Jun 21, 2013

10 reasons why I am NOT going to win Mother of the Year 2013

Just in case you were worried that I was going to steal your thunder in the Mother of the Year contest, I thought I would outline why that is not gonna happen.
  1. Naptime and bedtime are my favorite time.
  2. Some mornings (Most) I lay in bed trying to summons the devil to make a deal to get my son to go back to sleep.
  3. I bribe my son with snacks to get him to stop whining. 
  4. At the end of the day if the clothes my kid was wearing are not visably dirty…Back in the closet they go.
  5. It is not uncommon for lunch to be left-over dinner from the night before.
  6. I used to wash the sippy cup with soap and water when hit the ground, now, I rinse it and hand it back. (I hear I will graduate to just wiping it on my shirt by child number two.)
  7. My son, well under two years old, watches TV for about 20 minutes to a half hour a day. 
  8. While out running errands, I have had to leave my son in a dirty diaper because I already used the emergency spare one I keep shoved in the glove box.
  9.  Sometimes I let my son run through the grocery store because I am just not in the mood to hold him down in the cart while he screams at me. It’s all about choosing my battles.
  10. I am a terrible cook, cannot follow rules, complain about cleaning the house, and still try to roshambo with FTD every time our son has a shitty diaper.

Oh and...

Honestly. I don’t want to win that dumbass award anyway.  

Thankfully I am in the running for winning one contest with Top Mommy in the title.
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  1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!!! You are so funny. I do some of those A LOT.

    1. HA! it looks like you are out of the running too. ; ) Glad you liked it.

  2. Nawwww... don't feel bad! we have the tv on all day (admittedly on music channels because our stereo is dead) - it's at the point where Spud will pick up the remote and bring it to me in the morning so he can start the day dancing!

    1. I am that awesome mom who lets her kid eat breakfast in lunch in front of the TV. He loves his Jerry Springer!

    2. Haha, nothing builds an appetite like watching rednecks argue over how Jim Bob had an affair with Sue-Anne's mama/sister/aunty on their stepbrother's pickup truck with Sue-Anne's bff Jolie-Anne watching!

  3. This sounds a lot like my little world. I guess I am out of the running, too!

  4. All of that, plus I am desperately seeking a preschool for my little one not just so she has friends to play with and something to do, but so mommy gets a break.

  5. Oooh! Love this post. I too am guilty ofloving bedtime... I also have put a wet diaper back on my son... because the only clean diaper I had he pooped in... and it really wasn't THAT wet... bahahahahaha!

  6. Wait, I thought some of that was just common sense!! Those are supposed to be bad things?? In whose book? People with full time nannies?

  7. I think I can tick off everything from your list and then some!

  8. LMAO- what's wrong with leftovers for lunch??? It's that or PB&J... and snacks for bribery- I am the mom who walks either a) straight to the bakery of the grocery store for our free cookie, or b) straight to the baby section to get a food pouch that I let him eat as we walk, then pay for the empty container at checkout. Whatever works!!! ;)

  9. Don't even get me started on the type of mom I'll be. I won't even start out with the soapy washed sippy cup. Food falls on the floor, and I pick that shit up and eat it. And kids are way more resilient than me.

  10. Never feel bad for the way you raise your child. You are doing what you feel is best for him and he is thriving. I bet your son will give you the mom of the year award regardless.

  11. You meant to title this tips for moms,right? I mean putting back the slightly less than fresh clothes ... brilliant!

  12. yep, im out of the running too, ive done everyone of these that can be done with a 6 month old. Especially #1&2... i would also do #3 if my son had EVER had clothes that weren't filthy by the end of the day

  13. So funny but so true. Love it xxx


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My husband and I are clueless first time parents. We are far from childhood development professionals. We cannot and will not be held responsible if you take us seriously, especially because we don't even take ourselves seriously.

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