How Many of Us Are...

I know I’ve said it a bunch of times already, but being a new mom is not easy! When I'm particularly stressed out or feeling sorry for myself, I try to remember that I'm not alone, other people have survived theses same “new mommy” moments. 

For example, last night while attempting to nurse a fussy baby--that would latch on for two minutes, then turn his head 180 degrees with my nipple still on his mouth, REPEATEDLY--instead of crying, I had a bout of psychotic laughter, then thought how many of us are going through this right now this very minute? At 6 million babies born in the States each year alone, and when you factor in the world… No way am I the only one at 3:30am having my nipple ripped off!

What can I say? It’s true, misery does love company. I throw a big fat pity party in my head, and think of all the people I can invite by imagining…

At this very moment, how many of us are…

  1. Trying to nurse a teething baby, who is hungry, but for some friggin reason is just not interested in eating.

  1. Changing a diaper blowout at 4am and geting peed on.

  1. Trying to pump just 5 ounces in less than 4 hours. (SO annoying)

  1. Still begging their 5-month old baby to please consistently sleep through the night.

  1. Lying in bed at 6:30 in the morning, praying to God that your baby will change his mind and go back to sleep.

  1. Secretly wishing for a weekend spa getaway, ALONE, to just sleep in silence.

  1. Still fighting the war on pregnancy weight loss at 6 months postpartum… in maternity clothes no less.

  1. Thinking that the promise of, “breastfeeding will help with weight loss,” is total bullshit!

  1. Still want to punch their husband. In the face. Very hard. (Damn hormones. ; p)

  1. Picking up baby toys for the hundredth time, only to get them right back out the next day.

  1. Suffering from chronic back pain, due leaning over the crib, lifting a fat wet baby out of the bathtub, bouncing, rocking, holding and carrying the buddle of fat joy.

  1. Starring at the bedroom ceiling at 1 o’clock in the morning, because they cannot fall asleep…  after spending the entire freaking day dreaming of sleep. It’s crap! I know the ceiling of my bedroom better than my own damn face! I need sleep training.

  1. Wish the Super Nanny would turn up at the front door, ready to train dad to be a super nanny, while you sleep like a baby the whole week.

I could seriously go on and on with this list.  I love being a mom I do… BUT…. I just need a freaking break sometimes.  My only problem is that I am too much of a control freak to let go and go out and enjoy myself.  I keep thinking that one day I will not care, call up one of my family members, scream MAYDAY, and go out for a few hours...

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit