Q. "Are you going to have another baby?" or "When are you going to give Ollie a sibling?"
It's funny... Ok, it's not really funny... The family planning Q & A started way back when FTD and I started dating with, "When are you two going to get married." After being asked that 432 times (and getting an ultimatum from the US and Australian Governments) we got married. Then within a month of getting married the next million dollar question started rolling in, "Any plans for having children?" Yes, of course. Luckily, seven months after getting married I got pregs. I was sure this would stop the family planning questions once and for all.
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
I nearly crapped my pants when I got the first, "What about a baby number 2?" question before Oliver was 6-months-old. I'm pretty sure I answered with, "Easy killer, one baby at a time." Now that Ollie is 8 1/2 months old I feel like I am being asked all of the time about our plans for having a number #2. My standard answer is something along the lines of, "I would love to give Ollie a sibling, but the idea of two in diapers is too much to think about right now." Or if I am not in the mood to talk I use the same answer I used when people asked about having us baby number one, "We will have one when God decides to bless us with a baby." That answer was brilliant for stopping people from trying to discuss it further. You cannot fight with 'God reasoning!'
Now on to my real true honest answer to what OUR plans are for number 2.
A. FTD's answer is short so we can get that out of the way, "Not any time soon."
He says that is because,"The claw and bite marks from are still healing." Poor FTD is traumatized from me being a raging hormonal biotch through this last pregnancy. My goodness those hormones sure were something else. <insert evil laugh>
My answer is, "Right Now!" Seriously, I have always lived by the motto, "shit or get off the pot!" I know I want to give Oliver a sibling, so I want to just get it all rolling. I want the two kids to be close in age. I would be super stoked with another boy to hand everything down to too. I hate nursing so I would like to just get all of that over with together too. Being a new mom is not easy. I have heard from moms of multiples that while you know what to expect with the second, it is not any easier to loose sleep and deal with growing pains. I want to just power through the baby years and get back to being me. I would also like to loose the baby weight one time if you know what I mean.
So yeah, I would be fine to start trying close to when Oliver is 10-12 months old. I want to get moving on all of it, so my family will be complete, FTD can tied up after #2 and off we go with our perfect family. I want my perfect family to be me, FTD, two boys, a cat, a German Shepherd, and a partridge in an effing pear tree. Do I think it's that easy? that I will have another boy? Hell no.
So, the very true answer from both FTD and I is: No Babies Anytime Soon.
FTD and I are not on the same page about having baby number 2 at all. Plus, Oliver is only 8 1/2 months old and I too am still a bit traumatized myself from my first pregnancy. We are going to just enjoy Ollie growing into a super boy, and let God's plans for our family unravel as they should.
P.S. If for some reason FTD and God are not getting with my plan for baby #2 by the time Oliver is 2... I'll get FTD drunk, act all nice to him and say a little prayer hoping that tonight's the night! Just sayin...
16 comments:
Seriously, the questions never stop coming!! I often go with the God answer too; it's true and it shuts people up ;). I'm with you re: getting it all over with, though I struggle with the idea of not giving #2 as much undivided attention as Baby L. I keep thinking that if she was a bit older (eg 2-3), she would be more independent, thereby freeing me up to give #2 more quality time! But my eggs are expiring soon so time isn't really on my side on this.
Nothing wrong with a little drunk seduction ;) with that said, can I tell you how often I get the question 'so when are you going to try for a girl?' It kills me everytime because a) I would HAPPILY have a 3rd boy and b) whose business is it anyways? Best to keep the families waiting and in constant need of surprise, right?
Consider yourself lucky that you didn't get asked till after Ollie was born - I was hit up with that question pretty much the moment I announced I was preggers! I suspect it's because of the two older boys, but still, so not cool!
Anyways, glad I'm not the only person bombarded with questions about 'what next'... perhaps we should brainstorm witty responses??
How about... 'as soon as I can sell the first one' !!
I was still pregnant when people starting asking me about a second, they was all "ooh its a boy so you'll be trying for a girl next"..wait what? who said we'll be trying again at all?
People keep telling me how a "one year age gap is nice, or maybe a two if you want to wait abit.. but we would like another grandchild, wouldnt a girl be nice?"
I loved the look on their faces when i said actually, im pretty happy with one unless in the distant future i weirdly change my mind.
I'd look at people like they were crazy if they started asking me about #2. There is no way in hell I plan on taking care of two babies in diapers. I will just explain to people that I'm not thinking #2 until Aria is 3-4 years old.
Its funny that with one people ask when is number two coming along. I will say it was it seems easier to get it all over with at once, diapers,feedings etc. Ironically once you hit three people are like, you done yet??? I do think it's healthy to let your body and mind get back to somewhat of a normal state (realistically the old you is gone, you're a Mom now) I'm a firm believer that the higher powers handle the timing. The baby's come when they're supposed to. This is coming from someone who swore only two and is getting ready to pop out four. In total I have five. Wouldn't change a damn thing about my tribe either. =)
I know exactly what you mean. I don't want Ollie to Bevkeftviut. 2/3 isca good age. Plus FTD is really hands in, so even when I'm finished nursing Ollie I'm happy to start trying. It's going to be 10 LONG months before baby arrives anyway...
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I LOVE having a boy! I would love having one more. and yes, that sweet drunk seduction may play a roll... ; )
LMFAO! YOu and FTD would cause a full-on riot in the grocery store. 'as soon as I can sell the first one' NOT EVEN A LITTLE RIGHT!! p.s. Have I told you lately that I love you?
While you were still pregs... Wait, now that you mention it. I think I did to! WTF??
Nice! Way to screw with the grandparents. Maybe I'll use the ' im pretty happy with one unless in the distant future i weirdly change my mind.' Thanks for that.
Yeah, 2 in diapers is WAY too much to process!
LOL! I bet by 3 you got 'are you done yet!' at five... Well done! I also belive it's up to the higher powers too. So really who knows...
Oh my gosh!! Thank you so much!
Bahahahaha love you too kiss kiss
The questions really do keep rolling! When I moved to South Africa, the very first question I got asked was when is the wedding. Three months later we were married and being asked when was #1 coming! I was STILL pregnant with Lil Mister when we were asked will we have more! (Mind you this was in my 9th month so the answer was a definite HELL NO at the time!) After Lil Mister we also always answered with we aren’t planning anything anytime soon but God always has his timing! Sure enough LJ is due less than a month before Lil Mister turns two! I agree with the ‘power through’ thought! I’m so glad to think that I’m done! I don’t have to ever be this raging, topsy turvy hormonal person again. I’ll nurse LJ and then my body will be mine again and forever! To some that may sound selfish but for me it is a big step!
As far as dealing with it all, the MYOB motto works great inside my head with a polite smile and a ‘we’ll see’ works for the people whose noses are all up in mine! Hehe BTW Hubby Dearest is also getting tied up and when people start finding out about that it opens a whole new world of questions….but what if one day you change your mind? What if one day she isn’t here anymore and you meet someone new? What if you lost a kid? (I mean seriously that isn’t the happy perfect family picture I have so I just turn suddenly deaf!)
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