Parenting by the book is not for me

I have quickly realized why the “Been There Done That Mothers” are so laid back, they did all they could to play by the book with the first, but quickly realized it is impossible, so with the second it is a total go with the flow do what it takes mentality.  I think every mother sets out to do all of the right things, follow all of the rules and be the absolute best mom possible.  In less than 6 weeks I have realized in order to do so, I have to do everything but follow the parenting books to the letter. 

If my son is crying I check MY new top four immediately, hunger, cold wet diaper, tired, and gas.  Thankfully it has always been one of the four, but the lengths I have had to go to settle the issue I have not read in the books.

  1. Tired- If he is tired I will do what ever it takes to settle him. 
The Pro says- Don’t pick him up if you have already put him down, don’t put him in your bed, don’t cuddle and rock him all night long just to keep him from crying and so on…

I say- SHOVE IT!  I will pick him up from his crib, rock him, cuddle him, kiss him and then take him to my bed (with his Snuggle Nest co-sleeper), give him a pacifier/dummy and stay up all night staring at him if that’s what it takes.
  1. Wet Diaper- I will change the diaper whenever I want!
The Pro Says- It’s a 12-hour diaper with dryness protection.

I say- If that diaper could win in a water balloon fight I will change it.  If I am putting my son down for the night and the current diaper is half full, bet your ass I’m changing it. I don’t care if my husband is standing over me saying, “it’s not the diaper, don’t change it, that thing cost .18 cents!”  I WILL CHANGE IT!  When I am not sure what lil man’s problem is, I want to be full on positive it is not the diaper. 

  1. Hungry- I will leave my big fat milk jug in my son’s mouth ALL DAMN DAY if that is what it takes.
The Pro Says- Feed on demand every 2-3 hours. 

I say- If it stops him from screaming and makes it happy, Drink up Son!  It drives my husband crazy, but if sticking the boob in his mouth stops him from screaming at me, I’m doing it. He is a growing boy, who is to say he does not need an IV of my booby milk flowing through him?  If he’s fat, happy and quiet then mommy’s sanity sees another day.

  1. Gas and pooping- Gas & mustard poo have become the fourth cry makers.
The Pro says- It’s common in newborns they will work it out.

I say-“WHERE ARE THE BLOODY GAS DROPS? I DON’T WANT HIM TO EXPLODE!” I LOVE gas drops, they make him go from bright red and straining to smiling in his sleep while he craps his diaper. That has got to be baby bliss at its finest hour!

I don’t give a crap what the professionals say about screwing up your kid, I will do what ever it takes to stop my son from crying.  When he screams it seriously feels like I have been punched in my stomach.  I can’t take the idea of thinking there is something I can do to stop him and standing by to “do the right thing for development.” I have come to realize just because the baby book says resist the urge, doesn’t mean I have to.  I mean do they really think if I let my son sleep in the bed with me, his wife will join us someday? Or that he will have to remove the pacifier from his mouth before saying his “I Do’s” at his wedding?

I am more than willing to give in today to make my son happy and correct it later.  Plus, correcting it later means I get to rationalize with a 2-4 year old, to me that sounds interesting.  At that age I can bribe him or lock him in his room and turn up the radio. He will survive, I know because I did! O, just kidding of course but, when I was a kid a parent could parent how they wanted too, society didn’t give a crap.

Parents of multiples have already learned that doing what you want doesn’t really screw them up.  Parenting is all about reading the existing books for ideas on how to write your own parenting book.  I’m feeling pretty good about myself right now, 6 weeks in and I already have figured out, that “screwing your kid up” by not following the book is a joke.  It’s all about keeping harmony and happiness in your home, whatever that may take!

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit