I don't even know what to say. Am I really 8-months postpartum, and my little baby 8-months old? Didn't I just write about him being 7-months old yesterday?
It's all going too fast. I say it every time, and judging by the old women who accost me in the grocery to tell me, "Cherish this time because it goes too fast," I will continue to say this every time. Forever. I just cannot believe it has been 8-months since I was pregnant. Too fast...
The list...
Me
1. I am still tired. Dog ass, I want to punch strangers in the face for fun, tired.
2. I am bored with my life. I want to run around like I used to. I know this must sound selfish, but it's true. I miss the freedom. 8-months and I have not had more than two drinks, gone out with my girlfriends for a late night, or gone on even the shortest of weekend holidays. I feel like a caged animal. I also feel bad now for saying this b/c I love my baby so much, and would not trade him for a Hangover style night in Vegas... Not that I wouldn't love one...
3. I am still breastfeeding exclusively. What this really means is, I am still carrying around these huge things on my chest that leave a trail of liquid wherever I go like Hansel and fu*king Gretel. I still have to watch what I eat and avoid Caffeine. It's not awesome. However, this is just for a year of my life. It is worth it... Only 4 months to go!!
4. I am down to my last 10 pounds of excess baby weight to loose! I wore my pre-pregnancy jeans last weekend! They fit even better after I dropped the tear of satisfaction! Yay me!
5. I am such a different person, with different priorities. I feel like I have matured 8-years in 8-months.
6. I have a new level of patience. I can put up with anything. Well except the hair pulling. Oliver yanks on my hair so hard sometimes I want to bite him. Seriously, bite him.
7. I live on a tight budget now. Before Oliver I pissed away money. Now I am so afraid of not having enough to feed him, diaper him or even have a roof over his head. I save and pinch pennies. I kind of hate this about my new motherly ways.
8. I am now a Been-there-done-that mom. I look at moms with newborns and smile fondly, remembering the good ol' days. WTF is that? I'm still a new mother!! How can I feel like an old mother already when I look at babies just months younger than mine?!
9. I hate to admit this, but so much time has passed since being a big fat constipated, gassy beached whale of a bitch, that I look back on pregnancy fondly now... Ok, "fondly" was the wrong word... I look back on it with a wicked case of amnesia because I think now it was not really that bad... Ok, "that bad" was the wrong phrase... Oh screw it. Pregnancy sucked, but I forget how much since it has been so long. And thanks th the amnesia, I would totally do it again for another Oliver.
10. I have the capacity to love like I have never known how to love before. I love being a mother so very very much, even more today than yesterday, even in the haze of no sleep, and even when I am dreaming of a Hangover style night in Vegas with my unmarried friends.
Oliver
1. WOW! What a big fat baby boy. He is wearing clothes for 12-month olds. His feet are so big they don't fit in Carter's Footy PJ's. His hands look like they belong on a 3 year old.
2. He is a human wrecking ball. Now that Ollie is mobile he crashes into everything in his way. He pulls himself up on anything that will hold him, and things that will not. He is constantly up to no good.
3. The word "No" means "Go" to him. We have tried every discouraging word and phrase to keep him from power cords and cat food. Nothing works.
4. He has figured out that screaming, fussing and whining will get him attention. I am trying not to respond as much, but he knows as long as he keeps it up and gets progressively louder someone will come running.
5. The child has a death grip. I have to make sure I do not push Oliver within arms reach of anything when out shopping. If he grabs hold and I take it away, he makes such a huge scene you would think I was trying to kill or kidnap him.
6. Now that he can drink from a straw, not only is my drink no longer safe, no one else within arms reach is safe either. He will grab at strangers in line.
7. We are beginning the transition from baby purees to baby meals. He has never been fond of mush. He still only eats lunch and dinner. Not a huge fan of food in general. Just nursing for him is fine.
8. His only word is mama so far. He is trying out all kinds of sounds, tones and pitches. I LOVE hearing his little voice. I hate hearing him scream for fun.
9. He still is not sleeping longer than 6 hour stretches. I am close to sleep training. I am just not sure I have it in me yet. Clearly, I have not reached my breaking point.
10. Oliver is awesome. I am so lucky. If I was not a selfish human I would not have any complaints. He is a wonderful blessing. I love watching him grow and become a little boy.
