The Domestic Goddess

Lately the one complaint I hear the most from my new mom friends is that they feel bad for not being able to care for their house and partner well as they would like to. I know the thought has crossed my mind in the last two months more than not. I have just come to realize that a Domestic Goddess I am not.

I sit on the couch, feeding baby, look around at the dust and clutter and make grand plans to do something about it as soon as I finish the feeding. I get up put baby in a docking station and go to start a load of laundry. Then baby cries. Then the phone rings. Then I start the laundry. Then I start to pick up the clutter. Then Oliver needs to be docked in a new station. Then I go back to picking up the clutter. Then Ollie needs to be changed. Then I try to get him to take a nap. 30 minutes later he’s asleep and I attempt to eat. This cycle repeats in multiple ways everyday. I never have more than a solid 20 minutes to myself. Being a Domestic Goddess is just not going to happen with that kind of a timeframe!

A couple of weeks ago I made a goal of cleaning one room aday. I decided that I could make one room each day my focus. I would work on cleaning, dusting and washing the floors of the room with my few minutes in between caring for Ollie. This plan actually worked to get the house clean each week. The problem was that by the end of the week only one room was clean, the one I did on that day. I never felt like the whole house was clean.

I just do not see how it is possible to get everything that needs to be cared for around the house in a day well cared for. I used to have high hopes of getting my to-do list completed each day. Now my To-do list just has one thing on it, Take care of Oliver. I have come to the rationalization that this time in my life is meant to be spent caring for my son and with the left over time, care for myself. My husband and the house have to care for themselves! Worrying about all of the stuff I should be doing is a waste of time, because I just don’t have the time to do it all.

I realized that I was the only one freaking out about everything not being in its place. My husband doesn’t even know that things have an actual place. I try to keep the floors and the kitchen clean, the cracks, crevices and constant flow of laundry are just going to have to wait until I have the time. When I get overwhelmed by it all I remind myself that, This To Shall Pass! My inability to be a Domestic Goddess is temporary. I will be back to running a tight ship before I know it. And so will you…

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com


Unknown said...

First- I say- just let it be! The house and those in it will survive if it's not clean. On that note- my lingering OCD tendencies still exist, so my solution is the baby carrier (works wonders to get and keep him asleep)- perfect for mopping, vacuuming, dusting, etc...or with laundry and that stuff, I cart him around and plop him on the bed while I fold clothes, or into one of the "docking stations" while I tackle dishes/dinner. The house still looks pretty rough- but... at least the essentials are covered :)

foodpixie said...

Can you imagine what it would be like with a baby and a 2 year old? Yikes!

Kiwi Mum said...

Agreed! The only housework that gets consistently done here is laundry (so I have clean undies) and dishes (so I have vessels for caffeinated drinks. The dust bunnies roaming the house seem comfortable enough and Kiwi Dad (who ironically is actually an Aussie) can't tell the difference between the current state of the house and it's pre baby immaculate state. My OCD compulsions now revolve around baby - lining up the feeding necesseties on the couch, having nappies, wipes and swaddling clothes constantly at the ready and not having tooooo many vomit stains visible on me, him or the furniture at any one time :-D