Over the last week I have gone back to work, had friends from Australia in town and thrown a big birthday party for my husband. I am so extremely exhausted my toes are tired! Since the birth of my son, 10 weeks ago, I have told my husband, "I am more tired than I have ever been in my life!" 5 separate times. Each time I am positive that I am even more exhausted than the last time I told him. Again, I am certain that today I am more tired than I have ever been in my life.
1.The first couple of weeks of Oliver’s life I was constantly up checking on him to make sure he was still breathing. Even the hubs was up his first 48 hours home scared to death he was going to stop breathing.
2.The next few weeks Oliver was up more in the day, needed more attention, more feedings and for longer periods at a time.
3. Another few weeks pass and Oliver needs even more attention during the day, eats more and is more difficult to get to sleep, still waking up every three hours to eat like clock work at night. A routine emerges so I start trying to do more things around the house and personal things I have neglected over the last 6 weeks.
4. 8 weeks he's up almost all day with short naps, eatinging every 2 1/2 hours, wanting to play more, he's non-stop!
5. 10 weeks I go back to work, have friends over from Australia and have a big weekend long party for my husband.
What was I thinking? I wasn’t, I am too tired to think. I over extended myself and am now barely a shell of a human being. I am so far gone I want to rip my husbands face off for getting to sleep longer stretches than me. I want to quit my job because it sucks and I want to sleep. I never want to have houseguests again because they turn my life and my house upsidedown. I hate people and parties and birthdays can go to hell! Needless to say I have a nasty attitude at this level of exhaustion, but somehow I keep going.
I have decided that once I became a mom I gained super human powers. One of which is high functioning in the throws of complete and utter exhaustion. My baby keeps me going, he needs me to maintain some level of sanity and some how some way I do! I am floored that I am writing this right now, but that new mother super human power has kicked in to let me keep going, even when my toes tell me I cannot. Everyday that I have been a mother I have learned something new, whether it is about my son or myself. Today I learned that apparently a new mother's exhaustion is limitless and ability to power though it I freakishly amazing!
