The one thing all parents master before their child is a year old...

The Standing Diaper Change...

Where the heck is that little nugget of information in the baby books?  Why didn't anyone tell me that the minute my baby learned to crawl, he would make changing his diaper near impossible? The hours I have wasted thinking I could teach my baby to lie still while I changed his diaper were a complete waste of time.  All I want to know is, why didn't anyone warn me about this, and where is the instruction manual on The Standing Diaper Change?

It took me complaining to my sister and girlfriend (both mothers of two) to find out, we are all chasing our bubs around at diaper change time. All babies refuse to lay still during change time. In fact, my sister insists that soon I will become a professional at the standing diaper change, poo filled ones and all.

The log rolling began a month ago when Oliver started crawling. The minute I laid him down on his back, he would roll to his belly and pop up to all fours. Next he started trying to use the railings of the change table to stand up. Of course I tried to stop him. I would flip him over, repeatedly, but he would just fuss and flip back over. After constant flipping and repeated "nos!", I moved on to Plan B... Distractions.

I tried to put toys in each hand to stop him from gripping the railings to roll over. Instantly he would drop the toys and flip.I tried the change table straps, he would still manage to roll under them. I even tried to put one arm across him to hold him down while I changed him with the other.  Nothing worked. One of my other been-there-done-that friends told me to put him on the floor and use my right leg to hold him down while I change him.  I have not tried this because the minute I try to restrain Ollie he cries. I am a spineless twit and cannot stand the sound of him crying, so restraint is out.

Now I cannot even get him on his butt before he starts flipping.  Oh, and FYI, that flip is ridiculous when there are a bunch of rabbit poop pellets in the diaper. I have gotten poop on my fingers more time than I can count. He refuses to stay down for me no matter what tactic I throw at him. Two points Oliver, zero mommy. As usual...

So, take it from me, your baby will not stay on his back the minute he figures out how to flip. You can try the tie-down straps on your change table, toys, "Nos!", what ever you want. Your only hope... sorry make that option, is to learn how to change your baby standing up. Which, from what I hear you will become good at it eventually.

I may be wrong about having no other option than mastering the art of the stand up diaper change... though I don't think I am. But please, if you know of another option please do share!

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit