Your baby this week.

Every week I receive an email with information on what my baby's milestones should be for his age. i.e 23 weeks old. Up until about week 16, I would open the emails excited to see where Oliver should be developmentally, and what I can expect him to begin to do in the weeks to come. After a few weeks of not meeting some of the milestones, and passing some up, I realized those emails were no more than baseline crap that I should not let worry me.  

In the beginning, I had a very advanced baby.  Hellooooo… He came out of the womb ass first and smiling!  You can call it gas all you want, but whatever he was smiling! Then as the weeks went on, and he started packing on the pounds, things started changing.  Yes, he rolled over ONCE around the time he was supposed to start, but that quickly ended when he became too chubby to pull off the ol' tuck n' roll.  

Next was the standard baby-foot-in-the-mouth milestone. When weeks passed before he even considered finding his feet, let alone shoving them in is mouth, I began to worry. Then, I looked at his big fat tree trunk thighs and stumpy calves and applied the laws of physics. No way in hell could he reach his toes, let alone shove them in his mouth!  In fact, still at a week shy of 6 months old, his toes are FAR from his lips! Granted, he can at least reach them now.

At Ollie’s 4-month well baby check up his pediatrician confirmed that he was teething.  Now, nearly six months old, not one tooth has come in! That’s 2 months of drool, fussing, chewing on me, the cat, the couch, toys and nothing! But, somehow 2 of my girlfriends, whose daughters are younger than Ollie, have their first teeth! WTF?

So, this week when I got, "at 23 weeks old your baby may be getting up on all fours…" Um, yeah, unless “all fours” stands for his little baby 4-pack of abs, that shit is not happening! Don't get me wrong, he gets up on his hands just fine now,  but his big chubby belly is not leaving the ground any time soon.  I didn’t even read any further before deleting the email.  I just cannot let myself get caught up in trying to keep up with the “baby Jones's!”  

Ollie is fat and happy.  He eats, sleeps, poops, and plays, to me that’s right on track for becoming a proper man!   All the development in between will be on his on time. So what if he is behind on some things? He will catch up.  He is my sweet baby, for me that is good enough! To hell with, “your baby's milestones  this week should be..." My baby is in my arms, and that’s right where his fat little butt belongs!

Mommy Tip for the day: Courtesy eMED TV

Helpful Tips for Parents of a 5-Month-Old Baby
Enjoy this time. Your baby is rapidly getting quick and mobile. As she approaches areas or objects that are off limits, instead of saying "no" to everything, try redirecting her, or even telling her "that is not okay" or "danger." This way, you are teaching her what is right and wrong, rather than just saying "no" to what seems to be everything in her world.

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com


Unknown said...

Lol, I know the Helpful Tip wasn't meant to be funny, but all I could think of was standing over Isaiah with my frantic jazz hands flailing about over my head, screaming "Danger! Danger!" everytime he toddled near something he shouldn't.
Coincidentally enough, this morning I deleted my latest 'baby update' email too, although I had a slightly different reason (it was all about breastfeeding vs the evil evil formula lol). Isaiah rolled over consistently about 5 weeks ago - and yet he has only rolled over maybe 10 times since then. We got told he was teething (by the doctor) when he was 16 weeks old, but no toothies yet! On Monday, he sat by himself for a good 30 seconds, and yet any time I try to get him to sit now, he does a diagonal faceplant and lays in a drooling mass on the floor. I reckon him and Oliver must know how cool their mums think they are so they're too busy chillaxing and feeling comfortable and secure to extend themselves too much. Well, that's what I'm telling myself anyways! :-D

Mrs. Loquacious said...

I try to avoid using the word "no" when I can. I usually use phrases like, "Don't touch. It's hot!" or "Don't touch! Yucky!" or "Owie - you can look but not with your hands" - and when possible, I try to use the word "Yes" often. :)

Unknown said...

THANK YOU! I have stopped reading those for about a month now- I had written in asking if they would send "adjusted age" emails instead, because it was so discouraging getting emails for Chase when his adjusted age is about 7 weeks different. So I stopped reading that crap now and just let him do what he's going to do anyway :)

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

LOL! Jazz Hands... YES! Yeah, Ollie doesn't want to show up his mommy and daddy by being too much of an over achiever!

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

That is exactly what we do. We try to say Yes, Good boy and YAY! as much as possible. "No" is just not a word we want Ollie to familiar with at 6 months old. I believe if you give children and explanation with a "no" they learn why not to do it, not just not to do it.

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

Yeah, those emails are crap! I'm all for goals and standards, but at a few months old... Screw that!

Cindy said...

Thanks for this, I'm glad to know I am not alone. When my baby didn't grab objects at 4 months old I cried and cried. Now he has a death grip! I am unsubscribing from those stupid emails!