Am I robbing my son of his anonymity?

I never planned on writing this blog.  I never thought I would ever be a "blogger" for that matter.  I started my pregnancy blog, tiredofbeingpregnant.com because I am a writer and felt shut down on the pregnancy forums for voicing my opinions. I never expected that blog to grow into anything, and I certainly did not expect to start this blog, but after getting so much encouragement to keep writing after my son's birth...  Regardless of how it happened, here I am now, a mommy blogger with my son's beautiful face posted all over the damn place.  I never ever meant for this to happen.

I always swore I would never post photos of my son like my friends who over posted their kids on social media.  I also swore I would NEVER let my child become famous or work in media of any type.  Yet, somehow, I have done just what I said I would "never" do. Never say never...


I honestly told myself on Oliver's first birthday I would stop blogging.  Or at the very least stop posting his photos... not. so. much.  The thing is, he is great, and fun to talk about and his photos are always just so damn awesome I want to share them!  That's what parents do in this age of technology right? We share our kids photos to a point of ridiculousness.  We shove our kid's face in your face until you post about how sick of it you are on your social media. Still, am I sailing in with the times, or stealing my son's anonymity?



It's too late to really contemplate this from a what have I done stand point, I can only think what should I do differently, if anything, moving forward. Honestly, I didn't expect to this blog to get so big.  I thought it would just be me and my super wonderful and faithful readers from Tired of being Pregnant   talking and sharing.  Since we are all spread out across the world, continuing the blog kept us together, sharing and stumbling through with no judgement. 

Don't get me wrong, I am SO thankful this Blog has grown into what it has, because thanks to the comments here and on my social media, us new parents are getting the tips, compassion, and encouragement we need from each other.  I am very proud of this blog and how much it has helped first time parents! Still, this is not about the blog, it is about over sharing Ollie with the world.

While I am not sure what I am going to do moving forward... I am sure this is something I need to think seriously about since this blog is here to stay, and growing every day.  Should I continue to post photos of Ollie, or just photos of everything but him?




 How do you feel about posting pics of your child on the Internet?  Is it ok?  Or a big fat no way?



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Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer, blogger and proud debut novelist - The Devlyn Disguise. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more about April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

12 comments:

Amanda B said...

Of course sharing a few photos is absolutely okay, it's what parents do, like you said. But I also believe in an element of wonder. I would think posting an occasional photo is no big deal! You decide what is occasional. Of course, your readers are going to want to see photos of him everyday! It's the new "reality" obsession. They'll be okay though without :) What about a "column" in which you share Ollie updates occasionally? Something to think about. I would likely limit posts as well. I'm glad you're thinking about this. He will be a boy/teenager/man someday after all, and Internet sharing can be a potential issue (depending on the topic), an unintended consequence of the blog world I suppose. Good luck in finding your balance, and keeping the essence of your blog!

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

Awesome comment!! Thank you. I was also thinking the occasional photo here and on FB and Instagram would be considered normal. Still, it's such a fine line. Thanks again!

Jess said...

I've never really given this much thought until now. I share pictures and videos almost every day on Facebook. It's definitely something to think about now. I think the occasional photo is OK. You're proud of the awesome little man your son is becoming! But if you're concerned, then it's a good idea to limit how often you do share his photos. I like hearing how he is doing and all the milestones he hits. It's fun, and makes me excited for Arianna to reach those, too. But no matter what, you'll make the decision that's right for you and Ollie. Even without his pictures and constant updates, your blog will still be my favorite. I greatly appreciate your honesty, and love the discussion topics. I'm definitely going to think about this more, and I know you will come up with the solution that's best for your family.

Christy Garrett @ Uplifting Families said...

As a mom, I do post a few of my own children's photos on my blog and on social media. After all it is who I am and it is my life. I want my readers to know that I am really a mom with three kids and not some phoney. However, I typically use stock photos for most of my posts.

Amanda D said...

I can't help but post photos of Aria because I'm so damn proud of her and think she's the cutest kid that ever walked the planet (I know I'm a bit biased....). I share on facebook and instagram under private settings. I know it may bug a few, mostly my child-less friends but I don't care. It's my facebook and it gives me an opportunity to share what makes me smile everyday and stay connected with family and friends. Most reactions I get are positive, from those that care for Aria just as I do. I love seeing pictures of my friends children, including Ollie, so I can watch them grow up. Especially since it's so hard sometimes to stay connected on a face to face basis. I say post photos, but just do so safely!

Angela said...

I'm not a mom, but if I were, I don't think I would post my child's pictures on a blog. I would be more apt to post on my private Facebook page, where the viewing is limited to people I have approved. With that said, I do realize that regardless of privacy settings enabled on Facebook, any of my friends could just save the pics and upload to the internet anyway, so putting them anywhere on the internet is sort of a risk. I just imagine if my parents had done the same for me; I don't think it's fair for a child's likeness to be distributed on the internet (essentially infinitely and forever) without their consent. I'm especially critical when bloggers publicly tell embarrassing stories/ask for advice on their teen/preteen, when the situation is probably nothing that the son/daughter in question would like having posted on the internet. However, if you choose to stop posting pictures, I don't think you're too far gone; babies look similar enough at a young age that most people wouldn't recognize the image of your son in however many years when he can start making some of these decisions by himself.

Jessika Kazaros said...

I completely understand your dilemma, and although I see both points of view, I personally do not mind pictures of the kids- within reason- being online/public. As long as its not nudity or something that could be misconstrued, I PERSONALLY do not see the harm. However, I do understand parents' desire to keep their kiddos' faces private, and support that too. I guess it's all with every other choice we're faced as parents. Do what works for you!

Lovely Light said...

I've wondered about this since I had my girl almost 6 months ago. I try to keep full anonymity on my blog (in terms of my identify), however, friends and family do read it. I'm still not sure what to do....
If you read dooce.com, she had dealt with this issue as well.

Anonymous said...

I don't post pictures of my boy's face... And I've asked my friends and family to refrain from doing so as well. I'm just not comfortable with his pictures being all over the internet. I catch a LOT of hell for that, and some even suggest that he's ugly or deformed, so I'm embarrassed. I can assure you neither is true :)

The thing is, it's YOUR decision. If you want to share his pics, then share them! I would say as long as you aren't posting pictures of him naked or doing something horribly embarrassing, it's probably fine.

I don't understand why there is suddenly all of this parental finger-pointing. Your choices as a parent may be different from mine, but that doesn't make you a bad mother.

He's adorable, by the way! :)

Khaleelah said...

I actually don't have any names attached to my blog. Although I'm new to blogging, I made a point to not use names. I have posted a few pictures of me, Hun, and Baby but that's it. Now, does that mean that someone somewhere, if they really really wanted couldn't link my name to some other place on the internet, no. Currently, though one would have to really know me in order to link even our child's first name to me. We are pretty private people in general, so it's not difficult to keep that at our forefront.

I feel that it's all "to each their own" though. If people choose to do it, great, if not great. Frankly, it doesn't much matter to me what others do, as I choose to believe they have their reasons. My opinion may change later on this blogging journey of mine, but I guess only time will tell :)

Good luck in your decision going forward!

Creed said...

If the photos you're posting (or anyone else, not just you), are utilized as a tool towards a point or contention, then there is no reason to believe that you're "robbing" anything from your child. If he grows up to be anything like you, the he'll probably enjoy that his likeness was used to guide/assist others via this website. However, there are many, many sites that do not adhere to this doctrine. Too many blogs are little more than online family photo albums with no direction whatsoever.

I look at it this way: If someone I work with wants to show me a picture of their child in relation to a discussion we are having, then great. If you roll up on me and are like, "look at my kid! LOOK! Blah, blah, blah" and it's totally unprovoked...well then just get the hell out of my face.

ThatAshGirl said...

I don't have kids but I've always felt that you shouldn't post a pic on social media without the person's permission. Of course this isn't really applicable with kids. I think it's one thing to post on your personal Facebook page, another to post on a public Facebook page or public blog. I think more in terms of safety. Your fans and commenters probably aren't snagging pics of your kid and posting them elsewhere....but like with anything public, you don't know who else could be taking those pictures and using them for other purposes. Once it's public, you lose a certain amount of control.

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