Observations at 7-month Postpartum

Yes, SEVEN!!!! full months since I delivered my beautiful baby via the sunroof (C-section for those non-TOBP peeps).  How in the hell has 7-months passed already?

Oh, and I know I said somewhere around 3 or 4 months I was no longer going to refer to myself as postpartum, and then each month I have said, "OK, one more month of observations."  Well, my dear friends, I have officially fallen off of my high horse and hit the ground hard enough to knock some sense into me. Hell yeah I'm still postpartum!  I also realized the longer I rock out the "I'm postpartum" mentality, the longer I have something to blame for the pudge, gas, bad attitude, random acne breakouts... Oh hell, let's just get the observations list a rollin'....

1. I'm still amazed I am a mother. I wonder if I'm totally a head case for having a 7-month old baby and still finding myself in awe that I am actually a mother.  I have a baby... a son.  That's insane to me.

2. I have been breastfeeding exclusively for 7 months, not one drop of formula. I am here to tell you, "When you breast feed the pounds just melt off," is the biggest load of horseshit.

3. I have officially declared war on the last 15 pounds of baby weight.  Maybe it's 20... no I think it's 15... I don't  know because I don't own a scale. I refuse to let that hateful piece of anger inducing crap into my house.  My pants fit or they don't, a number doesn't do anything but piss me off.  With winter around the corner, it's time to face the fact that I have 3-4 months to loose the extra weight before I am couch bound.

Once the cold sets in, I hibernate like a bear.  What ever fat goes into winter with me stays, and usually multiplies.  I'll just tell you right now, by the time January rolls around I don't even lie to myself about New Year's resolutions and gym memberships. Every year I sit on my ass, knitting winter blankets to stay warm and blaming Mother Nature for my problems.

4.Thanks to breastfeeding I still have not started menstruating yet.  Which is super cool.  I may be ovulating, but I couldn't tell you if I am.  (FYI: If you want to leave a comment about how I can "reach down" and find out.... PLEASE DON'T I've heard, and no thanks. ;p)

5. I'm still struggling with the over whelming desire to punch FTD. In the face. Very Hard.  Damn hormones. ;) Co-parenting takes a lot of work, compromise and understanding.

6. I still have strange bouts of acne flair ups.  I'm 34, not 13. I'm so over it!

7. I have gas.  STILL!  WTF?  It was so much fun grossing out FTD during my first two trimesters of pregnancy. The third trimester it got old.  Now it's just plain annoying.

8. My hair has stopped falling out like crazy.  Thank God.  I was so sick of unwrapping my hair from my son's body.

9. My feet have nearly shrunk back down to normal. My feet grew a full size and a half during my pregnancy. I had people following my footsteps to find Sasquatch!

10. I'm still a hormonal hot ass mess.  I can cry on cue, then laugh hysterically and then declare war on FTD the next breath.  I was told that I may stay this way until I stop nursing. Which, idealy is when Oliver can have cows milk when Ollie is a year old. Ugh. 5 more months.

11. I'm finally out of my maternity clothes.  It's really nice.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still wearing larger size clothes than pre baby, but my maternity tops and bottoms are packed away.

12. "It takes 9 months for your uterus to shrink," says my best friend.  Why yes, she is awesome.  For some reason hearing that made me feel at ease, like I have two more months before I should even expect the pregnancy pooch to piss off.  Of course I asked her, "What about Beyonce and Heidi Klum?"  She explained they were freaks of nature.  I love her. You can love her too. Nine months ladies for your uterus to shrink... go with it!

13. My boobs are massive!  Freaking massive!  It really does seem like they are growing in relation to Oliver's milk needs.  So, does that mean my breasts will be larger than my head by 9 months?  I'm seriously concerned.

14. I'm still not sleeping well.  I keep the monitor on all night, so I wake up to every peep Ollie makes.  I just cannot bring myself to turn it off.

15. I honestly believe I am going to emerge from my postpartum life, the breastfeeding and pregnancy weight gain woes brilliantly in the end. I have a goal of doing all of this at Oliver's first birthday.  I'm not joking.  I feel like a woman now.  Mentally I love the direction I am going.  I just pray physically I will continue to get better as well.

16. #15 being said... I still want to run away every once in a while. I want to start over at 20.  I think I get so over whelmed by the responsibility and commitment.  I want to run away to No Responsibility Island.

17. Routine, Routine, Routine. I'm not sure who benefits more from the routine, me or Ollie, but it makes each day so much easier.  Wake Up, nurse, play, nap, play, nurse, play, lunch, nap, play, nurse, nap, play, dinner, bath, nurse, sleep. Repeat.  I love it! I need predictability.  We both do.

18. I freak out at least once a day trying to figure out the future and how I will pay for it... clothes, toys, food, schools, new house.  Daunting.  I have to remind myself, one day at a time...

19. I want so bad to be the very best role model for my son possible. I want us both to be proud of me.

20. Oh My goodness I love my son.  More than words will ever come close to describing. When I smell him and hold him close my heart slows down. I relax and my body fills with this beautiful rush of love.  Oooh sooo amazing.

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Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com