6/29/15

Why It's The Kids That Suffer The Most When Parents Clash

I'm just going to come out and say it, just because two kids get along, it doesn't mean the parents will. I quickly learned this when my son was still an infant in "mommy and me" play groups.

Parents clash, that's just an unfortunate fact. I've dealt with clashes that involve parents going through a divorce trying to shove me in the middle of a "pick-me" war, or who have different lifestyle choices, or are just plain mean and nasty to be around.

Normally, I try to smile through the issues for the sake of our children getting to play together, but sometimes, that's just not possible.




I recently had an issue with another parent being just plain nasty to me. She clearly didn't like me and made it very apparent through the mean things she said and did to me. It almost felt like I was back in high school with a mean girl. Still, for the sake of Ollie being able to play with her son, I tried to ignore the white elephant in the room, her mean-girl attitude toward me.

I wish we could get along. My child adores her's. But it's just not going to happen. After a month of praying about the issue, talking with friends and trying to ignore her nasty comments, I finally came to the realization that I had to let it go. I have no choice but to move on. It makes me sad because nothing in this world makes me happier than seeing my son happy, but I have to stop letting this mom treat me like shit for the sake of a playdate.

Thankfully, letting go and moving on from this has made me feel 100% better. That being said, there are no winners in this. Our children are the ones suffering the most from this mom clash. It makes me sad that our boys won't play together anymore. What's more, I'm worried about how the boys will interpret the absence of the other. 

The mom and I are adults, we will go about our lives knowing there was no capacity for us to get along, but our boys won't understand why they don't get to play together anymore. 

This situation has taught me that no matter how much I want to get along with another parent, it's not always possible. I've also realized the kids suffer the most from these clashes, so trying my best to stick it out is the right thing to do. At first. But, once it becomes apparent there will be lasting issues, I need to remove myself from the situation.

If you are currently dealing with a similar situation, and you feel like you have done everything to make nice with the parent you are clashing with, I cannot recommend enough that you distance yourself from the situation. Hold fast to knowing your child will have many friends throughout his adolescence.

It's a shame that problems between parents exist, but it's a fact that they happen. The sooner you let go, the sooner you and your child can find a playdate that's fun for both of you.








Have you dealt with this? How did you handle it?




In addition to being the founder of First Time Mom and Dad, April is an award-winning published writer. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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