gymboree.
Girl you are the real deal! My fav for sure. And you are right, ollie's cute face makes the winter bright and shiny... xx
We are from the same Tribe! My happy temp is 84 and sunny. But 96 will work just fine too.
Post a Comment