I am not a top mommy blogger, I never will be. I am a mother who wants nothing more in this world than to be a proper writer-sell one of my books, write articles, stay home with my beautiful son and live the dream. I started blogging because I needed an outlet. Because I hoped and prayed someone would read my writing and think, "She is brilliant! I need to find her to see if she has written a brilliant book to publish." I write because I love to write.
I am also a competitive perfectionist. I need to be the best at everything I do. If I am committed, I am unstoppable. I had no idea there was anything more to blogging 3 months ago than just writing what I felt, and then sharing it with anyone who stumbled by. I just wrote everyday to the few of you who kept stumbling by. I love you. And you know who you are, the dedicated wonderful women, and men, who read everyday, post comments and make me feel like some how my writing is helpful, even inspiring.
Well, over the last two months I have learned that there is so much more to the blogging world! It has made me nuts. Full on fucking nuts with jealousy, drive, purpose and now complete and utter frustration. There are thousands of mommy bloggers out there. Hell, probably hundreds of thousands. I cannot compete with that. No, I am not going to compete with them. The competitor in me is annoyed and wants to fight. The new mother and true writer inside me says, "Oh fuck it, be a mom and write what you want, who gives a shit if you are not the best mommy blogger with 50,000 followers?"
At first I thought I did give a shit. I realized while sure I would love to be the best, (who wouldn't?) my quality of life is so much more important. I have a 7-month-old baby, and I have to go back to work soon. I am no longer wasting one more minute trying to be the top mommy blogger by spending all day trying to get followers and likes to quantify that. I am the best damn blogger I can be!
I am going to write what I want, when I want. I am never ever going to make a living as a blogger. I need to spend my last few weeks of unemployment with my growing son, not trying to grow my blog into anything more than it is already. Of course I cannot stop writing this blog. I love talking about motherhood, raising my big boy, and all of the crazy crap necessary to do that. I write everyday. Writing is my passion. That will never change no matter how annoyed I get with the writing industry.
Sorry, I just needed to rant, to vent, to use my blog for what it is for, my own personal outlet. I'm so crazed by all of the Blog Hops, Top Mommy blog rankings, Picket Fence giveaways, getting free giveaway sponsors (which the first starts on Sunday), and gaining followers and likes. It's doing my damn head in!
This whole being a top blogger is just not me. I was never one of the popular girls, so why start trying to be one now? Fuck it! I'm a mommy with wonderful cyber friends. I will write forever as long as I have you. xx
17 comments:
Love ya, and you are a top mommy blogger to me! :) I prefer you being frank and blunt. To heck with people-pleasing! I know that I am definitely nowhere near those big readership numbers but hehe - I don't give a flying f@$! :D Let's just keep being crazy mommas together ;)
I've felt the same way you have for a while now. I am competetive too. Eventually I realized it wasn't the number of followers that mattered, but the people who actually read my blog and took the time to comment. Having a few devoted readers who really like my work is much more important to me than winning a numbers popularity contest. That's why I haven't done any blog hops until now. I'm trying it out to see what happens. Will I find new readers or just get a bunch of likes on FB from people who never read my blog? It will be an interesting experiment. I cam from the TGIF Blog Hop.
You certainly are one of my favorite "you"s I was talking about. I am just not cut out for being a professional blogger. I'm a mommy and a writer and I have a brilliant group of cyber freinds. Love you Mrs. L! xx
Hi Lillian! I am so over this Hop. I liked, followed and tweeted so many on the list. I got two followers, and 3 likes. and no tweets. Whatever. It was too much trouble to join the popular kids. Honestly, only the Hop Hosts benefit.
I really appriciate you and your art is fabulous. So the Hop was not a total failure!
I agree not to give a fuck. I could be willing to do this with you :) I saw you left a comment on my blog and figured it was good to get an understanding of my readers...uhem stalk. I love it. I am going to follow. I can't wait to read your cursing again. I like the real people :)
So, so, so, so true and there are alot of us who can relate! It takes too much time and effort to have 'followers' who might not even read or relate to anything you write! What's the point?? I am getting so irritated with those Blog Hoppers who like you and ask (tell) you to like them back. Not gonna follow you if I don't like you and I would hope you'd do the same! P.S. I like you. :)
Thank you Mary. I've never been one of the popular girls. But I have always been blessed with brilliant friends. I prefer it that way. ; )
I completely agree with Mrs L, I prefer you when you just be yourself. That's the writer we all know and love!!
There are hundreds of mommy-blogs but you know what?.. yours is the ONLY one that I read EVERY day. You've become a dear long-distance friend to me.
Don't compete, don't feel bad and don't ever change xx
LOL! The fact that you don't give a rats ass is what makes your blogs so good.
The people who go for quantity not quality readership will get there, but their blog posts soon mirror it - more posts with less substance. Stick with what you're doing, you're writing is far superior x
Awwww, April- we all know you have a better story, book, etc out there - and the blog? Well, it serves well as a satirical outlet for us all, and will provide great reference points for your biography later in life after you've taken the world by storm with your fame :)
I second everything everybody said. You posted on FB to let you know what we want to see more of, well, you. You posting no-holds-barred rants and raves is what makes your blog great. And getting FTD to join in is something I've not seen on other blogs. Keep giving us something to think about, laugh about, and sometimes cry about. We love you.
Thank you Aussie Mummy! You are my dear log distance friend too. I really do pray we get to celebrate our Son's birthdays together with Meat Pies and Lamingtons! xx
Shay, you are so fabulous. I am so lucky to have met you. xx
Jessika... Hell yea! Thank you!
Oh Foodpixie. I do love you so! Thank you!
To all of you wonderful readers and comment leavers... I really wrote this blog to say, I am no longer going to try to force this blog to be anything more than it's meant to be. I can not conform, it's not in me. I may be making a huge mistake, but since there is no freaking way this blog is going to keep me from the daily grind of 9-5, why should I spend one more minute turning it into something more than what it is, a place to conect with some of the most faboulous women I know! You continuoulsy give me the green light to be me. So that's all I am going to be. And a "top mommy-50,000 follower-blogger" is not it. I don't have the time to beg, borrow and streal for that shit! ; ) I've got a son to slober on and a blog to write.
HA! I love it and totally agree with you. I can't keep up with all this blogger hype. I just like writing.
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