It is official, EVERYTHING is covered in spew!

When I say EVERYTHING is covered in baby Spew... I MEAN EVERYTHING!! It's nuts how much this boy can spit up compared to what he takes in!  YES! I am burping this baby regularly! The major difference is that since having houseguest,  Oliver is getting about an average of three pumped bottles a day, opposed to his usual one at the most. Don’t get me wrong, before the extra bottles he would spit up. It just seems like lately it is every damn feeding I get an ounce or more shot back out at me!

 Of course he doesn't always yack on my face, but when he does he makes a show of it! In the past week and a half he has covered me, the gliding chair, the couch, my bed, Dad, the floor, the crib, the changing table, he even hit the cat! Sometimes I wonder why I even put a burp cloth on my shoulder, he never hits it. In fact once he picked it up and spit up under it. Of course I look at him and said, “no way!" he thought it was funny and smiled. Yes, at 3 months old this baby already has the humor of his father!

I am so sick of the spit up I am trying to take drastic measures. Well, I'm trying EVERYTHING I have been told and read to stop this little man from covering the ENTIRE house in baby spew.

  1. Feed him before he gets hungry.
  2. Keep him slightly upright while feeding.
  3. Burp every couple of ounces.
  4. Don't give him to daddy right after a feeding... Daddy runs off with him for "super fun time." It's when dad turns up 80's dance beats and the two of them the flail their arms and legs until one pukes or passes out. Ollie is usually the first to puke, daddy is the first to pass out.

Another big puke inducing activity is putting him in his car seat right after a feeding. It never fails that he spits up all over his nice clean outfit. I've been using those disposable bibs that have a fold at the bottom to create a food/spew catching ditch. Works wonders!

It really is amazing how much it looks like he's chucking up after a feed. It seriously looks like half the bottle, but my doctor assures me it's not that much and it's completely normal! Changing my clothes and Oliver’s a couple of times a day, IS NOT FREAKING NORMAL... DAMMIT SHIT!

I will now leave you with a list of my favorite (NOT) spew moments...

  1. I was walking out the door for work, dad just finished giving Oliver a bottle, I lean in for a kiss... Hair, face, clothes, HOSED! I just took off my shoes and headed for my SECOND shower.
  2. Standing in the nursery burping before bed, doing a little dance holding him, he shoots over my shoulder and before I know it my dance step takes me right into it, sure enough he shoots again and my next step, my other foot, right into it. Have I mentioned how much I hate wet socks? Well I hate wet spew covered socks more!
  3. Dressed and ready for Easter brunch in his Easter best, as soon as he's strapped into his car seat... I can't even say it without wanting to cry. Dammit I'm still not over it!
  4. Fully fed, rocked to sleep, I bring him up to my face for a kiss before setting him down in his crib. HOSED with a smile!  All I could do was laugh.
  5. I finally got smart and put a bib on him. He got smarter and learned to yack well past it.

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit