Have I told you lately how much I love my super son and being a mother? I can honestly say motherhood has made me 100% a better person. (Seriously, that is not saying much.) However...
(Yes, a wicked rant about the not so joyous aspects of motherhood is about to ensue...)
...This morning at 6:20am (I know this does not sound early, but when you were up nursing at 1am and 4:20am it is!) my darling, sweet baby was ready to start his day with a coo and a smile. I on the other hand, had no desire to smile or coo at anything but my sweet dreams. I staggered in to his room, one eye open the other closed trying to desperately hold on to my sweet dreams... I looked at his brilliant smile, smiled back and said, Come on dude. You are not a Rooster! Why do we have to get up before the sun every morning? I swear he knew what I was saying, because his mischievous smile got bigger, followed by a squeal that got FTD up too. Damn it... Hello morning, goodbye Channing.
I have come to realize if there was one thing I took for granted the most before becoming a mother, it would have to be sleep. After a particularly late night out on a work night, I would shrug and think, I'll catch up by going to sleep early tomorrow night, or just sleep in on Saturday. Now that I am a mother there is no such thing as catching up on sleep. There is no such thing as sleeping in on Saturday morning, unless you call 9am sleeping in. Which, before baby, 9am on Saturday morning was reserved for death and sample-sales only. If neither had happened, you better not be calling.
I'm so sick of waking up with the rest of the cocks on the planet! I have not had more than 5-6 solid hours of sleep since Oliver's birth 8-months ago. I tell myself that one day I will sleep well again. One day... Ok, honestly, I want to scream and cry. I just want to go to sleep and sleep for as long as possible. I want to feel well rested. I want to wake up, after all of the cocks on the planet and say, hello day!
I know that the worst is behind me. But, candy coating and bullshitting aside, I hate the sleep deprivation associated with being a mother. Sure, I can tell myself all kinds of crap reasons why it's not that bad, or this too shall pass, but when it's 1am and I am laying in bed unable to get to sleep, I want to cry because I know there is no way to change the fact that at best, I am looking at 5 hours of sleep, and that's only if Oliver does not wake up wanting to nurse before 6am, which is next to impossible.
For those of you who are not moms yet, GO TO SLEEP! Sleep your ass off. When someone calls you lazy, give them the finger and go back to sleep. Your day will come and you will thank me for this advice. For those of you who are moms, I feel your pain, I know how bad it sucks. I am right there with you praying to God that not only will you get to sleep soon, your baby will stay asleep just 15 minutes more than yesterday.
Oh, and if you are that mom that throws a couple of toys in the crib, or turns on a DVD in your baby's room, then crawls back in bed begging the parenting Gods for forgiveness while you steal 15 more minutes of sleep, I am right there with you...
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19 comments:
Ugh, 6.20? That's a sleep in! We're up at 5 (yep FIVE) in the morning, little toe rag! Sometimes we get to go back to sleep till about 7 which is fabulous, but usually we're up and at it till about 9 when bub crashes, and I stumble into the shower :-( and the worst bit? Judging by the bigger brothers, it doesn't improve until they're at least 6 - and then it's only until 5.30! wah wah wah wah wah
Oh, I feel ya girly! My sleep deprivation is no longer due to my kiddo (who's 7 and can get her own cereal). I'm an insomniac, but I wish I could drift off into dreamland and run into Channing's arms! I will be wishing extra sleep on you! <3
If I could go back in time PK (pre kids) and tell myself one thing it would be to get more sleep!!! I was right there with you with throwing a dvd on to get more sleep!! I worked nights too, get home at 4 am and be up with the kids at 6am.... So glad that they're older now and can take care of their selves!!!
I remember in my early 20's living well off of only 5 hours sleep every night, going to university full time, working almost full time, with odd jobs on the side, and then going out on the town. If I could have harnessed half of that and saved it up for motherhood.... If wishes and buts were candy and nuts I guess.
Ugh... this lack of sleep thing is a challenge. James has been getting up in the middle of the night and staying awake for 2 hours just playing.... This morning when I was trying to get ready for work I told myself to be grateful... but dang... I HATE being tired all the time. I feel like my face has aged 10 years in the last 7 months with the big old lady bags I have under my eyes. I miss sleeping in, going to bed early, STAYING asleep, and getting back to sleep easily... someday... someday...
AMEN! If I got sleep I may not be such a cranky bitch with white hairs and black eyes... just sayin'... Why won't they sleep through the night yet??? I don't get it!
Lol at this post. Story of my life! Except, in our case, dear baby likes to wake up at 10, 12:30, 3:45, 5:30, and then sleep in until 7:00 am, all the while needing to nurse to get back to sleep.
Hubbs is considering a permanent relocation to the guest room :(
Can't wait until this phase is over or I expire from fatigue!!
I miss sleep. The first year was the worst. I would wonder if it were possible to die from lack of sleep. I am so grateful that my daughtre has finally started sleeping through the night (mostly).
This is how Chloe wakes us (me) up. By pooing every single time :
Chloe: OWWWWW WAAAAAHHH AAAAAA
Me: *ignores*
Chloe: NNNGGGHHHH (this is her pooing sound). NNNGGGHHHH.
Me: OKAY OKAY AWAKE NOW
But your daughter is not a baby?? Oh say it ain't so...
Lack of sleep is definitely hard. I am a lady that loves my sleep and have never been a morning person. Now I'm trying to learn to go to bed earlier so I can be prepared to get up earlier. Aria has been pretty good with night time so far though so I can't complain too much. I just hope it sticks and gets even better!
5! When we are up at 5 it better be to nurse and go back to sleep. I also have a heck of a time getting to sleep before 12.
Thanks again for that photo of Channing. So nice.
I don't know how you did it! 2 hours of sleep. I would be an evil evil...EVIL person.
I like candy and nuts! ; )
That's just it. Being tired all of the time! Oliver is now up at 3:30 and dstays up for about an hour. Luckily he gets himself back to sleep.
I'm so over the zombie look too. Oh, and I want toi kill people. Maybe Zombies are really modeled after moms?
We have been o the same schedule, except up at 6:30-7. I'm soory about the hubbs, but they just don;t realize it US that are suffering the most!
It sticks... then changes... then sticks... then changes. Good times!! If she is already sleeping well at night you are on your way! Oliver is 8 months and he still sucks at sleeping through the night!
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