When Dr. Google Says It's Tourettes, Autism, ADHD, OCD and Bipolar

Let me just preface this by saying, I'm the mother of a Four-year-old boy. By the end of his first year of life, I learned my lesson the hard way about Googling his symptoms. Ten times out of ten, it always ended in me freaking out that he had a rare incurable disease. I was so bad about it, his pediatrician made me promise that I would NEVER again look to Dr. Google for a diagnosis. Then, last night happened...

Last night, FTD looked at me and said, did you hear that?

Me: What?

FTD: Those noises Ollie makes?

Me: Huh?

FTD: That humming noise. He makes it after he says something.

ME: Um? He's four, he's constantly making noises!

FTD: Well, listen for it. It could be an indicator of something...

Me: What are you talking about?

FTD: I was talking to Mrs' Smith at school about it, and...

Me: Whatever, I'll listen for it.

Being that FTD works at a school for children with "learning differences", he is super sensitive to the tics, quirks and differences that make each kid special. Most times it's me being paranoid, and FTD telling me to chill out, however, in this case, it was the other way around. Which, totally freaked me out.

He's the level-headed one, why is he the one freaking out this time?

I spent the rest of my son's waking hours following his every sound. By the end of the night, I did notice what FTD was talking about. Once in bed, I laid next to Ollie and listened more for the sounds, and even asked them about it. He told me he liked the way they sounded or he thought they were, "funny".  This is where my downward spiral began.

As he settled into sleep, he started repeatedly making a humming sound... until he fell asleep!

I Googled:  4-year old son makes funny noises.

At first,  Dr. Google said all signs pointed to Autism.

Then, Tourettes.

THEN! Tourettes, with ADHD, OCD and BiPolar.

Fu*k. Me.

I hate Dr. Google.  WHY did I do it???

So here I am, freaking out my son has Tourettes, Autism, ADHD, OCD and Bipolar, all due to noises he was making. As much as I wanted to call myself an asshole for Googling his symptoms and move on with my day, I couldn't. I was in a full panic attack.

It's so easy to morph symptoms into Dr. Goggle's diagnosis. It's almost like, I am so desperate for an answer, even a crappy one will do. SO WRONG!

Warning Parents: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

Thanks to this little mishap, I have to either call his doctor and fess up that I Googled some shit and now I'm freaking out, or obsessively watch my son until I calm the F*ck down on my own.I'm going with the latter, for now.

It's funny on the heels of a post about my genius son, now I'm writing about him having Tourettes and a slew of other things. I'm telling you, Parenting is not for the faint of heart or conspiracy theorist, because it will drive you mad if you let it.

Bottom line: My son may or may not have Tourettes, but to go from a noise to Tourettes, Autism, ADHD, OCD and Bipolar is pure dumbassery. I know better.

Please, take it from me, before consulting Dr. Google, talk to your doctor first. Because, at this point, the only one with a true problem is me! My son is four. He's a wild, busy toddler, over analyzing that is not going to do either of us any good.