Black Friday, Door Busters, Super Sales and Holiday Shopping...

When someone says to me, "Black Friday, Door Busters, Super Sales... Christmas Shopping..." I hear "Blah blah, whonk wonk, woop woop, blah blah."  I am not at all one of those, "Honey get the gun we are going to The Wal-Mart for Black Friday" or "Get the tent and some crackers, we need to go get in line at Best Buy for a new TV."  That is just nonsense to me.  Don't get me wrong, I love a bargain, but not enough to sleep out in the cold for it... OK,  maybe I would consider it for a $100 Mac Book Pro, but that is never going to happen, so I am never going to camp on a side walk.

Another thing that is never going to happen, me getting my Christmas Shopping done before December 24th.  I am just not that person.  I would love to be that person, but I am not.  I am queen procrastinator when it comes to Christmas shopping, studying for tests, paying bills and peeing. All of those things have a time and place, and first thing is not it.

So how much Holiday shopping have I accomplished so far?  ZERO!  I mean a Big Fat 0.  But there is a good reason for that...

I can keep your secret better than a padlocked diary, but my own, not a chance.  I buy a gift and can barely wrap it before I want to gift it.  Sometimes I will by FTD a gift and then text him what it is.  I just get that excited about the gift, and have to tell him before I pop.   I know I am a looser, whatever. But, due to this fabulous looser trait, I cannot buy gifts early and hide them in a closet. The only way I can buy early and not give early is to get someone to hide the gifts from me.

Last year when I was 6mos pregs I swore up and down I was going to do all of my holiday shopping early.  Yeah, not so much. At 8 1/2 months pregs I waddled my fat ass all over the malls on December 22nd-24th shopping for Christmas gifts. I vaguely remember telling myself that would be my last year of enduring the last minute crazy shopping...

So much for that.

I am not even going to lie to myself this year.  I suck at holding on to a gift, I suck at shopping early, and now that I have a baby, I just plain suck at shopping. So, early shopping is just not going to happen... probably ever. Oh and, I would attempt to lie to myself about online shopping to make my life much easier, but I know that is fruitless too.  I like to see and touch before I buy.

I am just going to stick to the old faithful method of procrastination. I will get all anxious around the 20th of December, make a shopping list and attack it over the next 2-3 days.  FTD will do the same. He is just as bad as me, if not worse about waiting until the last minute to buy gifts.  Seriously, he shops on Christmas Eve every year. We are a pair to say the least...

Do you have any ideas? Are you the early shopper, or are you going to be standing in line with me?  Are you reading this post from your campsite on Best Buy's sidewalk?

Tis the season to procrastinate! And change the radio station when the station insists on playing Christmas music 24/7 before December.  I freaking hate that!

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Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit