I am just going to start by saying, I have always been a huge control freak and have issues with delegation, I have always been of the mind that it is easier for me to just do “it” myself, what ever "It" may be. That being said, I am an EPIC control freak when it comes to my son. I'm not going to even try to lie about the fact that I am positive I can care for my son better than anyone else. Yes, dad included… sorry dad.
I had heard of the whole "lioness" attitude a mother gets for her child, but I had no clue how hardcore it really was until I became a lioness myself. I keep trying to stand by and let my husband do his “daddy” thing, but I just cannot keep my mouth shut! I know what my son needs, how he wants to be held and how to quiet him in seconds and if daddy is not doing it right I tell him so! I know it may be rude to not let my husband find his own daddy methods for the madness, BUT if I know how to fix the problem then why the hell should I wait to fix it?
My shithead-ness knows no limits... I had my mom come over to help with Ollie the other day and when she wasn’t rocking him to sleep right I just went in took him from her and did it myself. In the moment it was all about calming my son and getting him to sleep. It was after the moment when I saw the hurt in my mom’s eyes that I realized how bitchy I was. It’s just so damn hard to stand by and let my son cry or fuss or need anything, especially when I know how to appease him!
I know it’s a fine line and that I need to ease up and chill out, but its rediculously hard for me! Honestly, I just don’t see why I have too. Again, if I know how to sort out my baby, why can’t I? I am trying my very best to let dad do his thing, and now my mom too (she did manage to keep me and my 2 siblings alive after all) but with everyone else… What can I say, it’s a process. ; )
