FTD/FTM dynamic. Play/Panic

Every year our city has a big Halloween parade that is full of scary floats, crazy clowns, The Ghostbusters Mobile and even a truck full of zombies trying to escape. I am not a huge fan of Halloween or scary stuff, FTD is. He thinks the Halloween parade is the most fun. So much so, over the past three years FTD, and even his family one year, have come to the States just to see the parade, and then stick around to celebrate Halloween, since Australia barely acknowledges the holiday.  This year I was apprehensive about going because of Ollie. There were so many reasons I was against it that I am going to have to throw out a list...Just like I did for FTD...

1. The parade started at 7pm, which is when Ollie beings his bedtime routine.
2. Ollie refused his late afternoon nap so I knew he would get fussy.
3. The parade was going to be crowded, pushing a stroller through would suck.
4. There was going to be very loud music, lights and crazy clowns with chainsaws, which is way too much for even big kids. (Like me!)
5.The parade goes for 1.5 hours, no way could Ollie survive that long without a meltdown.
6. It's a big scary Halloween Parade, not suitable for babies!

I made this list very clear to FTD.  FTD just replied with, "Balls! Ollie is going to love it. Where is his Yoda costume?"

Reluctantly I told him where the costume was, and followed my boys out the door...

Within a few minutes Ollie started crying and screaming.  I immediately busted out the, "I told you so!" on FTD.  He took Ollie out of his stroller, gave him a couple of raspberry kisses to calm him down and onward we went...

The rest of the parade played out like this.

Ollie and FTD played and yelled and laughed while I panicked.  Damn it, I suck!  I was so sure Ollie was going to crumble that I spent the entire time waiting for it. Preparing for the worst. The worst never came.  Not even when the Hellraiser float came out with screaming, loud music, plumes of smoke and crazy clown people running into the crowd.  FTD and Ollie were having a blast. 

Fist in the air screaming in excitement 
at the Hellraiser float. 
The chainsaws were blazing, 
smoke machines polluting the air, 
screaming children everywhere, 
it was pure Halloween parade controlled chaos, 
FTD was in Heaven.  

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???  I don't want to be that mom. I don't want to be so full of unnecessary anxiety that I miss out on fist pumping with FTD and Ollie.  How come now that I am a mom I am a panicky freak? I seriously need a chill pill.

I just want so bad to be the best mom with the best baby.  I couldn't help but think I was making a foolish decision by letting my baby go to a crazy loud parade that started at his bed time.  But, I wasn't making that choice alone.  FTD was sure it was going to be fine, and that I was being over protective. He was right, I ended up not having faith in both my son and husband.  I hate to admit this, but sometimes mommy doesn't know best...

Bottom line: I totally missed out on a fun night because I let myself become completely consumed with unnecessary anxiety.  On the bright side, I learned a valuable lesson early in Ollie's life. I vow to in the future wait for the meltdown before freaking out.  Or really, have more faith in my son's ability to handle life without my holding him close in a quiet room. 


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Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com